


Is love worth the fight?

by Irelandfaith1118



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:42:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 73,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9445958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irelandfaith1118/pseuds/Irelandfaith1118
Summary: Jack and Sam has to finally decide is their love for each other finally worth the fight to be able to be with each other??





	1. Anger Issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you JackGywer for your awesome cover art!

[](http://www.directupload.net)

They had all decided that O’Malley’s would be the perfect place to celebrate Jack getting his star for Brig. General and Sam getting her silver oak leaf signifying that she was a LT Colonel. The crowd had gathered and more people had arrived from the SGC then O’Malley’s was accustomed to having in one setting but that did not stop them from putting their best foot forward for the crowd and take them on. They were a rowdy bunch but the waitresses and bartenders had dealt with them before and as long as they did not get out of hand, then things would be okay.  
Jack and Sam would have done well to remember that the last time they were in O’Malley’s together things did not end on a good note. That was the night that they had been arrested along with Daniel for destroying the place. For some reason it seemed in Sam’s mind that that was the last time the two of them had actually been somewhere together and had laughed with each other, not worried what others may think. That they were being too close or fraternizing with each other. It was not too long after that night, that team nights seemed to drift off, the going out for breakfast together with Daniel and Teal’c all but ceased. The friendship was being held only by duty, but even staying away from each other had not eased the fact that they loved each other and could never let the world know.  
The four of them had been there almost five hours now. Most of the rest of the SGC had congratulated Jack and Sam on their promotions and gone home. The tiny few that remained had eased off into their own corners leaving SG1 more or less alone. They somehow knew this was a change for the leading team. After all Jack would no longer be going off world with them and they knew how hard that was going to be for them all.  
Sam had left the table to go play pool and that was where Daniel caught Jack’s eyes every time he looked at his friend. Teal’c had decided to stand closer to the pool tables – more or less to watch Sam’s back but he would not for the life of him tell her that. Teal’c was not a drinker and Daniel had pretty much stopped after only two beers but Sam and Jack seemed to be an endless well tonight.  
Daniel had noticed the looks and snide remarks that had passed between the two of them. He in no way what so ever liked where this was going. They had allowed years of pent up frustration to grow until it was like a cut with infection oozing out of it. If it was not taken care of soon, the heart would have to be cut out. Would his friends allow this to happen? He had seen Jack once when he felt he had no heart, he did not think he could bare to see Jack that way again and he knew damn well there was no way he ever wanted to see Sam with no heart, no life, no laughter. It was close to that now. Something had to change but getting drunk, Daniel thought would not solve this.  
Then all hell broke loose. It really was quite harmless the way it started. Jack doing nothing than he had done for the past seven years, watching Sam’s back. But for some reason she took offense to it tonight and things begin to get really out of control. Teal’c informed the two young men that had started the whole incident that it would be best if they left and never looked at Colonel Carter again. Leaving would have been an option that would have saved them a butt whooping but sadly not everyone listens to advice and sure enough, Jack saw his chance and took everything he had been holding back out on the young man next to him. Teal’c calmly walked over to the friend and escorted him out of the door, came back to where Jack and the other friend was and after stopping Jack from striking the idiot again, picked him up and disposed of him outside also.  
However, the fight had just begun and it was not between Jack and two strangers. Sam was furious and she was letting Jack know.  
“How dare you think I cannot handle my own fights! I don’t need you acting like you’re my guard dog, sir!”  
“My God, Carter! The idiot had his hands all over your six! I was only coming over to assist you. I realized you had one of them but there were two of the dumbasses!”  
“SO there were two of them! I do believe I have fought off a heck of a lot more enemies then just two at a time! Do you really think me that incompetent?”  
“Damn Carter, I wasn’t calling you incompetent! I knew they were drunk and I didn’t know where they may stop at or who else they may have had with them. I did no more here than when we are in the field. I don’t expect you to handle all the baddies and I just stand by. Have I ever given you that impression?”  
“So you can come to my rescue when you think a guy may be hitting on me but you can’t be man enough and hit on me yourself!”  
Jack looked as if Sam had hit him straight in the face – but it only stopped him for a minute. Before Sam knew it, she was backed against the wall and Jack and she were nearly skin to skin.  
The two of them were starting to draw a crowd and Daniel was worried. Things could be said in anger that you did not realize you said until too late – they did not need that. There were still some SGC personnel around, some people they did not know that well. Daniel watched the fire in Sam’s eyes and the frustration in Jack’s. Jack’s hands rubbed his face as if he were going to rub it off and Daniel thought he was going to have to stop him. But then Jack bellowed out his next comment and Daniel knew they were in for a long night. He looked over at Teal’c to see what he thought about the whole episode but he was standing there calmly – one eyebrow raised watching but Daniel knew he would be ready to intervene if necessary.  
“Oh for crying out loud, Carter! You know damn well why I haven’t hit on you! Don’t you dare start pointing fingers now!”  
“Me pointing fingers! Holy Hannah – you flirt and play around but not man enough to stand up and make a commitment!”  
“I do believe Carter that the flirting has long since stopped as has the playing around as you call it. You made sure that stopped when you decided I wasn’t what you wanted!”  
“Really – well you sure didn’t seem to mind when you told me to get a life! I mean after all it was your suggestion that I was just using you as a “safe bet”!”  
“What the hell are you talking about? I never told you that! You’re the one that decided maybe being a cop’s wife was better than being married to me!”  
“Being married to you! You, you arrogant, self-centered, conceited …you – you never said anything about being married to you! You just avoided me like I was some disease we had picked up off of another planet!”  
Things were really getting out of control now and Daniel knew it needed to stop. His thoughts were confirmed when he saw Teal’c stand up a little straighter and come a little closer.  
“Daniel Jackson, we may have to take matters into our own hands. I do not believe they will be able to control their actions now.”  
Daniel looked from Teal’c to Sam and Jack. If Teal’c thought, they could get Sam and Jack out of O’Malley’s before it got any worse – Daniel was afraid someone would be getting hurt.  
“Really guys, I think we need to take this somewhere else!”  
“Shut up Daniel!”  
Sam’s words came out harsh and even though it offended Daniel, he did not shut up. He knew that they had no idea how mad they had become. If even in the back of their minds they may know it was wrong, they were so angry at each other right now that anything might come out of their mouths. It looked as if Teal’c’s idea was going to have to be used, no matter how bad Daniel hated to use it.  
“You listen to me, I do believe it was your genius idea to “leave it in the room”, not mine!”  
“Oh wow talking about pushing the blame around. I didn’t see you jumping up and down all ready to tell everyone at the SGC and the Whitehouse that you just happened to be in love with your 2IC!”  
“Well I was, Miss Smarty har har – but you shut me up really quick! Just like when we came back from the mind stamp, I was ready to hand it all over – but you were quick to remind me that I was your Sir again, all of a sudden!”  
“Holy Hannah! I don’t believe you! Never once did you ever say that you would quit for me – never did you admit that you loved me enough to hand in your papers. I never remember you admitting that I was any different than the other two people under your immediate command!”  
“Colonel O’Neill did admit that he cared more for you then he should, Major Carter.”  
Teal’c made the comment in such a soft voice that Daniel doubted or hoped that neither of them heard him, but it is surprising what a woman will hear when she is mad.  
“Oh so you even need your Jaffa warrior to jump in on your side now! And here I thought I was head over heels over a man – not some wimp!”  
“Hey watch it! I don’t need no Jaffa, Asgard or Ancient coming to my aide – not like you need dear old symbiote daddy coming to yours!”  
“Guys, do you even realize what you are saying?”  
“Butt out Danny-boy, this is between me and the Colonel – stay out of it!”  
That was it – before Jack even knew what had happened a huge Jaffa fist landed square on his jaw – because Jack was so inebriated the punch threw him back and he was out like a light. Sam, seeing this done to Jack became very offensive and was on Teal’c before Teal’c knew what had happened. Daniel reached up and grabbed her off of Teal’c’s back. Teal’c calmly bent down and picked Jack up off the floor and carried him fireman style out of the door, while Daniel, holding a screaming wild cat, followed out behind him. It did not take long for the crowd that had been watching and listening to Jack and Sam to head towards Daniel to “rescue” Sam but one look from the tall warrior looking man and they all backed off. Somehow they knew going against him would be a helpless case.  
After getting outside – Sam finally got away from Daniel and started towards Teal’c again. Teal’c looked at her with one eyebrow raised and for some reason she stopped but she was so mad if she had been a teapot you would have heard the whistling all over O’Malley’s parking lot.  
“Colonel Carter, I believe you and General O’Neill have already made your presence known enough tonight. Do not cause me to do something I will later regret as I have with O’Neill. Now, Daniel Jackson I believe it would be best if we saw these two home and then we did the same.”  
“I do believe I can drive myself home, thank you very much!”  
“Sam, you are not getting behind the wheel of a car and you thinking you can prove just how out of it you really are. I don’t care if you think you can fly a 747 right now – you will not get behind the wheel of a car tonight. Now tell me where you want to go and I will take you there and Teal’c can see Jack home.”  
Before Daniel could stop her, Sam was heading straight for him, fist aimed for his head and anything else they would land on. Just as she got close enough to him that he could almost touch her, she passed out – landing right in his arms. It was as if all fight had left her and when it did there was nothing more for the alcohol to consume and she gave in. Considering her and Jack had been drinking for over five hours inside O’Malley’s – Daniel and Teal’s was wondering just when one of them were going to pass out. It was not like they were drinking the calm stuff like beer. No, they had moved from beer over three hours ago straight to the liquor. That’s when things had started getting ugly. Words and feelings were coming out that they both had held bottled up for over seven years and the pent up frustration finally needed an out.  
To say that the two men who were with them felt sorry for them was small compared to how bad they really felt. Daniel and Teal’c both had known Jack and Sam for a very long time – Daniel and Jack had known each other even longer – and both men knew that Jack and Sam had loved each other since the day Sam had been kidnapped from the Shavadai people. Maybe even longer in Sam’s case but there was not a doubt about when they started or how deep Jack’s feelings towards Sam were. When he saw the pain that Turghan had inflicted upon Sam, in took everything Teal’c and Daniel both had to keep him from killing the man on the spot. Even after Sam had embarrassed Turghan and they had returned to the SGC, Jack had begged General Hammond to allow him to “go back and kill the S.O.B!”  
But they had known that there was no way they could ever be together. They loved their Country too much and right now they felt their Country needed them a lot more than they needed each other. Daniel had some bad news for them. They were dead wrong – nobody or nothing needed them as much as they needed each other. Maybe it was time they found each other. Daniel’s mind started turning and Teal’c knew it too when Daniel looked at him and said in a very calm voice.  
“Teal’c, I have an idea!”


	2. Fighting

Daniel directed Teal’c to Jack’s house and they unloaded their passenger’s. Daniel was amazed that Jack was still out of it – which only proved just how much he had to drink. When they got them inside, Daniel laid Sam on the bed in the guest room and Teal’c put Jack on his bed. When Teal’c walked back out into the kitchen, he heard Daniel Jackson talking on his cell phone. He looked at him in question but Daniel held up a finger telling him to give him just a minute.  
“Yes Walter I am sure. General O’Neill needs you to contact Thor right away. Explain to him that the General needs him at his home – Thor can use the area tracking beam to find us. It is very urgent.”  
Daniel paused for a moment and Teal’c watched as his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.  
“No Walter, General O’Neill cannot come to the phone – if he could then he would not need Thor. You really don’t want to make him angry do you Walter – I mean if I have to call the President to get this done – Jack is not going to be a happy person. (LONG PAUSE) Thank you Walter – if you have any problems contacting him – call me back on the General’s house phone.”  
Teal’c looked at Daniel with his eyebrow almost lost he had it raised so high. He was waiting for the explanation of why Daniel had just lied to Walter. He was not used to this side of Daniel Jackson and he just hoped the outcome would not be worse than the predicament they were already in.  
“Teal’c man I am tired of seeing them tore apart. They are not going to do anything about the situation so it is up to us as their friends to do something. I won’t allow it to happen anymore. They can follow these stupid rules if they want to but not me seeing what it is doing to them.”  
“I understand Daniel Jackson, but should we interfere?”  
“Well I don’t know -you tell me! Aren’t you tired of seeing them like this?!”  
Before Teal’c could answer, there was a groan coming from the hallway that lead to the bedrooms. By the time Teal’c had turned around – Jack was coming into the living room. Daniel cringed, not sure who exactly he would have rather faced first – Jack or Sam.  
“Damn! I feel like I was hit by a mac truck!” Just how much did we drink at O’Malley’s?”  
Before Daniel could stop him, Teal’c was quick to correct Jack – this was one time Daniel wished Teal’c knew what Jack had meant by the comparison of a ‘mac truck to a fist”  
“O’Neill it was I who hit you, not a mac truck – do you not remember?”  
“What the heck did ya go and do that for, T?”  
“You do not remember what happened at O’Malley’s, O’Neill”  
“No…oh, wait a minute! Are you saying you knocked me out, T?”  
“Indeed”  
Jack looked at Teal’c but Daniel jumped in before he could say anything else. He just hoped they could keep Sam out of it until he could get his plan to Thor.  
“Jack – you and Sam were starting to say things that should not be said in public. You two were so angry at each other that you did not even know what you were saying. Teal’c had to do something or we would have been in some hot water.”  
“Please tell me you didn’t knock Carter out also?”  
“Seriously Jack! Man, you know it was for your own good. The last thing we needed was for the wrong person to hear you two talking about symbiotes’ and Asgard!”  
“Okay so where is Carter? You did take her home right? I mean you didn’t leave her there did you?”  
“God Jack – do you really think we are stupid or are you still drunk? Of course we didn’t leave her there.”  
“Good – then hopefully after she wakes up and is able to take a long hot shower, she will be in a better mood. I will call her later to make sure she is okay.”  
“You can’t really blame her, Jack. I don’t blame either of you for the moods you two are in here lately. I blame you both because you won’t get off your asses and change the situation!”  
“Oh and just what do you suggest I do? I have been fighting to retire for the past five years but they will not allow me to. Every time I mention retiring – they just throw another button at me! Damn don’t you think I want this as much as she does?! And don’t even say it – it won’t matter where they move me – she would still be under my command. The only way she can get out from under me is to change her career out of the service and they wouldn’t let her do that no more than they would me! Hell Carter is a damn diamond for them. They would never let her go and you know it.”  
“No maybe they wouldn’t let her go as far as her leaving completely – but they could let her become Dr. Samantha Carter for them instead of Colonel Carter – I mean couldn’t she retire out and become a scientist working for the government but not in the Air Force – wouldn’t that work?”  
“I don’t know Daniel – and why would I even ask her that? I mean – you sound like you know for sure I am what she wants – well if that’s the case then why the hell was daffy Pete hanging around for?”  
“Come on Jack – you know I don’t fall for that “stupid” crap you throw at everyone else. You know as good as we do why Sam went and got herself a boyfriend. I mean it was plain to see from the way you talk that you were at a dead end for your relationship. Besides, all I can hear from you every time you to talked was how you weren’t good enough for her, you were too old. Or this one – she didn’t want no broken down body for a lover. That one seemed to be your favorite. But you never really came out and asked her what she wanted.”  
“Indeed”  
“Really T-man, is that your input for this crap? Hell Daniel you know I have tried – I have told you of the times I have tried – they have stopped me at every interval. I mean what am I supposed to do – take her and run away? Yeah that would go over real well with her and the Air Force. Do you know what happens to people when they go AWOL? I mean we would be facing court martial not only for that but for fraternization and all kinds of other crap. I flatly refuse to ruin her career!”  
“Do you even know what she wants for her future? You keep screaming about not wanting to ruin her career but you don’t even know if she wants to stay in the service. Have you thought to ask her if she would be willing to become a scientist out of the service so you two can have a relationship?”  
“Damn Danny- why all this tonight? My head feels like it has a sledge hammer slamming into it, my chest is killing me and all you want to talk about is why I am not going out of my way to ruin two peoples’ futures! Can you just let it go? For once just stay out of it!!”  
“No Jack I am not going to do that. Answer me one question and if you can swear that you are answering truthfully, I will shut up and not say anything else ever about it. Do you even know what love is? Have you given up on yourself so much when it comes to love that you don’t even know what love is anymore. Did you love Sara when you two were together or was her love what was holding you together?”  
“Ok Danny – watch it – you’re stepping over the line!”  
“Answer me Jack – if Sam was to tell you that she would be willing to walk out of the Air Force to have you – would you even be willing to do that or do you just throw love away because you don’t think you could love anymore? Did you bury your willingness to love when you buried Charlie?”  
Jack started towards Daniel, hands clenched into a fist. Just as he got close enough to land one square across Daniel’s face, he was stopped by another hand. Teal’c stood there between him and Daniel, hand raised holding Jack’s fist to keep it from connecting to its target.  
“O’Neill – I think it may be best if we walk outside for a minute. You need some air. Come, brother – leave Daniel Jackson here in case Colonel Carter should awaken. Now would not be a good time for you two to see each other.”  
Teal’c was leading Jack to the patio as he was talking to him, looking back at Daniel with a look that said ‘if you open your mouth before I get him outside, I will hit you myself’. Daniel shut his mouth, tightly but the anger was still written all over his face. He did think to himself that he was glad Jack did not catch on that Sam was actually here – he must have thought Teal’c meant in case she called. At least that was what Daniel was hoping.  
Teal’c and Jack soon ended up walking around the neighborhood and back again before Jack had calmed down enough that Teal’c felt it was safe for him to see Daniel again. While they walked Teal’c did some talking of his own, surprising Jack that he would even say that much at one time.  
“O’Neill, I try not to involve myself in things that are not my personnel business. But this issue between you and Colonel Carter is my business. I do not take up for all Daniel Jackson said but he is correct in one thing. You both are killing yourselves while you are trying to save the world you love. By the time you get through saving your world – you will have nothing left to live for.”  
Jack stopped causing Teal’c to stop and look back at him. He watched Jack as he took his hands and rubbed his face, combing through his hair with his fingers. The look of longing was there in his eyes and Teal’c knew what he was longing for.  
“T-man, it’s different here then where you are from. You are used to having a woman that can fight beside you in the day time and lay beside you at night. Give you a baby while at the same time, loading her gun and yours with ammo to keep your world safe. But it is not the same here. We cannot bind the rules just because we kept earth safe a couple of times.”  
“But what you fail to realize O’Neill, is that life has no guarantees – you know this for yourself – I do not need to tell you this. I know that you loved this Sara O’Neill – just as much as you love Colonel Carter now – do not look at me like that O’Neill – I am a man – I see the same thing in your eyes that you see in mine when I look at Ishta. But you know as do I and Daniel – the people we love can be gone in an instant. Daniel feels so strongly about this because he has lost the woman he loved twice. First he lost his wife – and then he lost the woman he was hoping to make his wife. It angers him to see you and Colonel Carter throw your love away when he could not have his.”  
Jack was impressed. He had never heard Teal’c say this much unless he was in a Jaffa council meeting. But Jack was also impressed because he knew that Teal’c had seen right through him just as he would have had he been made out of glass. And he was also right about Daniel, he knew that was why Daniel fought so hard for him and Carter. He will never forget holding Daniel the night Teal’c had had to take Sha’re’s life but the night that haunts him the most was the night he held him after Janet’s funeral. He had known that Daniel had feelings for Janet but he had been scared to try to start a relationship with her because of Shar’e. But the feelings had been mutual and Janet too had been to blame because of her relationship with her ex-husband. He had been a very abusive man and it took Janet a long time to finally start standing up for herself.  
Jack shook his head. Nobody still did not understand the predicament he and Carter were in. Daniel and Janet could have had a relationship – he was not in the service nor under Janet’s command. Teal’c, although he would be the first to fight anyone who said Teal’c was not an American – was not from this planet – they had rules differently where he came from. He and Carter were not that lucky. They would never had met if they had both not been in the Air Force and now the thing that brought them together was the one thing that was keeping them apart.  
By now he and Teal’c had made it back to his house. When he walked into the living room, he could not help but glance over at Daniel. He was sitting on the couch with his glasses off and head held down. Jack knew he was upset but he could not really say anything to him. He understood him but why couldn’t Daniel understand him?  
Jack walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He did not care if he had just gotten home from a five hour drinking binge – his head hurt, his chest hurt and he was tired of fighting with the people he loved. If he had to stay drunk to stay sane then so be it.  
Just as he flicked the top of the bottle across the kitchen, a light shone bright in front of him and when it was gone, Thor stood there. Looking at O’Neill first, he turned and walked into the living room where Teal’c and Daniel were sitting. Jack followed him – looking at him like he was having hallucinations.  
“Thor buddy! What brings you to my house?? And by the way not saying it isn’t good to see you but– and wait for it - how did you know where my house was?”


	3. Stubborn Nature!

Thor looked at General O’Neill than over at Daniel. Even though he hardly ever showed any facial motions at all besides blinking, Jack knew the little grey alien was as lost as he was. And it seemed the answer stemmed from Daniel – Oh for crying out loud! What had he gone and done now.  
Daniel watched the eyes flicker back and forth from both Jack and Thor and he could not help but glance over at Teal’c who seemed to be paralyzed with his facial expression – one eyebrow raised and an “I told you so” look all over his face. Daniel knew he had bit the bullet with this stunt – either it was going to work or it was not but it was already in motions and even if he could stop it, Daniel knew he would not – he was tired of seeing his friends hurt.  
“Hello Thor, thank you for coming. Now if we will all step right into the living room and have a seat, I will…”  
“My furniture – my living room – my house! Someone want to tell me why Thor is in my house and it is not a global emergency. And Danny, this had better not have anything to do with what we were discussing earlier!”  
“Now Jack – if you will just give me a chance to explain. You will see what I did was necessary for the good of mankind. I can assure you – it will be the best for the four of us!”  
“Daniel please tell me that you did not have Thor to beam down here for some stupid reason that no one in this room – not even in this State, hell the Country cannot even can help with. We have discussed this – Carter and I have discussed this – we know there is nothing that can be done. Damn we accepted it – why can’t everyone else?”  
“Accepted it ….really, really Jack! Let’s think about this for a second – you and Sam were ready to kill each other earlier and it sure didn’t sound like you both had accepted anything! You’re not stupid Jack – I don’t care how often you try to make people think you are – but neither one of you have nor will you accept this situation. And what pisses me off – you really want to know what pisses me off – I’ll tell you what pisses me off ….”  
“Please do Daniel Jackson, you are causing my head to ache!”  
Daniel looked over at Teal’c with a dirty look. Teal’c tilted his head, looked at Thor, then quietly sat down on the couch. He figured he would stay out of the talking part but he would be here when things started getting ugly again. Somehow Teal’c knew it was not over yet – not by a Jaffa’s life span!  
“Daniel Jackson, I understand that you and O’Neill are having a discussion. But I do need to know why I am here. I need to get back to my ship if this matter is not urgent.”  
“Thor buddy – you are good to go. Not sure what Danny boy was trying to do but it is of no concern, Carter and I are fine. As a matter of fact, I plan on finishing my beer and going back to my bed and I would figure that is exactly where Carter is right now. So have a good day Thor. Daniel, you know where the door is – Teal’c you are welcome to stay if you want, there is coke in the fridge and movies on the shelf. I am going to bed! If either of you should happen to talk to Carter before I see her, make sure she is in a better mood before she comes to work Monday!”  
Jack had started down the hallway leading to his bedroom – leaving Daniel stunned, Thor confused and for some reason, Teal’c smiling. Just as he turned the bend he ran into something that felt like a horse in a stampede. By the time he had corrected his footing, he was staring right into the most beautiful set of eyes and he swallowed hard. Jack knew who the eyes belonged to but what the heck was she doing here. To be sure she would have told Daniel to take her home as mad as she was.  
However, before Jack could even acknowledge her presence he felt the sting of her wrath for the second time that night. This time it would not be pretty – for neither of them were as drunk as they had been and words can come out really easy when a person is already angry.  
“Oh my god! You! You conceited, self-righteous, pig-headed, male chauvinistic man! I would have never thought of you that way but I guess we can all be proven wrong once in a while! How dare you act like it was all my fault about the whole incident at O’Malley’s! I do believe it was your fault – you couldn’t leave well enough alone and let me handle my own business!”  
Teal’c seemed amazed at first that Lt. Carter remembered what had happened at O’Malley’s but then he remembered that O’Neill had acted as if his memory of the night’s events were not dampened by alcohol either. Obviously, neither Jack nor Sam were as drunk as he nor Daniel had thought them to be. It seemed the hurt they were feeling and now causing each other – did not need alcohol to enhance it.  
“Oh for crying out loud, Carter! Are we really going to start that again! I will tell you the same thing I told you then – I was watching your six just like I have been for 7 years. Why was this time any different?”  
“Oh you were watching my six all right! That’s about all you do any more is watch my six! But yet you go to bed with somebody else!”  
“Watch it Carter – that is none of your business! Do you want to go bringing up who we sleep with? And besides I would be really happy to do something with you besides watch your six but as I kindly reminded you before – you are really quick to remind me that I am your CO. Unless of course you have been mind-stamped – then suddenly you want to act like we are hot lovers!”  
“You have got to be kidding me! Really! You would go there! You know neither of us knew we were not who they portrayed us to be! I thought I was your lover – I am sorry if it just felt so right that I could not deny it!” Sam was barely controlling the shaking going on inside of her but she refused to allow Jack to see it. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep it in the room there, just like WE can’t keep it in the room here!”  
“And as I have said it wasn’t my idea to keep it in the room! I didn’t even have a chance to make a comment about it staying in the room – that was the first thing you throw out there the minute you walked in the room. Well, I am sorry but I don’t stand between anyone and what they really want in life and it’s plain to see you don’t want me!”  
“How the hell would you know – you never took the time to ask me what I wanted, if I wanted you! It was you who thought I was only using you as an excuse!”  
“Where do you keep getting that from! I have never told you that! You have said that to me twice and I am as dumb founded now as I was back at O’Malley’s. Carter I have never told you that I did not want you in my life!”  
Daniel was looking back and forth from Sam to Jack – worried about where this was going to end up at. Teal’c acted as if he were watching a movie and was anticipating a very romantic end. What bothered all of them, especially Sam was the fact that the alcohol was gone but the hurt and tears were not and as much as she tried to hide them – the tears were falling. Jack had seen them and he wanted nothing more than to pull her in his arms and comfort her as he had so many times before. But this time he was not so sure she would welcome the comfort from him.  
Jack shook his head. “Damn, what had happened between them – one minute they are together as close as they can without causing looks and questions and the next minute it’s as if they are strangers. He didn’t even know if he could comfort someone he had been comforting for seven years! This was bullshit!”  
Before Sam knew what had happened Jack had pulled her up against him. She fought at first but the comfort that his arms and the warmth it brought when she was squeezed up against him, made her attempts a little less demanding. She was tired of this fight with him. Although it had not been voiced out loud very often, it was something that was constantly on their minds.  
Sam just did not understand. “Why did they have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t one of them admit that they were willing to give it all up to be with each other. Because of the damn world!”  
Sam knew that she nor Jack either one would give up their position as long as there were things out there that wanted to destroy their way of life, destroy their world. Jack felt Sam as she started to relax and it just felt so right – having her here in his arms like this. Why could they not have this? Why was it so wrong for them to be together? Hell, they were already in love with each other – if they were going to show favoritism – it would have already happened. But Jack was a smart man – a man that knew life was not fair – life was never fair and it never would be.  
But Jack also did not mind pretending. As long as she stood here and let him hold her they could pretend. They could pretend that everything was right and good in their world and they could be together every morning and every night. They could pretend that they were married and living at his cabin away from all that would tear them apart. They could pretend as long as they forgot who they were and how they had met to begin with.  
“See! See! This is what I am trying to tell everyone! You cannot keep tearing into each other when you both know you love each other!”  
And just that quick the spell was broken. Sam pulled from Jack and Jack let her go. The realization of their relationship came crashing down on them. Before Daniel knew what had happened Teal’c was up and had swatted him in the back of the head. When Daniel turned to look at him, he saw nothing but disappointment in Teal’c’s eyes and he knew he had allowed something to pass that may have helped his friends.  
Thor had watched and heard the whole exchange and Thor – well Thor was not quite sure what to make of the situation but he did have an idea now as to why he may have been summoned here by Daniel Jackson. He had known all along that O’Neill and Colonel Carter had feelings for each other. He knew from the ability each time he had to beam them out of trouble how their hearts raced until the other one was safe that there was something more between these two then between the others.  
Thor knew that all four of them worried about each other, but there was just something unique about the feelings O’Neill and Colonel Carter had. He had watched the feelings grow and where his species would become joined – these two did not. He understood. He knew things about O’Neill that had been revealed when he had to put him in the ships computer to keep him alive. He received information that O’Neill would have preferred for no one to know but that could not be helped. But maybe with this situation he could help.  
“Look guys, you have got to do something about this. You cannot keep allowing things to keep you apart from each other. If you do you will soon grow very bitter and hate will have taken root where love is now. I know it will be hard but that is why I have asked Thor here. Maybe there is a way you can be together.”  
“Daniel, you know I cannot retire. I have tried too many times and they will not let me. They are too damn stubborn and too selfish to care about anyone else!”  
Sam looked at Jack with surprise covering her face. Soon the surprise changed to admiration and then to pure love. So, he had tried to make something of this mess they were in but the ones in control would not allow it.  
“Um, I guess it is time I confess – I too have been trying to do something about the situation. I have asked and General Hammond and I both have sent in documentation asking that I be taking out of the Stargate program and placed in Research & Development at Area 51. But every time we send one, they inform General Hammond that until they can get a scientist with as much knowledge of the Stargate program as I have, then I will stay where I am at (Sam looked over at Jack) I have tried Sir! But as you said, they are too stubborn to let me go.”  
“Wait, I have access to every personnel file on the base yet I have not seen these requests. Why not?”  
“Because I asked General Hammond to keep them in his files because I did not want you to be disappointed when it did not work. But my greatest fear was that you would tell me that I was too important to move – and then I would have known that you did not feel the same way.”  
“Oh Samantha, why do you doubt how I feel about you? Have I ever given you any reason to think I did not feel the same towards you that you do for me? When have I made you feel that way?”  
“O’Neill, there is something you must see and maybe you will understand the reason Colonel Carter feels the way she does. Colonel Carter I hope I do not cause you discomfort but he must be shown in order for him to understand and then there is something that you must be shown also.”  
Before Jack, Sam, Teal’c and Daniel knew what was happening – Thor had turned Jack’s television into a device that seemed to be filtering straight into Sam’s memories. There she was, sitting on the floor of the cargo bay on the Prometheus. Jack actually edged forward when he saw how pale and tired she was, his heart hurting just as it was the day they had realized that she was lost.


	4. Hidden Hurts

Jack watched the video on his television as if he was watching a movie that had been made and was a greatest hits picture. He watched Sam as she slid down onto the floor, holding her head where she had slammed it against the metal wall in the control room. He saw her pale color, and wondered just how wrong had he been when he had thought she was dead or close to it. When he saw the screen change to show her looking at someone in the shadows, he jumped back – unprepared to see himself standing there on the ship.  
Sam had slipped out of the center of the living room and over to Jack’s couch. She had her elbows on her knees and her face down on her hands, afraid of what was going to be heard and seen of her memories. She did not care if Jack saw it at this point. After all, would it change what he had said to her. He obviously felt that way or her subconscious would not have picked up on it. She knew Jack too well.   
Problem was, neither of them knew each other as well as they thought they did. Jack thought he knew Sam inside and out and assumed that she would be happier with a man more fit and more able to give her a fairy tale life. Sam thought she knew Jack well enough to think that he would think himself too old for her and would try to hide away from what she wanted. While they were thinking that they knew each other – they were slipping further and further from the truth. What they did not see was what everyone else did see – they were madly in love with each other, would give their lives for the other one and just wanted to spend eternity with each other. Everyone else knew that Jack and Sam just wanted to be happy. Jack and Sam spent too much time trying to make the other one happy by giving them something they did not want.  
“I was wondering when you were going to show up, Sir.”  
“Samantha, I am a figment of your imagination and yet you still call me Sir?”  
Jack listened to the whole conversation playing out of Sam’s subconscious mind and could not believe the words he told her. He was a safe bet – that was true but she had assumed he meant it in a different way. Damn, how screwed up could one sentence become. The screen went blank on the television and Jack was on the couch next to Sam when she lifted her head. He turned her face to look her directly in the eyes. What he had to tell her, he wanted to make damn sure she processed this correctly. When he looked her in the eyes, however, the main thing he saw was the hurt that the conversation had caused to bring back up again.  
“Samantha Carter, for you to be one of the world’s brainiest women, you can sure be dumb sometimes! How in the hell did you get “I am a safe bet” into you using me to keep from falling in love with someone else because you could not have me? Did you even pay attention to the last thing I said to you? Did it even dawn on you that I was telling you I would wait forever for you. When I said ‘I would always be there for you’, I wasn’t saying for you to go get your ass hooked up with somebody else, I was telling you that I was willing to wait forever for you and I to be able to be together. I was saying that I would always be a safe bet because I would never love anyone else as much as I love you.”  
Jack reached up and wiped the tear from Sam’s check that she had allowed to slip out of her eye, and he heard the intake of breath. God how he loved this crazy woman! When would the world finally stop spinning so they could be together? Jack watched her eyes and he realized he also had a confession that she needed to see. She needed to realize just how much she did mean to him. He could just come out and tell her but what fun was that. Jack looked over at Thor and could not help but smile – yeah this would be so much better!  
“Thor my man I need you to do something for me now. There is something that Carter needs to see and you can let her see it. I know you got the memory, no doubt about that, not as many times as my head has been sucked clean by you and your ship. I mean if you have Carter’s and as far as I know her head has never had to be sucked clean by you.”  
“O’Neill, I did have to take apart some of Colonel Carter’s memories. When she was captured by Fifth, I helped clean some things from her so that he would not be able to use you against her. It just seemed that she would accept you and her together faster than she would have her life with an imaginary Pete Shanahan. So, I took you from her while she was with him.”  
“Ok – I guess that makes sense.”  
“Actually Sir it does. If you take what memories I have of you and what memories I have of me and Pete, then Thor would have sliced through….”  
“Carter, no techno babble right now please!”  
Jack smiled when he heard Sam giggle. Such a beautiful sound, a sound that caused more than just happiness to cover his soul.  
“I told you a long time ago – No giggling!”  
Sam stopped giggling but a smile that caused Jack’s heart to stop lit her face.  
By this time, Thor had started another memory using Jack’s television and everyone in the room seemed to hear Teal’c groan when the table of stones appeared on the screen. Sam and Daniel watched with enthusiasm as Teal’c and Jack was left helpless time and again through time loop after time loop. They became enthused when Jack and Teal’c stopped worrying so much about the translation and started having fun – just because Daniel made the comment that “knowing time would repeat again and start over”.  
Sam became engrossed in the screen the first time she heard Jack inform General Hammond that he was handing in his resignation papers to do this and the catcalls that came from Daniel were almost deafening when Jack tipped Sam down and planted a kiss right on her lips. The next time loop installed a little more than just papers and a kiss.   
There was a date between Jack and Sam at a nice Italian restaurant where he showed her the engagement ring he planned to put on her finger that afternoon when he gave his papers to General Hammond. The next time loop included a dinner date, a ring, the handing over of resignation papers, and shopping for a dress, together. Another time loop included going to the cabin – the four of them- for a day of fishing and cooking out, laughter and fun. The last time loop included a quiet night alone with just Sam and Jack, at his cabin. A candle light dinner and wine, a nice bubble bath together and laying by the fireplace expressing their love for each other.  
The television went black and the room was deathly quiet. When Sam looked around she realized that she and Jack were the only ones left in the room. She looked at him, saw the hurt shining through the tears in his eyes. Not hurt caused by her, not hurt caused by the hopes and dreams he had for them. Instead it was hurt caused by a relentless government that cared only about their own selfish needs. Knowing how much he had hoped they would be together by now, and knowing that all this time he had loved her, wanted her for his own. The times that he had gone to General Hammond and tried to retire or resign. To be reassigned somewhere else. Yet, all he could do – all they could do was to keep working together and keep pushing the love away until the hurt was suffocating them and the anger took over.   
“Oh God, Jack! I am so sorry!!”  
Jack looked over at Sam and before he knew it, she was in his arms. They held each other and cried, letting out the hurt that they had both held in for so long. Jack understood one thing and one thing only. This had to stop! They had saved the scrawny, sorry two bit asses at the Pentagon so many times and yet they could not get the one thing that would make their lives a little more livable. Well, it was time for that to change – and change it he would be doing.  
However, Sam had other things on her mind besides a selfish government. The candlelight dinner and the fireplace scene had caused feelings to erupt in her stomach that she had tried to hide for a long time. Feelings she had never gotten when she was with Pete. Feelings she wanted to put to test and Sam could not help but hope that Jack was feeling the same way at this very moment.  
Jack felt the mood change in Sam and he knew they were both on dangerous ground. If they gave into the mood that was now in them and in the room, they would not be able to persuade the right people that they were not guilty of fraternizing when they did make their appeal together. Yet, did he want to wait? Was he not tired of waiting just as much as she was? They had given so much and received nothing in return.   
Jack knew that was not what his career was about. He did not go into the service to get rewards or extra bonuses for doing the right thing. And yet, they were often told so many times by the President that all they had to do was ask for anything and it would be theirs. Well the one thing they wanted was the one thing that everyone seemed to deny them. And even though Thor had showed all this to each of them, did it change anything? All it had done was open wounds that they had tried to close. The government still was not going to allow them to be together but maybe one night together could soften the blow and make waiting a little more bearable.  
Jack felt Sam’s lips as they traveled across his chest. He had forgotten until this moment that he had been in the process of removing his shirt in the hallway when Sam had run into him. Standing here in front of her in an open button shirt had never even crossed his mind and it had not Sam’s either until this very moment. The warmth her lips were leaving on him as they traveled across his skin was causing everything to heat up and Jack knew it would not be long before she would not be the only one with traveling lips.   
“Sam, are you sure you want to do this? I will not stop you or myself if you want us to cross this line. But you must be sure. No regrets? No matter what may come of this, we cannot allow room for regrets.”  
“No regrets, Jack, no regrets – not tonight, not tomorrow – not ever. No regrets. Now shut up and kiss me!”  
Jack considered Sam’s eyes and was amazed at the dark blue that shone back at him. He grabbed her close and kissed her, tipping her down as he did so, causing her to giggle in response.  
“I told you, Colonel Carter, no giggling!”  
“Yes sir General O’Neill, Sir!”  
The growl that erupted from Jack’s throat caused Sam to shiver in his arms and he kissed her again, the kiss deepening this time until his tongue fought against her lips for entrance. When she allowed him in, the two tongues danced together like flames from a candle and the fire in their bodies heightened even more.   
Hands begin running over shoulders and backs, tantalizing the skin with the touch. Fingers traced edges of breasts while other fingers played with little hairs at the nape of the neck, causing breathing to become even more erratic. Clothes soon became scattered across the floor, leaving her in nothing but her lingerie.   
Jack stepped back from Sam before his pants was the next item of clothing on the floor and stood amazed at the beautiful picture in front of him. God, she was stunning – the eighth wonder of the world did not even cover what she was this moment standing in his house, hair tousled in nothing but a sports bra and white panties on. The lingerie was nothing extravagant – it was service issue. But right now, at this very moment it was the most beautiful clothing he had seen on a woman.   
“Jack, please don’t stop now.”  
The words were barely audible but Jack heard them as if they were yelled from the com at the base. He reached over and took Sam’s hand and lead her down the hall towards his bedroom. It may not be right; it may be breaking all the rules crossing this line. But they had broken rules before to save the world -now they were breaking the rules to save their hearts.  
`


	5. True Love & a half baked plan!

Sam followed Jack down the hall and into his bedroom. She was fine until they reached the bed and then Jack could feel the apprehension in her body. She was still wanting what he was wanting but making love for the first time with someone you would give your life for – it made you realize just how special the moment was.  
Jack looked at her, saw her face and felt her breathing. God, she was so beautiful and as hard as it was if now that they had gotten here to this point if she wanted to stop – he would. He loved her that much but he soon realized he did not have that to worry about. Sam’s hands were around his neck and pulling his head down towards hers. When their lips touched again, it was as if the fire had gasoline poured on it and the burning went all the way through their souls.   
Jack pushed against Sam’s body until he felt her knees hit the side of his bed and then he lifted her and laid her across it. He gently laid beside her, watching her eyes as they closed in anticipation of what was coming. When his hand touched her bare stomach, he could feel the ripples of desire going through her and when he put his lips against her ear and whispered sweet words to her, she squirmed against the bed trying to find relief. She was hot and she was ready. But this was a night Jack would remember for the rest of his life. There was no way it was going to go fast if he had his way about it.  
He started with her face, kissing every piece of flesh he could. Her eyelids, lips, checks, even the tip of her nose which caused her to giggle. He pulled back and looked at her and she tried to stifle the giggle but he could tell she was nervous. They wanted this so much but in the back of their minds they were so afraid that something was going to happen before they could finally reach the place their bodies and their hearts long to be.   
“Samantha, giggling – really. I did not realize how much you loved to giggle. Do you know what it does to me to hear that music coming from you? It makes me feel like everything is alright with the world and we are finally together for ever. That giggle you have gives me hope but it also ignites a fire within me that makes me want to dominate you in a way that will have you squirming on my bed worse then you already are!”  
Sam looked at Jack and he saw the desire double in her eyes as they turned from sky blue to midnight in just a few seconds. Hmm so dominating her in the bedroom was not something she was against but he would save that for another night. Tonight, was going to be nothing but pure love making. Learning her body and allowing her to learn his.   
He bent back down and kissed her lips, tenderly at first but the pressure increased and soon his tongue was once more fighting for entrance into her mouth. When she opened her mouth, her teeth scraped against his tongue as it ventured in and she heard the growl that came from him, causing her to raise her hips from the bed.   
Jack allowed his tongue to play with hers while his hand was busy traveling down her body. When he came to her bra, he pulled it up over her breast and caressed the nipple with the pad of his calloused fingers. She jerked from the contact and he held onto her shoulders as his hand continued to caress one breast and then the other. By this time his mouth had traveled from her lips to her throat and her pulse point was becoming a very nice attraction to him.   
Sam could not believe the feelings he was erupting inside of her. Holy Hannah it was not like she was a virgin – she had had sex before but for some reason this seemed all brand new. Perhaps it was the simple fact that this time it was a man giving instead of just taking. Sam did not know if she could last long enough by the time he would finally join them together if he did not soon get there. It was as if she were coiled like a spring and would snap at any minute.  
But Jack had no intention of hurrying. With his lips now traveling down past her neck to her chest, his hand helped her sit up long enough for him to remove the bra from her body and he sat there, mesmerized by the beauty of her breast. Some men were into small breast that barely showed anything but a nipple while others had to have them pouring over the top of any shirt the lady were. Thankfully, Sam’s was just the right size to fit into his mouth and when he did just that – he thought she was going to crawl completely out from under his mouth.  
Jack leaned up and looked at her and could not help the grin that covered his face. Sam was already close to having her first orgasm and he had not even gotten to her most treasured possession yet. He bent back down and as his mouth left her enlarged nipples, he soon delved his tongue into her belly button. He was closer to where he wanted and soon his hands were sliding her panties down her legs and onto the floor. Jack watched as his hands rubbed her inner thighs, how she tried to maneuver herself so that his hand touched where she needed him at the most but he was not going to give in yet.   
Jack positioned himself so that he was in between Sam’s legs. He continued to kiss her, her hips and thighs were next and just as she thought he was going to give her what she needed, he bypassed her hidden fruit to continue down her leg, caressing and kissing until he started back up again. This time as he reached her womanhood, Sam felt his fingers opening her up and as his thumb brushed against her bundle of nerves she literally bucked as she felt the first wave of an orgasm wash over her.  
Jack was amazed – he knew how built up he had become and the longer it seemed he had to do without her the more frustrated he became – but to have an orgasm just from touching – he could not help it when a little bit of pride seem to envelope him. She was his – there was no doubt about that now. When Sam’s hips touched the mattress again, Jack went in for desert. Sam was totally shocked. She had been with three men – and not the first one had lavished over her as Jack was doing now. She knew one thing – if he did not hurry up and enter her there was going to be nothing left of her but a puddle.  
Jack watched Sam as her eyes closed in complete surrender when his tongue swiped across her clit. He was taken back by the taste of her – not too tangy, actually very enjoyable and he continued to take the flat of his tongue from the bottom of her to the top and lick most precisely at the center of her. Jack was having a field day but he knew that Sam would soon become too sensitive and he did not want that to happen. When he felt her tightening up to come again, he also felt her trying to move away from him and he knew it was time.   
Carefully Jack lifted his body so that he lay with his elbows on each side of her head. He looked into her eyes and as she opened them, he asked her with his if she was ready. As she nodded her head in response, she felt him enter her and suddenly she knew what she had been missing since becoming a woman. He fit into her just right, no room at all on either side, filling her but not hurting her. Jack watched her as her eyes widen and he himself was shocked at how right this felt. They fit together perfectly, and yet in the back of his mind he knew they would.  
When Sam finally begin moving, Jack obliged her and together they set a rhythm that had them dancing the dance that men and women have danced for generations. Every time Sam would try to speed things up Jack would slow her down. They would have a chance to be fast and reckless but not this time – this was a time for slow lovemaking and he was going to make sure she enjoyed it. He heard Sam groan when he slowed her down the second time and he kissed her softly and whispered words to her that lassoed around her heart and left her breathless.   
Before long, Jack could no longer control the movements and he and Sam both were losing control. He felt her as she begins to tighten around him and he knew she was ready but it seemed she was holding back, maybe for him.   
“Samantha, let go babe – I am right there with you.”  
“Jack come in me – don’t pull out, please.”  
Jack understood then. Sam was afraid that since they were not married and should not even be doing this that he would pull out to make sure she was safe from getting pregnant. The thought had crossed his mind. He looked down at her and saw her eyes, the blue watering from unshed tears and he understood. If they were never able to have this again, at least she would have the knowledge of knowing a piece of him was in her for a while – whether it produced into something more meaningful or not.  
With that knowledge, it was out of his and her hands before they knew it. Sam gave in and Jack followed close behind. Both feeling as if they had left the universe and traveled further than even the gate had ever taken them. The feeling was so beautiful. It felt as if a piece of their hearts were burnt together and pushed into each other to stay forever.  
Jack was the first to come around, realizing that he had lost consciousness shocked him. Even as much as he loved Sara, he had never lost it that much when he had had an explosive orgasm. He fell to the side of Sam and pulled her to him, watching her as she slowly opened her eyes. When she looked at him, he saw the tears running down her checks and was surprised when she took her hand and wiped the tears from his own face. Jack pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head. When she whispered the words “I love you” to him, he felt as if his chest was going to explode from the magnitude of what those three words meant to him.   
“Oh Samantha, I have loved you since the day I saw you fight a warrior to the ground and hold a knife to his throat. I liked you since the day you walked into the briefing room and made it plain you could do anything I could do. I will always love you- no matter what may happen tomorrow – I will always love you and I promise you this. I will fight for our love – you have my word as a man and a soldier on that one. No more will we be held apart from each other.”  
When he had finished speaking he looked back down at her and had to wonder at which part would he have to repeat. Sam had given into the peaceful feeling that surrounded them and laid there sleeping in his arms. Jack reached down and grabbed the comforter from the foot of the bed and covered them both, pulling Sam so close to him that someone looking at the two would think they were joined together permanently – and in Jack’s mind and heart they were.  
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJJSJSJJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJJSJSJSSJSJJSJSSJSJSJSJSS  
Thor listened to Daniel and tried to understand what he was saying. Yes, he understood that O’Neill and Colonel Carter loved each other. Yes, he understood that if O’Neill and Colonel Carter remained in the Air Force they could not have a relationship -not the kind they wanted. Yes, he understood that the government of Earth had refused the request for O’Neill to retire or for Colonel Carter to be moved out of O’Neill’s command. But what did Daniel Jackson expect him to do.  
“Well, you see Thor, what I thought was that maybe you could convince the government of our world that it would be in their best interest to allow Jack to either retire, or allow Sam to move or allow Sam to retire from the Air Force and become a civilian contractor – that way she would still be able to oversee the gate but not be under Jacks command.”  
“And how does he convince them that it would be in their best interest, Daniel Jackson?”  
Teal’c looked at Daniel as he asked this question. He wanted Jack and Sam together as bad as Daniel did but he knew that if Jack or Sam either one knew that by them being together it may cause the earth not to have as much protection as she needed – they would not go for it. Just what was Daniel Jackson suggesting that Thor do?  
“I don’t know Teal’c – what do you suggest? I mean I am not the only one that wants to see them happy – but we both know that once they wake up in the morning and realize what they have done – they are going to feel they have let the Air Force and Earth down and we cannot allow that to happen. I mean at this point – I would rather see them put on some deserted planet that we knew was safe for them then to see them tear their hearts out again!”  
“Well, Daniel Jackson I can arrange that. Then we will talk about what needs to be done to ensure when they do come back to Earth they can be one and propagate.”  
“What do you mean – you can arrange that?”  
Teal’c asked the question but feared he knew the answer already. Sure enough, as he and Daniel stood there they watched a beam of light shine in the window of Jack’s bedroom and then it was gone. Daniel looked at Teal’c and then at Thor.  
“I just hope you made them very comfortable wherever you sent them.”  
“I hope you plan to be here to catch the repercussions when O’Neill and Colonel Carter find their way back to their world. I do not plan to be held accountable for you Daniel Jackson nor for you Thor.”  
With that remark, Daniel and Thor watched Teal’c as he walked back into Jack’s house, then they looked at each other and neither one could not admit to themselves or each other that they regretted what they had done.  
SJSJSJSJJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSSJS  
Jack felt the rays of the sun as it warmed his skin. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw made him catch his breath. So, it hadn’t been a dream – she was here with him. She looked more beautiful in the morning light then she had last night when he had laid her on his bed. Jack leaned over and kissed her shoulder where the sunbeam left a warm glow on her skin.   
Wait a minute. He should not be seeing the sun come up in his bedroom. Not in Colorado. His house was not situated that way – now if they were at the cabin in Minnesota, then yes he would see the sun rising – that was why he had taken the old living room and made it his bedroom. Then Jack looked more closely at the room he was in. How the hell did he get from his bedroom in Colorado to his bedroom in Minnesota?  
He pulled the covers off and grabbed a pair of sweat pants from off the chair by his bed. He was afraid before this day was over with he was going to kill one very short gray alien and one very noisy archeologist. When he walked outside Jack had expected to see the lake that he loved to go “fishing” at but it was not there. As a matter of fact, nothing outside his cabin looked anything like his yard did. Just then he heard an intake of breath behind him. When he turned around, he saw Sam standing there in his t-shirt and for a moment he was caught off guard. Then he noticed she was looking up at the sky and he saw it too. And for as long as he could remember – Earth had never had two suns.   
“Thor!, Daniel!! If this is your idea of a plan – just know that you are both dead when I get my hands on you!!!” Jack yelled the words but in the back of his mind he had a feeling it would do no good


	6. Misunderstanding

“Sir, um I don’t know where we are but we are definitely not still on Earth. If I had some equipment I could figure out how far we are from Earth. We need to figure out where the Stargate is. Sir?”   
Sam watched Jack as he tore into the closet in his bedroom trying to find something other than civilian clothes to put on. She had tried not say anything – she could see he was beyond mad but he had been stuck in the closet now for almost ten minutes. If she had to be honest, she kind of liked the idea of being stranded on a planet where no one knew who they were. She was not worried about whether or not they were safe – Thor would not have put them somewhere that was not safe. And she knew this had Thor and Daniel written all over it.  
“Sir did you hear me?”  
Sam could not help but feel as if Jack was trying to avoid her. Did he think she has something to do with this?  
“Damn Carter – I heard you- And of course I know we are not on Earth anymore – I’m not that stupid! Can you give me a minute please, you are standing there in nothing but my long black t-shirt and calling me sir – why do you think I haven’t brought my head out of the closet!”   
Sam had not been expecting the sharp retort and before the meaning of the words registered in her mind, she snapped back.  
“Well Jack I am sorry! I don’t have anything else to wear, it wasn’t my idea for you to strip me in your living room in another house on another planet!”  
“Just what are you implying?! Are you really thinking I had something to do with this? Come on Carter you know I am not that smart! I mean I didn’t even realize we weren’t on Earth, even though I did see two suns shining in the sky! Now you on the other hand…”  
“And so what if I did! Are you that against spending time with me? I thought you enjoyed last night as much as I did – or were you just trying to figure out if I was worth the risk?!”  
“Really – do you really think that is what I was doing? Tell me Carter, was your agenda the same thing? Just one question – did I pass the test or not?”  
“You need to understand something, baby; I don’t dish out unless it’s for keeps! I just thought this one was, but obviously, you feel no different towards me than the other two did!”  
Before Sam could catch her breath, she was pushed against the bedroom wall and Jack was completely against her. There was not even room for the light from the window to squeeze between them. Sam had not even seen him move and yet here he was staring at her, a look of anger mixed with hurt all over his face. Sam turned her face to keep Jack from seeing her. He may have pissed her off but the last thing he was going to do was see the tears in her eyes. She hated the fact that she could not stop them from falling.  
Jack could not believe that she had compared him to the two idiots that had been in her life before. Better yet, he could not believe that she had compared what they had last night to what those two asses may have attempted to give her. He took his hand and roughly turned her face towards him, what he had to say he wanted to make damn sure she heard him. The words should have jammed in his throat when he saw the tears but he was so mad right now that there was no stopping him.  
“Samantha, do you believe that? Do you really believe that I would think no more of you then to bed you for a one-night stand? I don’t “dish out” either, and once I do take you to bed and wake up with you the next morning than you need to realize – you are not going anywhere. I may do one-night stands but I damn sure don’t wake up with them the next morning and they damn sure don’t sleep in my bed!”  
“Oh and what makes you think I want to stay with you? I am not easy, ya know!”  
Jack heard her comment and before Sam knew it, he rubbed his body completely up against her. Having on nothing but a t-shirt did little to cover up the fact that Jack was very excited and before Sam knew what was happening, her nipples responded to the onslaught of his chest hair and her legs automatically opened when his manhood that was straining against his jogging pants rubbed against her thigh. His face was extremely close to hers and she felt more than heard his words as he whispered them to her through clinched teeth.  
“It’s not called being easy, my love. It’s called desire and you want me as much as I want you! I don’t mind admitting that I love you, so get that through your head. Once I admit I love someone -they don’t walk away from me without a damn good reason!”  
Sam tried to push up against Jack to free herself but she did not realize just what a mistake that was. Before she knew it, Jack had her by both of her wrists with one hand and had her arms above her head. His mouth had moved from her ear to find her pulse point on her neck and Sam could not hold back the moan that escaped her lips.   
Jack felt the resistance slowly leaving her body and he took his other hand and slipped it under the t-shirt she had on. When his calloused finger brushed against her hardened nipple, Jack felt Sam as her hips begin to grind against him. Taking his hand from her wrists, he reached down and lifted her knee until her leg rested against his hip and her foot dug into his backside.   
Sam, realizing that her hands were free, wanted to push Jack away, but her body deceived her just as her heart had and before she knew it her hands were rubbing his back and feeling the muscles ripple under her touch, which caused her to pull him even closer to her if that was even possible - using her foot as leverage.  
Jack realized this was going further then he had anticipated when he had gotten mad at her. The anger now turned to pure lust and there was no way they were getting out of this without fulfilling both of their wants. Taking his hand from her leg, he placed his fingers between her thighs and he could not help the groan that rumbled from him when he realized just how wet she was. Moving his jogging pants down with one swift move and sliding his hips just right, he and Sam both vocalized the pleasure they felt when his hardened member slipped into her.  
Sam, feeling the need for more of him lifted her other leg and before Jack realized it, she had straddled him and was riding him with pure desire rushing through her veins like blood. He moved them from the wall and collapsed on the bed, catching himself before he crashed down on top of her. This was not a slow love making they were experiencing; this was pure hot sex from years of being denied what they wanted and who they needed to fulfill that want.  
Sam felt Jack as he lifted one of her legs and placed it over his shoulder and the move caused a penetration like she had never experienced before. She felt every time he pushed in all the way and rubbed against her, hitting a certain spot and before she could even say anything, she was coming, holding on to him as tight as possible. Jack was not far behind her, having realized his mistake and not being able to slow down. When Sam begin convulsing around him there was no stopping and they both rode the waves of pure exotic pleasure. When they had both come down from their high, Jack rolled off of Sam and pulled her to him. Catching her chin in his hands, he brought her lips down to his and took pleasure from the kiss that he took from her. Laying his head back on the pillow -he looked at her, love shining from her eyes and he knew they matched his own but there was something she still needed to understand and now was as good a time as any for him to make his point.  
“Samantha – As I told you before I love you. The first time I saw you, you crawled under my skin and you have never left me. I will always love you. But there is something you need to know. I may allow things to go and some may even call me soft but I don’t play with anyone’s heart and I damn sure don’t let them play with mine.”  
Making sure she was still against him, Jack rolled over, pinning Sam under him and with his face directly in hers he finished his statement.   
“Don’t you ever make the mistake of comparing me with someone else you have been with. Especially when I know for a fact that they treated you like shit. I don’t appreciate that and it won’t be tolerated. You and I are together – no one else is in this relationship – not Sara, not Pete and damn sure not that lunatic Hanson.”  
Sam felt the tension as it eased out of Jack and heard his voice as it changed.   
“Now I do owe you an apology. I did not mean to snap at you earlier nor did I mean the things I threw back at you, but we were stranded on a planet and I know just as good as I know that Homer Simpson is not real that the nosy archeologist and that little 3-foot grey alien had to do this. And knowing Thor I feel sure that he would not have planted us somewhere that was not safe. Which makes my position even more compromising. In the back of mind, I don’t want to leave here but I know that is not possible. We cannot leave Earth unprotected no more now than we could before we got together and that pisses me off.”  
Jack took his hand and rubbed Sam’s face.  
“Knowing that I could have you on this planet all to myself and never have to worry about rules or regulations again is so very tempting but you know as well as I do that neither of us would be happy about it for long.”  
Sam reached up and caressed Jack’s check. She knew he was right and she also knew that she had lashed out with the first thing that had come to mind. She knew deep inside of her that he was different than the other two men she had been with. And sadly, she knew he was also right about the planet they were on. It still surprised her at how easy he could read her – he knew that she had been thinking the same thing – what was wrong with them hiding away from the world for a little while. But like him – she knew there was no way she would leave Earth – her family, and friends knowing that something might happen to them at any time.  
Jack rolled back over and laid on the bed for a second, then kissing Sam on the forehead sat up and looked over at the closet. He turned back and looked at Sam with a crooked smile on his face.  
“Now do you think it might be possible for me to go see if I can dig you out something to put on that might not cause us to be stopping every ten minutes while we search this planet?”  
“Yes’s…”  
“Sam, don’t say it or I swear we won’t be getting out of this bed today and I need to take a shower and eat.”  
Jack looked at Sam and wiggled his eyebrows. With a twinkle in his eye, he watched Sam as he stood up from the side of the bed.  
“Although you could come take a shower with me and I know something really nice we could do while in there. It may even satisfy my craving for actual food.”  
Jack laughed as a pillow came flying through the air. It landed at his feet as he began his search again through the closet. He had just reached for the last pair of hanging BDU’s that he had when a light shone brightly in the bedroom. Sam let out a shriek and grabbed the covers just in time to see Thor standing in the bedroom doorway.   
“Oh for crying out loud! Don’t you people know anything about privacy!”  
Jack grinned when he heard his comment coming from Sam’s mouth.   
“I am sorry O’Neill, Colonel Carter. But I came as soon as I could. I wanted to assure you that you are safe here for the time until Daniel Jackson and I can assess the situation back on your planet and come up with a feasible plan.”  
“Thor buddy – you really need to learn to announce yourself before just popping in on someone. And what do you mean you and Danny – come up with a plan. You have to send Carter and I back. We cannot just forget about our home and our friends.”  
“O’Neill, I would not have done that to you. I would not leave Earth in jeopardy while I put you and Colonel Carter somewhere else. Until we can come up with a solution that allows you and Colonel Carter to be together and have the joy I know you both should have and propagate other little O’Neill’s – I have suspended time on Earth.”  
Jack looked as if his eyes were going to fall out of his face. He no longer cared that he was standing there in front of a three-foot alien naked, he was trying to grasp what he had just been told. However, before he could say a word, he heard Sam’s gasp. He turned to look at her and saw the pale look on her face, almost white would be a better definition.  
“Sam, are you ok?”  
“Um, sure, I guess – I was thinking about what Thor just said…”  
“I know but we will figure this out – he will start time back up and we will go back to the planet – do not worry.”  
“Jack that’s not what I was talking about – did you not hear what else he said?”  
Jack looked at Sam, a confused look on his face.  
“He said we were going to produce little O’Neill’s! Jack what if he knows something already that we do not know! What if I am already ‘propagated’ as he calls it?”  
Jack looked at Sam and then at Thor and just when the realization dawned on him of what was being said – the next comment caused him to sit straight down on the floor.  
“Surely you misunderstood him, Sam. Thor what exactly are you saying?”  
“I feel that Colonel Carter is correct. You, O’Neill and Carter, have already produced a new life being.”


	7. Confusion

Chapter 7 Confusion

Jack looked back and forth from Thor to Carter. Was he hearing this right? Was there a baby on the way? Hell, he and Carter just got together. Had made love, what – maybe twice, three times at the most. There was no way they could have already produced a child. It took him and Sara almost four years to have one. Although the doctor did tell them that him being in the desert so much had to do with that. But, my god, look at the different climate’s he and Carter had been through -to be sure that would make a difference also.  
Jack looked back at Carter and saw the look of not only puzzlement but fear written all over her face. He knew exactly what she was thinking. It was bad enough that they had broken the rules and gotten together but to face court-martialed and be pregnant. Her whole career was gone and it only took him 24 hours to achieve it. ‘Damn, why couldn’t you keep your damn hands off of her like you had for the past 8 years? Daniel just couldn’t be happy until he pushed and pushed – why couldn’t things have stayed the way they had been?’ Jack thought to himself. His career he didn’t give a crap about – but Carter – the world could do without him but it would not survive without her brain.’  
Sam watched Jack – watched the different feelings flit across his face. What was he thinking? Was he mad because they may be having a child together? She had not even considered how he would feel if that was to happen. How did a person handle having another child after losing one? And how was she even pregnant to begin with?   
She had kept up with her shots. Her birth control was up to date. She should not even have to be thinking about this. Her and Janet had gone ahead with the birth control shots even though according to Sam’s records, she was not supposed to be able to get pregnant anyway. That had been something that had taken place when she and Jonas had been together. Something she had hoped she would never have to talk about but it looked as if she just may have to. However, she was not the only one thinking about the situation they were in and the consequences and when she looked again at his face – Jack looked as if he was going to be sick at any moment. Or was it anger?  
Thor watched the two – in amazement more than anything else. He watched the faces of his dearest friends and wondered why it seemed that these Tauri seemed to find despair in happiness. Why were things so complicated for them? It should be their choice to be together, to produce more offspring – to be able to enjoy a life together. Why was a people that pushed so much about people loving each other would work so hard to keep them apart? These two friends of his should have been sharing a life since he first met them, but instead they have had to live with their hearts and souls in pain and fear because they could not be with the one they truly loved!  
“O’Neill, I must get back to my ship. Daniel Jackson and Teal’c are there and we are trying to advise a way to work this out. Earth will stay in a state of stasis until we can achieve something. I know you and Colonel Carter may not want this but this is the only way now.  
Thor then looked over at Sam and back at Jack. Jack knew now what sorrow actually did look like on an Asgard’s face. Was he pitying them because they could not have what they both wanted?   
“I do apologize, my friend if I have caused harm to come between the two of you or for you.”  
With that Thor was gone and the two of them were left staring at each other. Jack stood up from where he had been sitting since the realization had dawned on him that he and Carter may be having a child together. They had to talk through this – and everyone knew how he felt about talking. He had talked more in the last twenty-four hours then he had since Charlie had died. Charlie, god how could he have another kid – he had screwed up royally the first time! He needed some air and quiet, away by himself for a while. Again, the thought crossed his mind that they needed to talk but he really did not think he could talk anymore, right now.   
Sam watched Jack pick up his jogging pants from the side of the bed and put them on. When he started out of the door, she called to him but he did not respond and she watched the door close behind him.   
“God, the thoughts he must be thinking! I cannot even imagine having a child – let alone losing one!” Sam thought to herself. She knew she could not just sit here either and let the thoughts turn in her head or it would cause her to go crazy. The last think they needed was for them to not talk about this and it be something else in between them until they got drunk and it came up. No, this had to be solved now and if it took them going back home to get it done then so be it.   
Sam got up and walked over to Jack’s closet. There had to be something in here she could wear. She pushed the hanging clothes around but could not find anything she could wear. Well, maybe Thor had been smart enough to send his dresser full of clothes, neither of them had thought about looking there earlier -well he had not but as he informed her – he was using the closet as a hiding place. Sam could not help but grin on that thought again.  
Sure enough the dresser was fully stocked with clothes of various choices. Actually – it looked as if some women’s clothing were stuffed in here also – could it be some of Sara’s? Sam chewed on her bottom lip and did not realize she was still standing there until she heard something behind her. She turned around to see Jack standing there.  
“Yes, they were hers and yes if you can wear them, I don’t care if you put them on. I just didn’t think to look in the dresser – I figured it was empty. It will not bother me if you chose something out of there to put on….although  
Jack looked Sam up and down and got a funny look on his face.  
“I don’t think you will be able to wear hers. You are a little fuller in certain places then she is.”  
Sam pulled a pair of jeans out of the drawer and did not even attempt to put them on. Jack was right – there was no way she would get those zipped up. The tops were just as bad -her breast kept the buttons from meeting and it looked like button up tops were the only choice. Jack walked over to the dresser, nudged Sam out of the way with his hip and started to bend over. However, before he did, he reached up with his fingers and tugged Sam’s bottom lip out from her teeth. He shook his head, reached down pulled open the drawer and produced a pair of jogging pants and a jersey that had to belong to him. He tossed them over to her and then went to sit on the couch.  
Sam pulled the jogging pants on and could not help but laugh. The strings to tighten the waistband was almost to her knees so she tied them up in a knot and pulled the green and red jersey over her head. Minnesota Wild – had to be his hockey jersey that he had worn to watch games -and it had been worn a lot. Sam could not help it when she pulled the front up to her nose and took a deep smell. Yep, definitely his, she would know that smell anywhere and suddenly she felt as if she had come home. She did not care what happened when they got back to Earth – she was not giving him up again. They would go through whatever they had to – she had had him and she was not letting him go. Hopefully he felt the same.  
Sam walked into the living room and saw Jack sitting on the sofa, feet propped up on the table in front of him, sipping on a beer. Boy, when Thor does something he really does it. Jack held out his hand and offered her the other bottle he held there. She just happened to noticed that it was water instead of a beer. He was really taking this to heart about her might be pregnant. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sam could not figure out if she wanted to be or not. But one way or the other – she was not losing him.   
“We need to talk.”  
Jack said the words with the authority of someone who knew there was no getting around it and no argument from anyone else. Sam pushed his legs off of the table and when he sat up all the way so she could get by, she surprised him by sitting straddled across his lap instead. He looked at her in his best Teal’c imitation and she could not help but grin that mega white smile that he loved so much.  
“Sam, we are going to talk – nothing else until this is solved.”  
“I know Jack but we should be able to carry on an adult conversation with me sitting in your lap, I mean it isn’t really that hard to concentrate is it?”  
With her last words, Sam moved her pelvis, and her eyes widen. Okay maybe sitting on his lap was not such a great idea after all but before she could move, Jack grabbed her waist and held her still.   
“We can do this, and then we will proceed to eat something – I am starving woman! You took more out of me then being in boot camp did when I was 17.”  
“Jack, what are we going to do? I want to stay here but as we discussed earlier – we know we cannot do that. However, I am not going to lose you again! I will not live another day without you by my side. Now they can do whatever they want to do – I will do whatever I need to do – but we are together now and nothing is going to change that.”  
“Ya think?”  
Jack grinned when Sam slapped him on the shoulder and then he took on a serious look and she knew the hard part was coming up. The reason she wanted to be sitting as close to him as possible. She did not want him to run, and Jack had a way of walking out on a conversation when the words became too much. This conversation he could not do that.  
“Samantha, what if you are pregnant. I mean in all reality – we could go back to Earth and keep our relationship top secret until I got my retirement papers finally processed. I mean I can figure something up on a reason why they would be willing to allow me to retire. But if you are pregnant – there will be no hiding it and I will not allow you to go through that alone.”  
Jack looked at Sam and before she could say anything he cut her off.  
“And before the thought even crosses your mind, yes, I am sticking around if you are pregnant. I want in on everything. I won’t miss this pregnancy the way I had to miss Sara’s when she was expecting Charlie.”   
Sam watched Jack when he tried to swallow the lump that was in his throat and she knew she had to ask him. Hopefully, sitting on him would keep him in one spot.  
“Jack, I did not mean for this to happen. And I don’t even know if Thor is right. But if he is, I am so sorry to cause you more pain and I know me being pregnant with your child is going to bring up some memories that you have tried to bury. I would not hurt you for anything in the world. Please know that I am still on my shots. I am not even supposed to get pregnant! If this is for real, I just don’t know how. But I don’t want to cause you grieve.”  
“Sam, surely you know that no birth control is 100%. I mean you are a genius. You do know that, right?”  
Sam tilted her head down. She had not meant to say that about not being able to get pregnant, it just slipped out. But it was out now and Jack was going to want to know what she had meant by it. Somehow she needed to get the conversation back on him and off of her.  
Jack took his fingers and lifted Sam’s chin. He always knew when she was hiding something and in deep thought on how to keep it hidden. Her face went down to hide her eyes (because he could read her like a book) and her bottom lip went in between her teeth. And there it was. More of a confession of guilt then a Zatarc testing machine.   
“What’s going on, Sam? You want me to talk to you. Okay I will but you will tell me what you are hiding. Why did you say there should be no way for you to be pregnant?”  
Sam went to slide off of Jack’s lap but she felt his hands around her waist getting tighter. When she looked up at him to ask him to let her go, he shook his head and she knew that she would be staying where she was to tell him about the incident. In the back of her mind, she realized at that moment that she was a runner too in some ways. She had never told anyone what had happened that night – not even Jacob. If she had, Jonas would never have made it to Stargate Command. Janet did not even know the whole story. She just knew that Sam had been hurt and she had assumed that it had been done while in the military. Sam did nothing to deter her from that assumption.  
Jack looked at Sam and knew she was scared to death to tell him what he wanted to know and he thought it was going to be hard on him. He had not talked about Charlie’s death since he was buried. When the coffin lowered in the ground, Jack sealed his thoughts up with it. And it had remained closed. He knew and still knows that that was one reason him and Sara had gotten a divorce, his inability to talk about his feelings. But he also knew that was not the only reason and he felt good about this relationship with Sam. So if talking to her would keep their relationship strong – he was willing. But he would ask the same from her.


	8. Sam's Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note: this chapter gets a little dark with abuse - please read with caution. If you want to skip you can - but I do not promise that it does not come up later in the story!

Chapter 8 – Sam’s Confession

Sam took a deep breath and begin talking. There was no need to worry about whether or not he understood her. Sam knew that Jack was a lot smarter than he let people believe and when it came to something as serious as this, he would not play. She did not leave anything out – she told him everything. She could tell he was seething with anger but there was no sense in it. Jonas was gone, he would never hurt another living person again. Knowing that he could hurt her was the real reason she had run from him, and was scared every day after that until she had joined the Stargate program. The day Jonas showed up at Cheyanne Mountain, Sam felt as if her lungs were closing back in on her and she was stuck once again in that tiny room.   
It was hard to keep still and listen, but Jack did. He heard it all. The days and nights of being shoved on the bed, the floor or the couch to have sex when she was not prepared for it. The days of coming home from work and knowing that if he was already there then she would either go to bed hurting or he would be so drunk that he would be passed out on the living room floor and she would tiptoe around the house to keep from waking him. Then it became scary. He had completely lost it and Sam knew then that her life was in danger.   
The day he stood in the kitchen with a gun pointed at her and called Mark. He told him that Sam needed some time away from everyone and everybody – that she was losing it over her mom. Mark agreed to help him write up the submission document that would give her leave. She even heard him ask Jonas did he think she needed to be sent to a hospital but Jonas assured him that he could handle it and she would be alright. Telling him that he could keep Sam out of an institution if she stayed home but if she went on base as messed up as she was, there would be nothing he could do. Mark believed him – after all he knew how messed up the military was when it came to dealing with family, after all look how they had screwed up his family already. Believing that Sam was not in her right mind and that Jonas was the best thing for her, he called.   
Jack remembered reading her file. Remembered seeing where Mark had signed a request for leave for her due to a breakdown because of her mother. He had told them that Sam was suddenly having issues with her mother’s death. So, it was Jonas that had used Mark to call them. The CO would do nothing until he talked to Sam first, so the day he showed up at their house, Jonas stood with a knife in her back, letting her know with no words that she either agreed that she needed the leave or she would die. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sam still believed she could get out of all of this. Sam’s CO signed off on her extended leave “until such time as she was fit to come back”. All Jack could think was that that was one stupid bastard for a CO. If he could not read her eyes and see she was in distress, what the hell was he doing as a commanding officer?  
Then the nightmare became reality and suddenly Sam just knew she would die in that house.  
She had missed her menstrual for almost two months before all this had begun but had not told Jonas this. She had taken a pregnancy test and it was negative – the only thing she could figure was that the stress of her home situation had messed up her cycle. Jonas would not listen to her. He screamed at her that “he didn’t want no little bastard in his house”. Before she knew what had happened he had kicked her right in the lower part of her stomach. The pain was so severe she had thought she was going to die. Sam laid on the floor of the bathroom and cried, holding her stomach and praying that someone, somewhere would come check on her.   
Jonas was really upset now. He did not want her in his sight and that’s when the storage closet came into play. In the daytime, he would lock her up in the storage room to keep her from going anywhere. And at night she would listen to him have sex with other women, leaving Sam tied up and locked in the closet until he was through. Then he would bring her out and make her sleep on the floor. She was dirty and was not worthy of his love anymore – he had informed her. There were times when Jonas would seem to forget about her being tied and locked up and the days would run into each other. On those days’ food was forgotten. Because of the malnutrition, Sam knew she would never be able to have a child. Oh, he never left her in there over 24 hours without letting her out to use the bathroom or give her water – he made it plain he did not want her to die – he just wanted to see her suffer.  
When Sam had finally been able to get away from Jonas, she ran. Per her file, she had requested a change of location – stating that living in that area had caused the memories and the breakdown. Jonas had informed the CO that Sam was a lot better and was good to return to the field after almost six weeks of being gone. Jack found out sitting on the couch – the truth was, Sam had gotten out of her little room and had made it to Colorado Springs, straight to the arms of her godfather.  
How she had gotten out floored Jack and he could not believe it when he finally got her to confess her secret to him. She had been in the closet for almost 26 hours with no food and the water that Jonas for some reason seemed to remember to fill had run out. Scared she was going to die yet praying in the back of her mind that she would, Sam began beating on the closet door. She yelled, cried, prayed and begged for Jonas to let her out – to please let her leave and he would never have to worry about her sorry excuse of a woman ever being around him again. Sam knew it was hopeless – she had done this so often and been ignored that she knew she was just wasting her breath but maybe he would at least let her out to use the bathroom and give her some water. She did not know if it was day or night – if it was day then she was out of luck because he would be at the base. If it was night, he was most likely passed out and would not hear her.  
Before Sam knew what had happened the door opened and Sam scurried to the corner like a frightened mouse, waiting for the kick or hit that always came her way when she disturbed him. However, this time it did not happen. Sam blinked through the bright light and realized the frame standing in the doorway was not Jonas. When the young woman standing there saw her in the corner, she could not believe it. She rushed in to help Sam but Sam not knowing who she was tried to back even further away expecting the worse from the stranger. She finally helped her up and out of the room, tried talking – begging her to go to the hospital but all Sam kept saying was she needed to leave, leave the city – the state. She had to get away from the madman.   
The young lady finally gave in and took Sam to Colorado Springs. She took care of Sam until most of the bruises and cuts were gone and some of the weight was back. Finally, Sam told her where she wanted to go so she put Sam in her car and dropped her off at her godfather’s home. The young woman left and Sam was so grateful to her that even to this day she remembers her name and her looks, right down to the bluish green color of her eyes. Sam did not know if she ever told the police about the woman she found hidden in a storage closet in a beautiful home in the southern part of Wyoming. She did have a feeling that Eve most likely never saw Jonas again and told her friends to stay away also.  
General Hammond did not know the full details of what had happened to Sam. All she would tell him was that she had become depressed when she had broken off the engagement with Jonas and that was why she had lost so much weight. After her full evaluation and physical, Janet told Sam that the chances of her having a child was slim to none – she had been too malnutrition and even with the weight gain, it may not stop the infertility. That, coupled with the miscarriage she had, would make the possibility even slimmer. What miscarriage Sam had wanted to know and Janet had told her that she had had one but since she was not that far along she could have assumed that it was a much heavier cycle and worse pain then usual – most women have them and never know. In the back of her mind, Sam knew then that she had been pregnant the night that Jonas had attacked her.  
Jack watched the different feelings on Sam’s face – anger, despair, hurt, discouragement and finally hope. Then he saw fear – and that look of fear after seeing hope pissed him off as much as all the other looks had earlier. She hit, screamed, got mad and wanted to run, yet he held her – not letting her up. Finally, when she said that she could not help being happy in some small way that he had died the horrible death he had died, Jack held her while she cried.   
Jack wished in some small way that the man was still alive. He wanted to take him and tear him limb from limb. If he had known this, there would have been no way that he would have gotten off by just being thrown through an event horizon. Jack would have tortured him worse than Jack had been tortured in the Iraqi prisons. He was angry – had not been this angry in a long time and he needed something to hurt. When he felt that Sam had calmed down some, he gently lifted her off his lap and sat her on the couch. Taking his hand, he caressed her tear-stained cheek.  
“Samantha, never again will you ever be treated like that. I don’t make promises lightly but I can promise you that I will kill the S.O.B. that will ever lay a hand on you again in any way that I don’t see fit. Now I need to go outside for a minute but I promise I will be back to talk to you.”  
Jack started towards the front door and turned around just to see the look on Sam’s face – the look that told him he was right in what he figured she was thinking right now.  
“No, Samantha, this is not because I am angry at you nor do I blame you for what happened, please do not think that. This in no way was your fault. I know you think sometimes that you are a super woman and I know this might piss a lot of woman off – but a man is still a hell of a lot stronger than a woman when it comes to pure strength -especially a man trained in Black OPS and is crazy as a damn lun. I have no doubt that you fought him with ever fiber in your being until you couldn’t fight anymore. And when the mind is being abused as much as the body is, it is harder to fight.”  
Jack took a deep breath and his next words stunned Sam and she was again glad that she had not known Jack when this had taken place.  
“But I need to get out – I need to destroy something. Right now, the people I want to destroy is either dead or not here. I understand that you and your father were not on speaking terms when this happened, but did he ever find out, and what the hell was your brother thinking believing some shit like that! He knew you, knew how strong you were – he should have known right away there was a problem. I must be honest; it will be a good idea if he does not come around me. As for that stupid rat bastard that was your CO at the time, I will make damn sure he will never sit in another office making such a decision ever again. I take it when Hansen showed up at Stargate Command, you informed your godfather that you can handle it, am I right? Because if he knew exactly what had happened in that house – it would not have taken a bunch of wild savages to kill Hansen.”  
Jack looked at Sam and watched her nod her head, affirming he was correct in his assumption of both her father and godfather. Jack shook his head – such a stubborn woman.  
“Give me a minute alone and I will be back and we will talk about Charlie and our little one, if Thor is right and we are gonna have us a runt.”  
Sam watched Jack as he walked out of the door and headed towards the dense forest on the other side of the cabin. She really wished he would not go out there alone even if Thor did say it was safe but she knew right now that he would not have allowed her anywhere near him. He was angry, not just angry as in you have pissed me off – but angry to the point where he wanted to really hurt someone. She remembered when they were on the planet with the red sky and Malchus had the shuttle blown up. Jack wanted to tear the man apart until there was nothing left of him. It was only because of Elrad that he did not do it. She felt a shiver go down her back when she thought of Mark and in some way, she was glad that he and she had never been able to mend their ways when he had found out that she had broken off the engagement. He did not know the details of the whole thing and he never would…if she had her way and Jack never met him.


	9. Jack's Confession - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack tells of Charlie's death and his guilt because of it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned here is by Destiny's Child - T-shirt!

Chapter 9 – Jack’s Confession Part 1

Jack had walked the length of the forest that was around three-quarters of the house – never going out of site, he wanted to make sure that he could keep an eye constantly on the house, on her. He knew Thor had said that the planet was safe but he also knew his and Sam’s luck. Well when it came to them two- luck was not always a lady!  
He had smashed his hands on a couple of trees and even used his knees on a few but nothing seemed to diminish the anger he was feeling. God! How she must have felt, looking up that first day the bastard walked into the briefing room of the SGC and sat down right across from her. Jack had assumed like everyone else, Sam had cringed because of their messy break-up. After all, according to her file it was bad enough to cause her to lose unknown amounts of weight and go through a really bad case of depression. Jack realized now how much of a fool they had all been. He could at least admit that he did not like Hanson the first time he laid eyes on him and his dislike grew each time he saw him. There was just something evil about the man. Jack just wished he had known just how evil he was.  
Jack walked into the front door and looked over at the couch but Sam was not there. Panic begin to rise but he quickly quieted it. He had seen the house – he would have known if she had left it. Then he heard music coming from the kitchen and started towards there until he remembered his hands. There was no way he could allow Carter to see his hands the way they looked so he did a rapid turn and headed towards the bathroom instead. Hopefully everything was in the bathroom here like it should be. After all, Thor did leave the radio in the kitchen, to be sure he left the first aid kit in the bathroom.  
After Jack finished with his hands, he headed towards the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him. Sam had given up on keeping the jogging pants on and was wearing nothing but his hockey shirt – which was long enough to go to her knees – and a pair of socks bunched down around her calves of her feet. She was listening to a pop song on the radio and was dancing around the kitchen while she made sandwiches. The group she was listening to he had heard in his truck when Cassie would ride with him – some group with Destiny in the name but the song hit exactly what he was thinking:  
“When you're not here (I sleep in your t shirt)  
I wish you were here (to take off your t shirt)  
After we make love (I sleep in your t shirt)  
Wake up in your t shirt  
Still smell the scent of your cologne  
When I need your feel (I sleep in your t shirt)  
I need your help (to take off your t shirt)  
After we make love (I sleep in your t shirt)  
Wake up in your t shirt  
Still smell the scent of your cologne”

Talking about making love and putting on his t-shirt. Taking off his t-shirt, this sight alone was enough to drive him crazy-the words added to it. The whole scene was enough to make him fall in love with her again! He was up behind her with his arms circling Sam before Sam even realized he was back in the house. They swayed and moved with the music like their bodies were fused together and the sparks were igniting. Jack’s lips were making headway on Sam’s neck and she was feeling the fire burning in places that she thought was too tired to feel anything for a good long while. She slowly turned until she was facing him and their lips met. This was what she needed after the conversation they had just finished. She needed him to make her feel like she was indeed a woman a man would want.  
Jack felt her urgency and he could feel his building but he knew he needed to stop this before it got any further. Before they made love again, he wanted all of the air cleared and he knew he had to tell her about Charlie before the day ended – there was no getting away from it. He would rather do it now then to put it off, putting it off would give him another day to try to get away from talking about it. But Jack also felt the need that Sam had, the need to feel like she was wanted. Before Sam realized what had happened, Jack had her seating on the center island in the kitchen. He was kissing her, going from her lips to her neck and down to her throat.  
Sam was in Heaven but she had not gotten anywhere as close to heaven as she would be if Jack had his way. He lifted her up and had his hockey shirt pulled up past her hips and was between her legs before Sam even noticed that his lips had moved from her breast to her most heated point. Sam’s need was apparent and Jack had all plans to take care of her before anything else was said or done today. When Sam felt herself tightening up, she attempted to push Jack from between her legs but he would have no part in it. Tightening his grip on her hips, he pulled her ever closer to her mouth and brought her to ecstasy twice before Sam could move completely away from him.  
Jack pulled her back to him, whispering words of love to her that could only come from a man that truly loved her. He cleaned her and then carried her to the bathroom, and sit her on the sink while he fixed a bath of hot water and put her in it. Telling her to relax while he finished lunch, and to come to the kitchen when she was ready. He kissed her one more time, telling her that she never had to worry about anything, that nothing would ever come between them again – he did not care what he had to do or go through. She was his and always would be.  
Jack watched Sam melt into the bubbles and then walked make into the kitchen to figure out exactly what Sam was trying to make for lunch. Sandwiches had never been his favorite to eat- it just seemed the minute you got through eating, you were hungry again. Unless you had more than just a sandwich to eat. Jack begin hunting for whatever ingredients might just happen to be in his kitchen. After a few minutes, he had rummaged up some soup and the stuff to make a good fruit ambrosia to go with the hot ham and cheese sandwiches that Sam had started. When Sam came out of the bathroom, the plates were fixed and placed on the center table and Jack was sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the couch and his legs under the table. He smiled when she walked in the room and Sam could not help but blush. If this was true love, Sam knew she had never felt it before.  
After they had finished eating lunch and cleaned up, Jack took Sam by the hand and lead her out to the back patio where he pulled her down into a chase close to his. It still amazed him that Thor actually moved his cabin with all of his belongings – inside and out – here but could not move the pond. He really wished he had. Jack found he talked better with a fishing pole in his hand then he did without one.  
Jack explained to Sam that he would have to back track in order for her to understand the story of Charlie’s death. Yes, his death was sudden but the events leading to the death was not. This was the part that Jack had never told anyone – this was the part that Jack held against himself worse than any other. He and Sara had been arguing for almost two weeks straight. She wanted him at home, constantly. He had missed so much of Charlie’s life already, she said – he needed to be there for some of it or Charlie was going to be a grown man and Jack would wonder what happened to his son. The harder he tried to explain to her that he just could not walk away from the service – the angrier she became – the further apart they became. Pretty soon the only time they even shared together was if he was at home when supper was cooked and only then if Charlie was there and not at his grandpa’s.  
“I tried to explain to her that I could not leave the service. You just did not do that. Sure, when it came time for me to reenlist, I would tell them that I was done, I couldn’t just walk into the commander’s office and say hey I quit and walk out. She knew this, Sara is not a dumb woman – wasn’t then and isn’t now. But she wouldn’t listen, no matter what I or her dad told her – she wouldn’t listen. I either quit right now or leave the house and not come back.”  
Jack took a deep breath and looked at Sam, shaking his head.  
“I knew why and what had caused it but there was nothing I could do. I had screwed up on a mission, again, and gotten caught. Coming home after spending four months inside of a prison was too much for her to handle the third time around. It had happened too often and Sara was afraid that it would happen again and I wouldn’t make it home. She had enough and she was not going to allow me to be with her and Charlie and them see me die a ruthless death.”  
Jack stood up and begin walking around the patio, trying to get his thoughts organized.   
“I moved out like she asked and Charlie started staying the weekends with me when I was home. We actually got along pretty good. We played baseball together and went to the theme park. The one thing I would not do that Charlie would get upset about was let him learn how to shot a gun. I just did not think he was ready and to be honest, I had seen so many kids kill each other by accident because they had been allowed to play with guns. I had been witness to it myself. I flatly refused and it caused a bump in our relationship but I figured parents and kids are supposed to have those bumps.”  
Jack took a deep breath and continued.  
“And in a way being away from Sara and her seeing that I was still trying helped our relationship also. We started talking again, really talking but no matter what she was determined as long as I was enlisted, I was not living permanently with her and Charlie. It was just too hard to explain to Charlie when I disappeared in the middle of the night and didn’t show back up for God knows how long. Then the weekend came that she asked me to move back in. It was a week before Charlie’s eighth birthday and she wanted us to be together for that whole weekend. I was excited. This was a chance to set things right with me and her. I was due to reenlist within two weeks so I figured I could go in on Monday and let them know that I would not be joining back up. If they took my papers – I was out for good. That was my plans. But as you know, Carter, my plans don’t always go the way they are supposed to.”  
Jack looked down at the empty beer bottle he was holding and threw it into the recycle bin on the patio. He looked over at Sam and noticed that her water bottle was also empty so he went into the house to grab him and Sam a new drink. Sam knew he did it to give himself some time and she understood. But she could not have him running – she hoped he would not end up doing that.  
Jack came back outside and sat back into the chair beside Sam’s. He handed her the water bottle and Sam held onto his hand when he went to pull it back. Jack looked up at her and smiled, a sad smile but she understood – he was going to do his best to see this through. She would just have to make sure she was there to pick up the pieces when he got through.  
“The weekend of Charlie’s birthday came and I had planned to get there early enough Friday so that I could help decorate before he got home from school but there was a meeting called and I had to stay later than normal. I had told Charlie that I would be there when he got home so he was upset when he got off of the bus and did not see my truck. Sara was even more upset. I came in the house at dark thirty and everything was up – all the decorations were out and the gifts were wrapped. I went to Charlie’s room to talk to him but he turned over and said he was tired – we would talk tomorrow. Sara was in the sitting room when I came back down and I knew that this was going to be a bad one. It wasn’t her fault and I guess in a way it wasn’t mine either but at the time all you can think about is hurting each other. That night I slept on the couch and told her that I would go back to my apartment in the morning if she and Charlie wanted me to.”  
Jack rubbed the back of his neck and Sam could tell that he was getting to the part he did not want to talk about. She had never dreamed that Charlie had died on his birthday or right around his birthday – it must eat Jack up even more knowing that.  
“When I got up the next morning Charlie was already outside with a couple of his friends and Sara was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. We said good morning to each other and I walked out to see what the boys were doing. Before I knew it, I was across the yard and had one child in my hand and a rifle in the other. I could not believe that some idiot had allowed their ten-year-old to play with their rifle but here they were, in my yard with a bunch of eight to ten-year-olds playing with a rifle. Charlie was upset, screaming at me that the gun wasn’t loaded, he knew not to play with a loaded gun. I sent him in the house and the other boys home, keeping the rifle because I was planning on making a trip by the kids house that owned the gun.”  
“By the time I got into the house, Sara was already fired up. How dare I to come home no often then I did and act like she didn’t know how to raise our son. She knew Thomas had a rifle, the boys had been playing with it dozens of times but it was old and would not even shoot anymore. I went into the kitchen and took the rifle apart, I already knew there was something caught in the mechanism and all it would take was enough playing and jamming with the rifle it would dislodge. When I finally got the gun apart, a bullet was lodged in the chamber – just far enough that it had not hit the firing mechanism yet but a couple of more times cocking it and it would have dislodged. Sara started shaking, she could not believe how close one of those boys had come to dying in her yard. She kept saying, she didn’t know that it was loaded. I held her to me, knowing of the thoughts that was running in her mind.”


	10. Jack's Confession - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Jack's confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of a MacGyver moment in this chapter!

Chapter 10 – Jack’s Confession part 2

Jack took a swallow of his beer and stood up. He wanted so bad to just quit here, not say anything else about that awful weekend but he knew he could not. There was no way he could do that to Sam. He had to tell her, she had to see that she would be the one to make sure things were done right if there was a baby in their future. He could not be trusted. No matter how safe he tried to keep them – it always came back as a bad omen.  
“I went upstairs and talked to Charlie. I explained to him about what I had found in the gun and how easy it would have been for one of them to shoot their best friend. I had to tell him my secret – that when I was a kid it had happened to me, playing around with a gun shooting at cans. One of the boys decided to shoot at the birds instead and I knocked the gun out of his hands and it went off, shooting and killing one of our friends. I went on to explain that there would not be any guns in my house if I had not joined the military. Charlie said he understood and that he was not mad at me anymore. He came down stairs and we played some hoops and waited for his friends to come back over so that we could finally have his birthday party. Charlie had seen the gun on the table, in pieces. He asked me was that how you clean a gun and I told him yes. If I wanted to make sure my gun was safe, then I always took it apart and cleaned it. His mom sent him upstairs to bath and change clothes while we waited for his grandparents and friends to come. Sara and I had walked outside to decide where the trampoline would go that we had decided to buy him when we heard the shot.”  
Sam knew there was no stopping him. Jack was up and out of the chair before the last word was out of his mouth. The chair he had been sitting in was across the yard and the recycle bin was following in its path. Sam watched the anger and hurt as it cascaded over his face and she wanted so bad to reach over and touch him but she knew better then to do that to someone as angry and out of control as he was. She was also still listening. Jack had not stopped talking. He was telling her about racing up the stairs to the bathroom, passing by the couch in the sitting room and seeing his empty holster on the table. He hadn’t even remember putting it down there when he had come in the night before. The argument between him and Sara and going to bed with both of them mad at each other and Charlie hurt with him had clogged his senses and something he normally did out of instinct he had forgotten to do the night before – lock up his gun in the gun cabinet.  
“I knew when I saw him lying there that it was too late. But that didn’t stop me. I raced to him, picking him up. His body seemed so much smaller than it had earlier that day when we were playing outside. I begged him to breath, just breath I kept telling him. If he would just take a breath of air than I knew we would get through this. My hand barely covered the gap in his chest where the bullet had torn through. He had tried taking it apart -wanted to see what was inside of it. I could not believe that I had killed my son with the very thing I had forbidden him to even hold. Sara, meanwhile had called the 911 and her parents had shown up by the time I got Charlie downstairs to my truck. Mike stopped me and would not allow me to get him in the vehicle. Told me to wait on the police and the ambulance. But I argued with him, told him I could get Charlie there faster. Sara was hurting and her words showed it. She told me that I had done enough. To stop and put her son down because I was the reason he was hurt. It was my fault and I needed to get away from him before I hurt him anymore.”  
Jack stopped moving. Sam looked over at him and she shivered at the hate that was on his face mixed with the tears. He really did hate himself for this. He never had truly allowed himself to be forgiven. Had Sara ever offered forgiveness? She did not know and she doubted if he would ever tell her.  
“I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to keep holding Charlie but her words made sense. It was my gun, the very thing that I had tried my best to keep away from him and it was mine that ended his life. I knew he was gone. There was no denying that. The ambulance got there and put him on a stretcher and I reached over to hold Sara, I didn’t want her standing there all alone but she jerked away from me and turned to Mike and it was as if I lost both of them on that day. Please don’t pity me, I do not blame her. I would expect nothing less from anyone that had watched their son die by their husband’s gun. Sara already hated what I did for a living – now she had a reason to hate me and I knew she did. But she wasn’t alone – I hated me too.”  
Jack was sitting on the steps in front of Sam, with his head in his hands. He was tired. He hated telling this memory. Both times he had told it before – he had gotten drunk and stayed that way for over a week afterwards. He knew he would not be doing that this time. Could he handle staying sober through this and after this. Did Sam feel differently towards him knowing that he had left his gun down for Charlie to get a hold of? He had not had the nerve yet to look into her eyes to see what she felt and he was afraid to.  
“The police came and took our statements and they took Charlie to the hospital. I was to go the next morning and sign for his body so the funeral home could pick it up. Sara went home with her parents and stayed there until after the funeral. I stayed in the house where my eight-year-old son had taken his life with my service revolver. My gun! Not the neighbors rifle that I had so arrogantly taken apart to prove that it was loaded. No, my gun – that I had removed the clip from but left a round in the chamber and did not check it the night before because I was pissed off. Pissed off because of something that was my fault – the whole damn messed up weekend was my fault! I tore the place apart! Nothing was left whole except for his bedroom and I finally collapsed on his bed, exhausted and so angry with myself that I wanted to end my own life right then.”  
Jack felt something behind him and then he saw Sam’s hands as they snaked around and gathered his shirt in her fist. She was no longer sitting on the chaste, she had scooted behind him on the deck and was holding him, letting him know that she was there. That she would always be there.  
“Knowing the gun was still lying in the bathroom floor in the blood from Charlie, I got up and walked to the bathroom – it would be so simple – just one shot in the right place and the world would be right. Just as I made it to the door of the bathroom, I heard footsteps on the stairs. Maybe Sara had decided to come home. I couldn’t let her see me with a gun in my hand. But it wasn’t Sara. Mike had called the base and told them what had happened. Charlie Kawalsky had found out about it and knew I would not have left the house; he came over to see about me. Kawalsky was who I had named Charlie after. Michael Charles, after Sara’s dad and the man that had taken a bullet for me on one of our missions. We were close – all of us were but me and Kawalsky – we were like brothers. He was the one that made sure they didn’t give up the times I had been caught in enemy territory. He came up the stairs and I saw the look on his face. There was no way he was going to allow me to settle the odds with the maker that night. But I would eventually, I would settle the odds with Him and I was determined when I met my maker face to face I was going to ask Him what joy he got out of taking a boy from parents that loved him.”  
Jack leaned back and felt Sam kiss him on the neck. Knowing she was there for him did make a difference this time. Oh he was still angry about the ordeal and he would be. But knowing that she was willing to forgive him knowing the truth, seemed to make the burden a little easier to bare.  
“I went to the funeral, and I listened to the priest talk about how Charlie was now in heaven and he was happy and one day Sara and I would get to see him again. I couldn’t take it. How could this man stand there and tell me something like that? It was bad enough that I had killed dozens of men that I didn’t even know but I was the one that put that baby in his grave. How was I ever going to be allowed to see him again? I walked out of the church that day and never walked back into one.”  
“I never stopped trying to kill myself, but it always seemed there was someone around. Sara eventually came home and I was discharged, medically. They said I was too unstable to be reliable. Hmm go figure that one out. Hey let’s keep him in as long as he keeps getting locked up in prison camps but if he allows his kid to get ahold of his gun and shoots himself, then we have to let him go. I wanted to die. That was the only way I figured I could make up to Sara for taking her son away. We didn’t even touch anymore. She never said anything about me living there so I stayed in the guest room and she stayed in Charlie’s room. Finally, the mission to Abydos came up and I was reinstated.”  
Jack stood up and turned around. He took his fingers and wiped the tears from off of Sam’s face. How could she cry for him? Didn’t she understand that he was the reason his son never got to celebrate his tenth birthday party? Why did people always seem to feel sorry for him? Daniel had been the same way. Wanting Jack to understand that it was not his fault that Charlie died, well it was his fault!  
“You pretty much know the rest. I went to Abydos with the intention of killing myself along with a bunch of people I didn’t know. Well it didn’t exactly go as planned and I came back here a little more stable but no freer from guilt then before. I try not to blame myself I really do – but how do you not blame yourself when it was your fault??”  
“You are to blame Jack. you neglected to do something that you would normally do because you were angry and your son died. You are to blame because your gun was left where he could get to it – but you are not to blame for him shooting himself. You sat here and told me about five times that you told Charlie or showed Charlie that he was not allowed to handle guns. You did your responsibility by teaching him not to do it – it was his disobedience that ended his life – not you.”  
Sam could see jack’s eyes light up with anger and she knew exactly what he was thinking. How dare her put this off on Charlie! He was not to blame; he was just a child.  
“Yeah I know – you’re angry at me but the truth is the truth. And as his father and the owner of the gun you were more than willing to take on all the blame. And what really pisses me off is you were not the only one ready to shift blame – Sara was right there throwing it at you too. Oh you’re really pissed now but you need to face facts. Sara knew how you felt about guns and she knew that you had to have one for your job, you had no choice. She also knew that you always kept yours locked up where Charlie or any other child could not get it. I am sure when she came down that morning to fix breakfast – she saw your gun. Why didn’t she get it and lock it up or put it somewhere where Charlie couldn’t get it. You and Sara needed to be on the same page to begin with. She should have never allowed Charlie to be playing with someone else’s guns whether they were any good or not. It confuses a child when parents don’t agree on rules. Sara was willing to blame you for Charlie dying but she forgot who it was that was allowing Charlie to be in the front yard with other boys playing with a rifle that she didn’t know whether it was loaded or not! You get mad at me if you want to but I am going to ask you a question and I want an honest answer. Did Sara kill Charlie?? Did the boys down the road kill Charlie?? Well?!  
“Damn Carter you know they didn’t. Sara didn’t kill Charlie, she didn’t even own a gun and the boys gun they had was still on the kitchen table where I had taken it apart. Why are you blaming everyone else?”  
“Because you are blaming the wrong person just like they are. Sara was quick to shovel blame and you were quick to take it. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that Charlie died that day. Unless you are going to blame Charlie. He knew he was not supposed to touch your gun. But that’s like telling Daniel that he is not to touch an artifact. It intrigues him so he has to see what it is. Charlie was intrigued by guns – because Daddy was so cool with one. You cannot blame yourself Jack for what happened. It wasn’t your fault.”  
Sam reached up and pulled Jack down and kissed him hard on the lips and then it became tender. When she pulled away she touched his check and the words she said next seemed to lift a boulder from Jack’s chest.  
“I know you don’t believe me but maybe one day you will. Just know this, I trust you with any child we may be fortunate enough to have – if God is so willing to give us one. I would never doubt my child’s safety with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know that it may be a while before another chapter is posted. doctors orders!


	11. Making new memories from old pieces

Chapter 11  
Jack felt his shoulders relaxing under Sam’s hands. He had sat back down on the steps and she was still behind him. He knew as did she that he was still upset about the whole ordeal but he had to admit that the more he thought about what she had said, a small part of him wanted to believe it. Could he really not be as guilty as he had thought – but he was still guilty. He should have paid more attention the night before and made sure his gun was up.   
“Jack, it doesn’t matter what people tell you. You will always blame yourself. You just have to learn to accept that and go on with life. You have to believe that not every child you conceive is going to be tainted by that.”  
Sam took a deep breath and Jack felt her moving. Soon she was standing in front of him, looking at him as if her life depended on him listening to her. God! He loved her so much!! Why had he fought against his feelings for her for so long?   
“Just think about the children in your life – no you don’t have any that you parented but every person at the SGC trust you with their children. They all love you – every child you meet whether from Earth or not – they all love you. You always seem to know what to say. What happened to Charlie was very tragic and I will never make light of it – but he would not want you living your life without a child of your own. And he sure as heck would not want you living your life blaming yourself for what happened. He had too many good times with his father. How many times while you were telling me about his death did I hear you mention that Charlie stayed stuck up in his room and never went to your apartment or played hoops or baseball with you? Never, he was always with you unless he was pissed or hurt with you, which every child does that if the parent is raising them correctly.”  
Jack went to turn his face from her and she took her hand and pulled him back towards her. He had to hear this and she had to make sure he was listening.  
“I have seen dozens of pictures of you two together and it never looks as if you made him take the picture with you – you both were happy and smiling. Charlie is gone but his memory is not – not just the one of his death but the good ones too – focus on those. And allow his memories to show in the new ones we will make with our children if God has granted for us to have any.”  
Jack stood up and when he did, he pulled Sam into his embrace. Placing his face into the crook of her neck she heard his deep sigh as he tried to hold back the tears from falling. She whispered it was okay to cry – remember he had told a little boy that when the child had lost his mother. With those words, Sam felt Jack break. She knew there was no way she would ever hold him up and finally she pushed back against him and he landed on the deck. She knew she needed to watch him but he needed something to wipe his face. He was crying and crying hard – she hated to think that this was the first time since Charlies death that he had allowed this to show but something inside of her said it was. She reached over and grabbed the water bottle sitting beside her chair and wet the end of the t-shirt he had given her to put on after her bath. She gently wiped his face while quietly whispering words of love, hope and comfort. She saw him slowly gathering himself and knew the first words out of his mouth and stopped him before he could say them.  
“Don’t you dare ask for forgiveness for crying Jonathon Jack O’Neill! You have every right to cry and this won’t be the last time either. Now I am hungry and not for a sandwich. I want a good juicy steak off of your grill and I want you to cook it for me. You do that and I will go make us a good salad and fix the potatoes to go on the grill and we can chill a bottle of wine – don’t look at me like that – a glass of wine is not going to hurt me. We have a lot to celebrate. We are picking up the pieces of our own individual lives and together we are making one beautiful puzzle. So indulge me General O’Neill while I lavage on the good life – before we have to face the fact of having to go back home.”  
Jack grabbed Sam and pulled her to him so fast that she landed in his lap. Sam could not help it when the giggle erupted from her. Jack did a great impression of Teal’c and Sam knew the words he would say before he said them.  
“Carter, what have I told you about the giggling?   
“Sorry, Sir! Won’t happen again, Sir”  
With that last comment, Sam stood to complete attention and saluted Jack. Jack kissed Sam hard on her lips. Before they knew it, the kiss had taken on another aspect and was no longer just a kiss to say thanks or I love you. It had turned into a hard kiss of passion, one that their bodies gave in to. Before Sam realized what Jack was doing, he had her flung over his shoulders and was carrying her like he was a cave man that had just found his prize. Sam was wiggling, trying to get away from Jack but was laughing so hard that she was not making any progress in her attempt. Her wiggling soon had Jack literally hurting in his pants and he reached up and swatted her behind.   
“Do you always find it hard to follow orders?”  
“No Sir! Usually I am a very well behaved scientist….”  
“But I don’t like scientist, Ma’am. Are you sure you are not just a really misbehaved airman? I can handle misbehaved airman… I know just how to keep them in line.”  
Jack opened the back door and started down the hall to his bedroom. He growled when he stubbed his toe on the divider between the two rooms and Sam shivered and let out a low moan. Jack knew what the growl did to her, and he reached up and swatted her again, this time leaving his hand under the t-shirt. Sam moved but this time when she moved it was not to get away. Jack felt as she grounded her pelvic into his shoulder and he did not think he would make it to the bed before he exploded.   
They started off hot and full of fire, letting all the anger and hate that they had recalled from their memories seep through their bodies to evaporate in the fullness of their love. Then slowly and with a calmness that spoke volumes of the love that they had for each other – they gave into the desire and made sweet passionate love. Feeling the urge while they waited for release, they realized that the tightness was now in their chest, sealing their love for each other forever in their hearts. Coming back down to Earth, Jack slowly moved onto his side, pulling Sam up close to him, spooning her in like she was the very lock to his soul. Covering them both up with his comforter – he whispered words of undying love before succumbing to sleep peacefully beside the woman that had given him back a reason to live.  
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJS  
When Sam woke up the next morning, she was assaulted with a variety of smells. Some of the smell was just clean fresh air – but then she smelt something that made her stomach growl. She had not imagined that she and Jack would have slept all night. It just meant that they both had been exhausted from recalling the memories of the past and with what had happened with being moved from one planet to another. Her nose drew her mind back to the smells that the breeze blew back through the opened bedroom window and Sam realized just how hungry she was. Finding another of Jack’s shirts and trying on a pair of his shorts, she headed out to the porch where Jack had the grill going and steaks cooking.   
It dawned on Sam as she watched him that Jack knew exactly how to cook the meat on the grill so all of those burnt steaks he had given to Daniel and Teal’c were because he loved picking on his team. And it also dawned on her that each time he had put a steak on her plate – it was never burnt. She also saw some fried potatoes and some eggs that had already been grilled on the flat pan he had on one side of his grill. Sam did not move but she knew that Jack knew she was there, standing behind him and when her stomach gave another loud growl – there was no doubt that he knew when she heard him laugh.  
Jack turned around and looked at the sight standing behind him. She was standing there with hair sticking up all over her head, her face blushed from the afterglow of a night of passion. She had on an old t-shirt of his and a pair of shorts that if she was not holding on to, would be down around those socked clad ankles. It seemed every time his heart had hit a stopping point for his love for her – she did something or looked someway that made his heart do a sudden drop. An old saying passed through his mind and he wondered if it was true about love – it’s not the fall that will kill you, it’s the sudden stop – well he guessed he was okay as long as he kept dropping and did not stop. Looking at her, Jack felt sure he would never stop dropping. He reached behind him and picked up a piece of rope that happened to be lying on the patio and pulled Sam towards him. Taking the rope, he laced it through the belt loops of the cargo shorts she had on and tied it. Then he pulled her to him and gave her a good morning kiss,   
Sam pulled back and looked at Jack – how had she been so fortunate to fall in love with this stunning silver haired fox. He obviously had decided to go without shaving this morning and there was already a shadow covering his chin and jaw line. Standing there with the morning sun shining across his rugged face, Sam allowed her eyes to roam over his body. With no shirt on, she could see that the hair on his head matched the matted hair on his chest and she drew in a deep breath as her eyes traveled even further down to his hips and legs that were covered in a pair of the oldest worn jogging pants she had ever seen. He was breathtaking and the desire for him that seemed to always be alive inside of her, seemed to rise with the suggestions her mind was making looking at him.   
“Nope, not gonna happen. Told you before Carter – this boy is hungry. And I am going to eat this fine meal I have cooked for us. Sorry darlin’ but this boy can’t keep going on sex alone – I wish I could but I love the taste of food too much!”  
Sam laughed at the look on Jack’s face. If she did not know better she would swear that he was a five-year-old little boy that was scared the bully was going to steal his lunch money and he would not be able to eat. She helped him set the deck table and found some fruit and orange juice in the kitchen. They sat in peaceful silence and savored the meal before them. When Jack pushed his plate away, Sam knew by the look on his face that today would not be spent the same way yesterday was. She saw a General sitting in front of her with a mission cooking in his brain. She knew it was time for them to figure out where they were and how to get home. Once they got home there would be no time for thinking so she knew that they were also going to have to figure out what to do about the new relationship they had established with each other.   
“I figured Daniel had gotten Thor to make sure the kitchen was stocked but I don’t see it staying that way for long. We also do not know our surroundings and although our dear buddy Thor is confident that this planet is safe– do we know for sure? And you know me Carter – I don’t like not knowing my surroundings.”  
“That’s our plan for today, Sir? It sounds like a good one. I don’t have any sampling cases or biometric instruments with me so it will be guess work. If food is a concern – we may also need to check to see if we can find some wild fruit or vegetables, I am not sure if I would trust the meat we may find since I have nothing to check it with.”  
“Carter, let’s just go for a hike and see what we find. It may not even be a problem. We may be on our own planet before long.”  
Sam saw the look on Jack’s face as he said the last sentence. She saw the sadness in his eyes and she knew if she had looked in the mirror, hers would have reflected the same. But there was no sense in thinking about it – they had both known that they would not be able to stay here. It was like a couple finally getting a honeymoon after being married for ten years – they knew that the real world was still waiting right outside the door and they were going to have to open it. That simple thought put a damper on the rest of the morning as they begin their walk through the dense woods on the side of the house.


	12. Disobedient Alien's

Chapter 12 – Disobedient Alien’s  
The sun had climbed to the center of the sky by the time Jack called a halt on the hike. They had walked a good eight miles but because of the foliage and the dense woods, it had taken them longer to walk those miles. Sam was tired. She did not understand it. She could get at least 3 miles an hour at home and that was with a pack full. She felt as if she had just run a twenty-mile race. Looking a Jack, she realized he did not look much better. Was the climate here different then they had thought? Was the fact of them doing physical activity outside making the air harder for them to breath?  
Jack heard Sam as she tried to take in a deep breath. She was hurting, literally exhausted and they had not even walked what they would have normally walked in an hour back at home. Crap! When Thor and Daniel decided to come up with this genius plan of theirs, he really wished they had beamed some of Sam’s doo-hickeys here also. He reached in his pocket and took out a cloth, wetting it with the bottle of water he had. He reached over and wiped Sam’s face. She actually looked pale – he did not like this. Not one bit!  
Something was wrong, there was no denying that. Jack wondered if maybe it was just being in the woods – may be the air was not circulating correctly. He and Sam finished with their sandwiches and stood up. They had decided to do about three more miles and then head back to the cabin. Tomorrow they would try the other side to see if it were any different. They had walked two of those three miles when Jack stopped suddenly and Sam almost ran right into him.   
“Sir, what’s wrong?”   
Sam and Jack had fallen back into military protocol the minute they started the hike – it was second nature to the both of them. It had no effect on Jack for her to call him Sir at this moment. He was standing still as a statue looking at the beautiful scenery in front of him. He thought back to his days in Sunday School and believed he was standing in the Garden of Eden – the only think he did not see that had been in all the pictures was a snake. He hoped he did not find one here.   
Sam stepped around Jack and she too was overwhelmed by the magnificent picture. Trees green with leaves and moss, flowers blooming everywhere, meadow in the middle of it with tall beautiful grass swaying in a breeze they had not felt earlier. And on the opposite side of the meadow, was a lake that looked like a piece of glass. It was beyond beautiful, beyond anything either of them had ever seen. The edge of the lake seemed to fall right off of the picture, if it had been a picture they were actually looking at. Jack also noticed that his and Sam’s breathing had improved since stepping into this “garden of paradise” yet Jack knew to take precautions. Everything that looked perfect usually had a bite to it – a poisonous bite.  
Jack went to take a step forward when he felt Sam’s hand on his elbow. She did not like this – it was too perfect. Jack turned and looked at her and she released her hand. She saw the caution in his eyes so she knew he also did not take things for granted. As he took another step, he felt a cold shiver run down his spine. “Okay, this is not good. Turn around Jack and just go back to the cabin. Forget you found this place” Jack heard the voices going off in his head but as he had told the Asgard – Earth people were curious people and he had to admit – this place really intrigued him. Just as he had managed about five steps from Sam, he felt the over powering sensation that something was dragging him the rest of the way towards the garden.   
Jack turned to look at Sam to tell her to stay where she was but he realized it was too late. She had not been told to stay put and therefore every step he had taken; she had followed him. He felt the tug even more and tried to resist. But no matter how hard he fought – there was no stopping it. He was headed straight to the center of the meadow and Sam was going right along with him no matter how hard they both tried not to. By the time they had reached the point of where they were being dragged, they were exhausted. The fight to stay put had been harder then they both had realized and they were worn out. Before they knew what happened, they were lying on the grass sound asleep. Neither of them even knew they had closed their eyes.  
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJS  
In the small ship above the planet, the small grey alien was very apprehensive. He knew if it was found out what he had done, there would be trouble. He had never planned on capturing the two specimen’s that he had captured. He knew they were both protected by his brother and this was not good, not good at all.  
As far as being able to research their physiology, he already knew the male would be hard to do. And something told him he would also fail with the female. Besides the whole purpose of trying to get a male and female to this garden was so they could propagate and he could see if there was any way he could use the DNA to help further his race. But it would not work with these two humans as his scanners showed him, because she was already carrying offspring inside of her. He was not able to procure any of the DNA necessary to complete the act for his own race.  
Loki sat down hard and watched the scene as it unfolded before him. He had not even known they were on the planet. All his machine had shown him was that there were two life signs heading towards the illusion he had created on the planet. An illusion he created because it was what the human species seemed to crave. Beautiful, seemingly peaceful and away from any distractions. Maybe to be honest with himself, he had created the illusion using one of the memories from this O’Neill when he had captured him before – but he had never intended on it being him he captured. He knew without any hesitation that Thor would not be pleased when he contacted him – and he would have to contact him. The results of the two stepping into the illusion was proof enough that he was going to need his brother’s help.  
SJSJSJJJJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSSJJJSSJJJSJSJSJSJSJJJJJSJJJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJJSJS  
Jack sat up and rubbed his eyes. He was very confused. First off, where was he? And how did he get here? He then saw the beautiful woman lying about five feet from him and he caught his breath. If she was here with him, did that mean they were a couple? She was enchanting to say the least and she fit right into the scenery that Jack saw all around him. This place was beautiful – was this their home? He had to figure out what was going on. He hoped he would not be disappointed when he did. Silently he crawled over to her and leaned over to make sure she was breathing normally. God! she was even more breath taking up close. He knew this woman and he knew his heart belonged to her. He just did not know how long they had known each other. Come to think about it – he did not even know her name. He watched her as her eyes slowly started to open.  
Sam was slowly coming to when she saw the man leaning over her. At first she felt a hint of fear but then something inside of her told her he would never harm her. She smiled up at him as he reached down with his hand and helped her sit up. They sat beside each other in the garden and just looked at the scenery – cutting their eyes at each other when they thought the other person was not looking.   
“Um do you know ….”  
“I don’t suppose ….”  
They both laughed when they realized they were talking at the same time – so Jack held up his hand, letting her go first. He did not need to talk and ruin this moment. He loved sitting here with her – looking at her – feeling at home here. Every time he caught her looking at him with those blue eyes he felt as if he were drowning inside of them.  
“Ok – so I was wondering if you know what was going on? I must be honest I don’t even know where I am – and to top that off I don’t even know who I am. I mean I know my name but that is it. Do you know who I am?”  
Sam looked at Jack with pleading eyes, hoping that he knew who she was. Jack thought about what she had said. Yes, he knew his name but like her – that was all he could recall about himself. He knew somehow deep inside that being with her was the right thing to do but that was all he could recall about her also. Something very strange was going on.   
“I know that my name is Jack, and somehow even though I cannot recall your name at the moment – I know that you and I are together. I feel a bond with you and not a blood bond. Are you feeling the same thing?”  
“My name is Sam. And yes, you are correct – I do feel a bond with you but why can we not remember anything else. Are we at home? Do we live here? Where is here at? I don’t like this, Jack!”  
Jack reached over and pulled Sam closer to his side, sliding his arm around her. Now this felt right, there was no doubt about that. He took the time to soak in the moment while he took in his surroundings a little more. This may be where they lived but something about the place told Jack that this was not their home. Something was off – it was too perfect. When he felt, Sam move, he stood up and begin walking around the area. He noticed that the “garden” only went so far – then there were dense woods all around the area where the meadow and lake were. He felt an urge inside to go towards the woods. That was where he and Sam needed to go, that was where their home was.  
He reached down and helped her stand up and pointed towards the woods. She seemed to understand him without words having to be spoken. For some reason, Jack felt the need to get back through the woods as soon as possible. The longer he stood here in this place the stranger he seemed to feel. Taking her hand, he headed towards the edge of the woods and away from the garden. Jack felt the need growing stronger to escape the closer he got to the woods but he was also feeling something else and the need for that was trying to pull him back to where he had awakened.  
Sam watched Jack and saw the urgency in his eyes. It was like he was running away from something. But she did not want to go, she suddenly felt like she needed to stay here. She also felt like she was burning up, but not from the heat of the sun but from a heat inflaming her on the inside. She did not want to leave here, she wanted to lay in this beautiful meadow with this man whom she knew yet did not know. She wanted to explore him, learn him, and see if somehow touching him would bring back some memories of them together.  
Jack felt the pull on his arm and turned back to Sam. What he saw caused his breathing to become rugged. She was standing there with a look of pure want on her face. Her eyes were the darkest blue he had ever seen and he could almost smell the need coming from her. Okay, something was wrong. Oh, he would love to grant her wish and take her right here right now but for some reason, he did not think the urgency was coming from Sam alone. This place was causing this desire in her. It seemed that something was causing them to want to mate and he could feel the pull on him to comply with both her wishes and admittedly his.   
Jack turned back to look once more at the woods. He knew with no doubt that he needed to get him and Sam out of here, but the overwhelming desire to take her was getting stronger, the smell arousing him even more. When Sam broke from him and started towards the lake, taking off her clothes with each step, he followed. He could not help it. He wanted her and if being in the water was where she wanted it to happen, then he would give into her. Jack turned one last time and looked at the woods just as his feet hit the edge of the lake. Sam was already in the water, waiting for him. Jack dove in and finally he was in her arms, where he gave in to the burning heat rushing through his body. His mind screamed that this was not right, but he could not help it. He gave her what she wanted and it took no time for both of them to reach the plateau of unyielding desire. Jack felt his release just as Sam grabbed him closer to her and let go of her own. 

Loki watched what happened on the planet with apprehension. He had assumed that sense she was expecting, that the pheromones in her body would not have increased from the different plants he had inserted around the garden. The lavender and jasmine were enough to cause a nun to want to have sex. Loki had not realized that a woman who was pregnant with child, was even more acceptable to the aphrodisiacs.   
However, Loki could not see the worst part of the plan he had put together. Because she was pregnant, no matter how many times Sam gave in and crashed around Jack, she seemed to never be sated. The desire grew with each orgasm. Jack was becoming desperate, trying to help her with each one but losing the battle to get her to that final point. And the apprehension that had been in the back of his mind since he had awakened was back and stronger. There was something wrong and if he did not get Sam out of this garden, she would end up dying from overexertion.  
Loki finally saw the look of desperation on Jack’s face and realized that something was definitely wrong. He had waited to late – he had to get his brother here now. He would take whatever punishment came from his actions but he knew the two people on the planet was the most important thing when it came to his brother. If he caused one of them to die due to his experiments, well he did not want to think about what Thor would do. Pushing a button on the console – he waited for his brother’s form to appear.   
Thor felt the call coming from his brother and his body seemed to tense up. He knew that Loki seldom contacted him unless there was something very wrong. When he found himself on his brother’s ship, looking at the scene in front of him – he could not believe that his brother had done it again. He saw the fear in the man’s eyes on the screen and could hear his pleading for his woman to hold on – he would get her somewhere safe. Thor looked over at Loki.  
“Loki! What have you done?”


	13. Where is Home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does get a little explicit but that is the reason for the "m" rating!

Chapter 13 - Where is home?  
Jack knew there was no way he would get through the woods without shoes on, no matter how dense it was. He tried to pick up his shoes and pants without having to put her down but that was not going to work. He lifted her face from his shoulders, looked into her blue eyes, and begged her to stay where he put her. When he put her down, her knees begin to buckle so he helped her sit instead. She was so exhausted that her body would not stay up on its own. He grabbed his pants and shoes and put them on and then picked up his shirt and covered her in it, since she had gone into the water with all her clothing on. When he finished, he reached down and picked her back up. Seeing the tears in her blue eyes caused Jack to catch his breath. There was something vaguely familiar about the blue swimming in the wetness of tears. For some reason, it reminded him of something else – something that should mean a lot to both him and her. Jack shook his head and begin once again with his steady walk, feeling a calmness the minute they crossed through the barrier and into the woods.   
Jack stopped at the same place he and Sam had earlier – the memory of coming through here with her seemed to be stronger than it had been when he first started out. It seemed that small gaps were being filled the more he walked away from the lake. Sam had started calming down but she still seemed high from the endorphins and Jack gave into her when she slid into his lap while they rested. It did not take as long this time and Sam was soon asleep having at least reached a small point of satisfaction. Jack knew it was not the end of the wild ride, she was just sated again for a moment. Knowing this, Jack knew he needed to get her back to wherever they called home and get her some food – her energy had to be completely gone.  
After almost 3 hours of fast pace walking, Jack stepped out of the woods and saw a cabin sitting in front of him. He tilted his head a little and looked closely at the structure. “Okay, that place I definitely know. This has to be our home.” Jack thought the words to himself as he started walking again towards the patio. After getting in the back door, he laid Sam on the couch and went to the bathroom to start running some water for a bath. He knew he wanted one and thought the same about Sam. While the water ran, he went into the kitchen to see what he could find to eat. If whatever had caused her to become a nymphomaniac was still in her system, food would be a continuous necessity. He just prayed he would be able to hold out for her. The desire he had felt in Sam at the water was not something that could be distinguished by one’s self – it would take both of them to get to an ending or a miracle from someone or something. Jack knew that Sam had to be getting to the point of hurting. The pleasure was turning into pain.   
The fools that thought you could have sex continuedly and never hurt were full of crap! Even though he could not remember that much about their past – he knew he loved this woman, would die for her and that alone was enough to know he did not want to see her in the pain that she would be in having too much sex by being overexcited. Jack prayed for a miracle even as he lifted Sam up and put her in the tub with him, and he knew they would not be getting out without having intercourse. As he prepared himself to enter her, he literally dreaded it because he could see the pain in her eyes. He suddenly had a thought and stopped before he entered her all the way. He saw the disappointment flit across her face, thinking he was abandoning her. He took his hand and gently wiped the tears from her checks, assuring her that he was not leaving her. Jack lifted her out of the tub and took her to their bed. Maybe if he helped her have an orgasm a different way it, the pain would not be as bad. Sam watched as Jack fitted between her thighs and took her into his mouth. He actually heard her sigh of relief as she felt the warmth of his tongue. Twenty minutes later, Sam was sleeping again after eating just a small energy bar and drinking some water. Jack again prayed for a miracle.  
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJS  
Thor watched while Loki destroyed the plants that he had at the lakes edge and removed the barrier that had kept the smell of the plants from being noticed from a distance. He had created the barrier so the couples would not be forewarned. Thor had already informed him that he was not finished with him, his punishment would be severe. He just better hope that Thor could help Colonel Carter and O’Neill.  
He knew that humans were different when it came to finding and keeping a mate. Some did not care how many times they changed life-mates as long as they were satisfied for the time. But these two Tauri and some of the others he had met inside the Tauri base where these two were from proved that there were people left that believed in love for just one – that there truly was a soul mate for a person and they treasured each other. Colonel Carter and O’Neill may not know where they came from or where they belonged but they knew one thing – they loved each other and O’Neill did not want to see Colonel Carter hurting anymore.   
He had to get down there to them – no matter how much it would frighten them. He also knew he would need help to convince them so Daniel and Teal’c were already being summoned from his ship. Together maybe they could straighten the mess out. One thing was for sure. Earth was still in a time – suspended state and O’Neill and Colonel Carter had just been affected by an alien virus. Though right now things looked bad – at least there may be a good outcome.  
SJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJJSSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJJSSJSJ  
Jack was sitting on the couch when he heard the light footsteps padding down the hall. She was awake. He looked at his watch and realized she had slept for nearly four hours, longer then he had thought she would be able to and for that he was grateful. His memory had seemed to become clearer the longer he was away from the garden and the lake and he now remembered that they were together as a couple but they were not husband and wife. He also had remembered that even though this cabin looked and felt as if it were his own, he was not “at home.” Where ever he and Sam were, they were only visitors.   
Remembering this much helped to put his mind at ease if only a little but what really confused him was the fact that he knew this cabin – knew it from the inside out – every crack, nook and corner. So, if he and Sam were indeed just visitors here – then here they had to have been for a very long time. And why were there no other people around? Coming out of the woods, he had expected to come across a village or a town of some sort. But no, the only building was his cabin for as far as he could see. The woods surrounded the cabin on three sides and at the front of the cabin was just beautiful grass and a small path that led somewhere. He intended to find out where if Sam was feeling better.   
Mentioning Sam, Jack wondered where she had gone. He had heard her when she left the bedroom and it had sounded as if her feet were heading towards the bathroom but he still had not seen her yet. That had been a while ago he realized, getting up to go check on her. He did not want to invade her if she needed a few minutes alone but he also did not want to leave her where he did not know what she was doing or where she was.  
He found her in the bathroom, just where he thought she had gone. The sight tore his heart out. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the tub, crying and rubbing herself to the point of being raw. She still had the effects of the endorphins in her system and she was trying to take care of it without bothering him. If he had known this, he never would have left the bedroom. He sat down beside her and pulled her into his lap. Moving her hand and replacing it with his own, his lips found hers and he kissed her with a kiss that spoke volumes of love. He slowly moved from her lips to the throbbing point on her neck, and then even further down until his lips found a very excited breast. Taking the hard nipple into his mouth, he suckled it as if he were a new born baby.   
Sam’s head had fallen back on Jack’s shoulder and her eyes slowly closed as she felt the love he was showing her. She just did not understand why she could not get to a point of being satisfied. Oh, she loved the attention he was showing her but she was tired and not feeling satisfied for long after reaching an orgasm was no fun. She knew this man that held her could definitely meet all of her needs and then some but why was it not working this time. Sam stopped thinking when she felt his fingers push into her opening, scraping across her g-spot, his thump still making circles on her button and his mouth taking turns from one breast to the other. She felt the buildup and actually tensed because she was so scared that after letting loose the desire would start again. Sam was worried that this would never stop and the pain had eased up from earlier but it could start again.  
“Just relax, my love. I’ve got you. No matter how long it takes – I got you.”  
“I don’t want to hurt again, it feels like I am burning from the inside out. Why can I not be satisfied? Oh, God Jack, I can’t stop it!!”  
“I don’t want you to. Let it go Sam. I am here, I will catch you when you fall. Just let it go, my love.”  
Jack said the words, knowing she was right. If the buildup kept again like it did earlier, the pain would return. He felt her as her body tensed and then he felt her as she let go. She had been trying so hard to contain it that when it finally exploded, she passed out from the energy it took. Damn! What good was he if he could not help her through this? She was getting weaker and weaker and if it did not end soon, he really did not want to think what would happen to her. He lifted her up as he stood and started the water in the shower, making it as warm as possible.   
After washing her and him, he laid her back on the bed and laid down beside her. He had rummaged through the dresser and closets earlier to try to find her something to wear but the women’s clothing he came across were all too snug for her. Either she had gained weight in the right places or they belonged to someone else. And if they did, then where was her clothes. Because once again Jack knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was his woman – and had been for a long while. Something in the back of his mind clicked when he thought that and he pulled Sam closer to him. The thought passed through him that he and Sam were a couple and had loved each other for a long time but something had kept them apart. Something he could not put his finger on.   
Oh Crap! Was there another woman involved? Had he and Sam came here time and time again to escape real life and to get away from maybe a spouse or two? Was there a chance he or she may be married? That would explain the clothes in the dresser. That had to be it! They were having an affair. They had fallen in love and because he was married they could not be. So, they had started coming here – wherever here was – and “playing house” together. That’s why she had nothing here. Why everything looked manly instead of like a home for a couple. Oh God! Just what kind of a low life was he? Oh, for crying out loud – if only he could get everything to come back to him.   
Looking at Sam lying beside him, Jack did find it hard to believe that she would have an affair with a married man. Unless of course he had not told her he was married. He had not seen a ring on his finger nor on hers and there was no evidence of a married life here. “Besides the clothes in the dresser, you idiot, and no clothes for her here.” He felt the hand slap him in the back of the head. How could he forget the clothes? Feeling frustrated, he pulled the covers off him and walked through the bedroom and towards the side door, going out on the deck. He stood there with his hands clasped behind his neck willing his mind to remember. He had to find the truth. Something in the pit of his stomach told him it was an affair but something in his heart told him it was not. If only he could find the truth.  
Jack had been standing outside for almost an hour, standing where he could see the bedroom window so he would know if she got up. The sky was turning a beautiful fiery orange which meant that it would soon be dark. Then he saw something that grabbed his attention. It was like a huge white glow just hovering in the middle of nowhere on the path. As he watched, the glow disappeared and standing in its place was three figures. He could tell that two of them were men but the third figure looked like a very skinny child. As he watched them come closer to him and the cabin, an instinct seemed to rear its head up and he turned to go in the cabin, exiting out of the front door holding a 9mm, semi-automatic in his right hand. Whoever the hell these strangers were, they were not coming near his home and especially near his woman – he did not care if they were having an affair!


	14. Going Home!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack meets old friends - new!

Chapter 14 – Going Home  
Jack watched the three figures as they came closer to the cabin. In the back of his mind, he felt as if he should know who they were and there seemed to be a hint that they were not there to do any one harm. He knew one thing – they were an odd looking threesome. One looked like a warrior with a tattoo in the middle of his forehead, the other looked as if he belonged in a college classroom in the ‘60’s and the other was either a really malnutrition child or an actor playing a part from mars. Either way, that one did not frighten him as much as the warrior did. Jack stood as still as stone, even when he felt the boards give as the three started up the porch towards him. He also knew there was someone else on the porch, he had not seen her, but he had smelt Samantha the minute she stepped out of the cabin and it was as if dominance crawled all through his body to protect her.   
Jack eyed all three of the strangers, trying to determine who he could take out first if he needed to. He knew he only had one chance, so he had to make it count and the big guy would have to be the one to fall first. Jack readied himself for the first blow, he would not use the gun unless he had no other choice, and yet he still felt as if something were telling him it was okay – that these people whomever they were – would not harm him nor his love. He watched them with wearied eyes and was taken about when the warrior called him by his last name – a name he had slightly forgotten until now.  
“O’Neill, Colonel Carter”  
And that was all he said and yet the look he gave Jack was as if he had known him his whole life, as if they were the best of friends. And why had he called Sam “Colonel”? Was she in the service and yet that made sense – he suddenly knew he was also. Oh God! That’s what it was!! They were in the service! That was why they were slipping around, why their relationship was as if it were in secret. They were not supposed to be together. He was correct in his assumption that they were having an affair but it was not because of a wife or a husband – it was because of damn regulations in the military. He knew she was not the only one in, he was too – that was the pull he felt every time he laid with her. It was drilled in him so much that he was not to fraternize with other military personal in his chain of command that he actually felt as if he were cheating on a woman.  
The weight of the realization would have taken Jack to his knees if the strong warrior had not realized he was falling and grabbed him beneath his arms. He slowly helped Jack sit on the steps and the three strangers and Sam watched as Jacks hands rubbed over his face, through his hair and finally rested, clasped behind his head, head bowed as if in desperation. The warrior watched his friend, knowing O’Neill had figured something out and the weight of it was almost more then he could bare. Kneeling before him, he looked at his friend and asked him a simple question.  
“O’Neill, do you know who I am?”  
Jack looked up at the warrior and the fact that the man no longer frightened him, made Jack realize that, yes, he was right in his first assumption – he knew this man and knew him well. From where he was not sure. If he was military, was it possible that this man was also? Was it possible that all of them were? Looking up, Jack studied the man with the brown hair and glasses. Yes, he knew him but he was diffenitily not military. As for the short one Jack would have been even more frightened of had the warrior not walked up here with him but because he had, Jack had to assume that where ever he was from, he knew this short grey little guy also. How, well he was not sure, and in the back of his mind he was not sure he wanted to.  
Teal’c watched O’Neill’s eyes wonder over the three of them and he watched while Colonel Carter stayed behind O’Neill but watched them all with interest also. He could tell she also recognized them but did not know from where. He had wanted to tear Loki limb from limb when he had gotten on his ship but Thor and Daniel stopped him. He did make it plain that if he had done anything at all to jeopardize either of their lives – he would be coming back for him and no one would stop him.  
“My name is Teal’c, this is Daniel Jackson and this is Thor. We have come to help you and Colonel Carter so that you may return home.”  
Teal’c gave the introductions and Jack seemed to know the men even more as he called out their names and for some reason, it did not shock him nor surprise him when the big guy called the grey dude “Thor”.  
With introductions being made, Jack stood up and waved a hand at the three strangers while heading to the door. Might as well invite them in – he knew the truth was about to come out and he wanted somewhere soft to sit while he soaked it all in. Sam hung on to him as if to let go of him would kill her. He knew she was in need again, he smelt it the whole time they had been on the porch. Whatever was going to take place with these three needed to be done and over with so he could take care of her. As they came in, he headed towards the kitchen, getting drinks for all. As if on instinct he did not even have to ask to know that the scholar would drink alcohol while the warrior would not. As for the little grey man – well he was not quite sure if he drunk anything at all.  
“Um not sure what kind of beverages you guys prefer but this is what I have – for some reason big guy, I just knew you didn’t drink alcohol. You, scholar boy, drink it but cannot handle it and as for you – um I don’t know what you drink, would you like to clue me in.”  
“It is fine, O’Neill, I do not desire any nourishment. We do however, need to hurry, Colonel Carter is in great need and cannot wait much longer. If you would like we can wait until you have finished taking care of that need to have our discussion.”  
So the little grey dude not only knew him and Sam but knew what she was going through. This was becoming weirder and stranger by the minute. And though he wanted the talk to hurry up and be done with – looking at Sam he knew she could not wait much longer. Damn to whatever had happened to him and her, damn the person that had caused it. If he knew where he could find them at, he was afraid to even think of what he might do.  
Jack looked at the three occupying his living room and then turned and looked at Sam. No matter how much he hated it – the little dude was right. He walked over to where she was sitting on the couch, legs drawn up to her chest. She was sweating and shaking as if she were coming off of a high and needed a fix. In the back of his mind, he knew it was the same thing, he reached down and picked her up and headed for the guest bedroom – the furthest room from where the guest was waiting.   
After Jack and Sam left the living room, Daniel started exploring. He found it strange that there was nothing at all to let Jack or Sam know of the life they led in the military. As a matter of fact, there was nothing in any of the rooms. There should have been something – at least clothes. After all Jack had come here with his uniform on – where was it now?? All Daniel could find was regular civilian clothing. Something was off.   
Going back into the living room and looking at Thor, Daniel told him what he had observed. Thor looked as if he were actually turning red. Realization dawned on him – his brother! Loki had taken all evidence of Jack and Sam’s military life out of the cabin – beamed it up so to say so they would not figure out where they were from. He would have to deal with him later, and deal with him he would!   
However, right now there were more pressing matters. He walked into the room that the Tauri called a kitchen and proceeded to look for items he would need to mix the potion he had brought with him. Aggravated, he called for help. It irritated the alien that there were some things he had to have help with because of who he was and being short was one of the things that irritated him the most.   
“Daniel Jackson, Teal’c, may I have your assistance please. I need to mix this formula before any more time passes. Colonel Carter is slowly becoming weaker and weaker and soon she will not be able to even sit up. The aphrodisiacs are causing her to become extremely overtired and her body cannot handle much more. She will get to the point where she will want to die if it is not soon stop. The pleasure left a long time ago. Now there is nothing but pain.”  
Daniel looked at Teal’c, saw the big man raise his famous eyebrow of understanding and proceeded to get the things that Thor needed. Daniel knew that Thor could have gotten the items himself with his abilities but he figured the reason he contained his abilities was because he did not want to freak Jack out should he come out of the back room. As Daniel watched Thor mix a rather ugly looking drinking in a bottle, he could not help but hear the cries coming from the back room. It sounded as if Sam was in pure pain. Then just as it became almost intolerable to listen to, he heard Jack soothing her to sleep.   
When Jack came out of the room, he did not stop in the front room nor go into the kitchen. Teal’c watched him as he stormed out of the front door, slamming it behind him so hard that Daniel was surprised it was still standing. Teal’c, seeing that Thor was no longer in need of his assistance, followed O’Neill.   
Jack was seething. It had gotten to the point where he could not even help Sam achieve an orgasm before she was burning again. Something had to give or she was not going to last much longer. He took his time beating the chairs and table on the patio and when he kicked the grill across the yard, he winced because it almost caught Teal’c in the head. He turned quick, the last think he needed was for this “new” old friend to see the tears that were escaping his eyes. God, he was so frustrated! Why could they not find something to help his love? It was tearing him up inside to see her like this.  
“O’Neill, do not be ashamed of the love you have for your woman. You do not remember the times you held me when I wept over my loved one but you have. Do not be afraid to show me the tears you cry for Samantha Carter. I know you well, and I would worry if you did not weep for her.”  
Jack looked over at Teal’c and before he realized it, he was on the ground, tears running down his face faster than rapids in a river. Teal’c was beside him in a flash and he held his friend as he cried for a love he could not remember completely.


	15. Unresolved Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor finally clears the cobwebs from Jack and Sam, leaving nothing but misery behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello…is there anyone still out there?? Let me start by saying I am so sorry that this took as long as it did. Things just seemed to keep piling up and sadly writing gets pushed to the back. I do hope this chapter was worth the wait and I will try to have another one up in a couple of days.   
> If you are still reading – thank you – I hope you enjoy and you don’t know how much it means to me that you are reading. If you get a chance to review – please do! It is not a requirement to read my stories but it does give me encouragement to keep writing.   
> I am not sure how long this story will go. Jack’s Samantha lasted 25 chapters and an epilogue – I don’t think this one will end at 25 but we will see. Now that school is through (Yes I passed, graduate with an AAS in Hospitality and a Certificate in Hotel Management) hopefully the chapters will be more frequent.  
> Thank you all again for your continued support – I love seeing each of you on my comments (when they show up!) haha

Chapter 15 – Unresolved Solutions

Jack knew he had to pull himself together. There was no way he could let Sam …um Colonel Carter see him like this. It was hard, there was no doubt about that. Not just the fact that he could not remember the times they had shared already, but knowing that they were not supposed to be sharing them and would not be sharing them again. Unless of course retirement was an option.   
But that made no sense. If he could retire, why had he not already? He knew, although no one had told him, that he was the senior officer of the two. For some reason it just made more sense. Even in the short time they had spent together sense coming back to the cabin, when she could, she talked to him as if he were in charge. Oh, there was love in her words but she gave him the respect of more than just a lover – it was if she was talking to an officer. And stupid him, it did not even dawn on him why.   
Teal’c watched Jack as expressions transpired across his face. He knew his friend was still upset about the way things had played out and he also knew – though he would never tell neither Jack nor Daniel, but he knew Daniel was beating himself up worse than Teal’c had seen him. Daniel was blaming himself for what had happened to O’Neill and Colonel Carter, even though Thor had explained to him that they would have been fine had his brother Loki not gotten involve.  
But Teal’c understood that because even though he had been against them getting involved with O’Neill and Colonel Carters love life, he was tired of them hurting and being angry with each other because that was the only way they could handle the disappointment of never being together. Looking at his brother sitting there on the steps, hands behind his lowered head and stress and worry on his face, Teal’c knew the only person to blame and he still had not finished with him yet. No matter what Thor said – he would be getting him a piece of – what was it O’Neill called them – oh a piece of little grey butt!  
About that time the screen door to the cabin opened and Thor walked out to where the two mean were. Watching him, Teal’c wondered what he had instore for the couple. He knew he had brewed something for Colonel Carter but this would take a lot of faith on O’Neill’s part. O’Neill still was not quite sure who Thor was, would he allow him to get close enough to help Colonel Carter? Teal’c hoped so because he felt if she did not get help soon, she may not make it.  
“General O’Neill, we must talk. I have something that will help Colonel Carter but I must have your permission to use it. She is not in a mental state to give me the permission.”  
“What will it do? Is it safe? How do I know it will not make her worse? I mean something here has harmed her already. How do I know you did not have something to do with that?”   
Jack rambled off the questions before Thor even had a chance to answer the first one. What was so bad about the questions, Thor knew General O’Neill was right about him having something to do with the episode that had happened. He knew and had known that he could not trust Loki. Yet he had allowed him to keep doing his experiments, accepting his apology each time he did something wrong. After all, O’Neill had already experienced one such mishap.  
Thor will never forget when he was transported to Loki’s ship because the danger alert had been activated and he saw SG1 there along with a mini Jack O’Neill. He knew before he even saw Loki strapped to the experiment table what had happened. General O’Neill was fine but for his clone – he was dying and to be honest Thor assumed that there was nothing that could be done for him. However, between he and Colonel Carter they were able to save the young O’Neill and send him off to live his own life. Thor knew for a fact that General O’Neill and Colonel Carter both kept up with the young man. O’Neill just to hang out with him because there was a bond between them and Carter more so because she knew how science was. The young O’Neill could be fine today and tomorrow be dying.  
Looking at General O’Neill, Thor figured it was time for him to be honest – both had to be healed and he knew that O’Neill was not going to allow him beside Colonel Carter without feeling secure about the healing process and him.   
“General O’Neill, my name is Thor. You know this not only because Teal’c has informed you of it but because in your language you consider us friends – close friends and allies. O’Neill, I am not from your planet Earth. I am what is known as Asgard. My home is on a planet called Halo, although there is not much left of it now.”   
Thor paused, watching O’Neill to see if he was following him or not. He knew that O’Neill liked to make people think he was dumber then he was but Thor felt confident that O’Neill would not do that at a time like this. So when the puzzled look passed across O’Neill’s face, Thor turned to Daniel Jackson to see if he good explain it more. Daniel calmly pointed to Teal’c for although he and Jack were close, Daniel knew for some reason that Jack would believe more of it coming from Teal’c. Teal’c gladly took up the challenge and plunged into the story.  
“O’Neill, you are a General in the United States Air Force. I will not go into your complete history but nine years ago, the Air Force enlisted you to take over a new program they called Stargate. You were hired to travel from one planet to another using a device and explore the new lands for allies or foes. You meet me on your second trip through the Stargate. I, too, am an alien. My home world is called Chulak but you saved my life and allowed me to come back to Earth with you.”  
Teal’c stopped talking to take a breath and before he could start again, Jack looked over at Daniel with a question.  
“You an alien also?”  
“No, I am from Earth but I am not in the Air Force, as a matter of fact, I am not in any service. I am an archeologist who was hired by the government to go on these trips with you to seek out life forms on other planets.”  
“For crying out loud, Daniel! You sounded like a recording. Can someone just tell me if what Thor wants to do to Sam will be safe?”  
“O’Neill do you trust me?”  
Teal’c asked the question and it seemed Jack did not even hesitate with his response.  
“Yes. I am not quite sure why but yes I trust you.”  
“Then I assure you, you may also feel confident that Thor will only do what is best for Colonel Carter and yourself.”  
Teal’c reached out his hand and helped pull Jack up off the steps. The three then went into the house and towards the back bedroom, leaving Daniel in the living room. No way was he going into that room when he did not know what condition Sam was in. He blamed himself so much for what Jack and she were going through. When they were back to their old selves, he would have to face the circumstances then. Yes, he knew he was not the reason she was in the shape she was in this very minute but if he had not pushed Thor to do something about their situation to begin with they would have been back on Earth, just fighting and fussing and loving from a distance. Was one really any better than the other? He was not sure but he would leave that choice up to them for now on.   
The three men reached the bedroom to find Sam curled up in a ball. Pain was etched across her face and Teal’c knew the same would be on O’Neill’s if he could see him. As it was, Jack had already reached the bed and was lifting Sam onto his lap. He did not tell her what was going on, he just looked at Thor and nodded his head. The next thing he saw was a needle point going into Sam’s arm. Before he had a chance to even realize that Thor had finished with Sam’s shot – he felt the prick of a needle in his own arm.   
Jack looked at Teal’c. Why had he been giving a shot? There was nothing wrong with him. Nothing some memory jolt would not fix and that was slowly coming back on its own.  
“I thought I could trust you. You Bastard!! What have you …...!”  
The last words died on Jack’s lips as he felt the pull of drug induced sleep pull him under. Teal’c looked puzzled over at Thor. He knew Thor would never do anything to harm O’Neill nor Colonel Carter so why had he put O’Neill to sleep? Thor saw the look on Teal’c’s face and just when the Jaffa raised one eyebrow and looked even more intensely at him, Thor thought it best to let him in on what he had done.  
“O’Neill needed to know the complete details of why he and Colonel Carter were here and what was going on. I thought it best to give him something to help bring his memory forward faster than it would on it’s on. He needs to know everything when Colonel Carter comes to. The antidote I gave her remedies her memory loss. It would not be a good thing for her to have her memory and O’Neill not have his.”  
Teal’c agreed, although he would have liked to have told O’Neill it was going to happen. But then again, who wanted to tell O’Neill he was getting a shot, no matter what planet, star, universe they came from. The thought of O’Neill hating shots brought back a favored memory of a dear friend. He will always remember when O’Neill would call Doctor Frazier the Napoleonic Powermonger. It did not take long until that had become his name for her like Junior had been the name of Teal’c’s symbiote. No, that was fine – Thor had the right idea, surprise O’Neill with the shot.  
Thor and Teal’c left the couple sleeping together on the bed and went into the living room where Daniel had prepared some food for he and Teal’c. Thor stated he did not need any sustenance as an Asgard did not need to eat as regular as a Tauri seemed to need to. While Teal’c and Daniel ate, they discussed what would happen once the two sleeping awaken. There was still the fact that they were in love and could not be together. The problem that had sent them to another world was still unresolved. It seemed to be forever, but finally Teal’c heard the noise coming from the bedroom area of someone moving around.   
Jack woke, feeling as if he had been sleeping for months. He knew he had not been. As a matter of fact, his mind was clearer than it had been in days. He looked beside him and saw Sam, and could not help the sharp intake of breath. She seemed so pale laying there beside him. So, it was true, everything they had gone through for the past forty-eight hours was true. He took his hand and pulled the hair away from her face and touched his fingertips across her check.   
“God, what was he going to do when they went back home? How was he supposed to live and not be able to wake up beside her every morning of his life?” Jack let the thoughts rumble through his mind. He already knew there would be no retiring, he had tried way too many times. Especially since the day they faced each other on the opposites sides of the force field. He had wanted nothing more than to go to her and tell her that he loved her and that she belonged to him. When her dad died, and he held her, he knew he would never love another the way he did her. But he also knew he could not ask her to give up her life for him. He had tried to retire and had failed. He had not known until the argument in his house that she also had been trying and they had not allowed her.   
It was a messed-up business when two people that were in love could not be together. But it was the life they both had chosen. How were they to know that their soul mate would be working with them under the same command? Jack got up and walked to the bathroom. After refreshing himself, he checked on Sam again and then headed to the living room. When he saw the three of them in there he stopped for a second while everything seemed to rush back into his memory. He noticed that Daniel refused to look up at him and he knew why. He remembered well the conversation he and Daniel had before all this had taken place. Now they were here on some remote planet and things had transpired between him and Carter that he knew would never be forgotten. At least he prayed not. He also prayed they could go back home and go back to working together as if nothing had happened.   
“O’Neill, I see you have awaken. Do you recall everything that has taken place since I came to your home on Earth?”  
“Uh…yeh sure ya betcha!”   
“I do not hold you at fault if you find yourself angry at me. It was I after all that transported you and Colonel Carter to this planet. I had assumed it was safe. I did not know it had been tampered with.”  
“No, you may not have known it when you beamed us here – but something tells me you know who tampered with it now.”  
Thor looked at Jack. Jack could tell he was truly sorry for what had happened to Carter. He could also tell that he did not want to tell him who was to blame and with that very thought, it hit Jack who exactly was to blame for what Carter had gone through.  
“You can tell your brother that right now I have more important things to take care of at home but I will be coming for him. You can hide him all you want to, Thor but he will pay for what he did to Carter. There is no just fixing his mistakes this time. He will pay.”  
“I understand O’Neill but we must talk about what will transpire once you and Carter go through the gate to return to Earth”  
“What gate! There is no gate! Carter and I were in the process of hunting for one when we ran into your brother’s booby trap!”  
Thor waited until Jack had finished stating what he thought was the obvious before he said anything else. However, before he could speak they were surprised by a small voice behind Jack who happened to still be standing in the doorway of the living room. Jack turned to see Sam standing there and he could not help it when he pulled her towards him. He knew she had awaken thinking the same thoughts he had. They were going back home to be alone again.


	16. Going Home - Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Sam regain their memories and have to face an ugly reality.

Chapter 16 – Going home…alone

Jack watched as Sam quietly sat on the couch and looked up at him, waiting. He knew what she wanted but when did they stop this? Then again, there was nothing wrong with two friends sitting beside each other when they needed the comfort of friendship. After all, SG1 had been doing it for seven years, why change now?  
Jack made his way to the couch and by instinct pulled Sam closer to him after sitting down. Regs be damn! No one needed to know what was going on here. Besides, they had already cut straight through the regs until there was nothing left of them anyway. After all, that would be evident in about nine months if Thor was correct and nothing had changed.  
Once Jack had settled himself and Sam was breathing normally, she looked over at Daniel and smiled. Not one of her special “Jack” smiles but a smile that she had just for Daniel. A smile that said “you can go on and blame yourself but you will be doing it on your own” kind of smile. She had seen the way he had avoided Jack and had felt the same tension when she had come towards him to sit on the couch. Sam knew what was wrong with him and now was as good a time as any to confront him about it.  
“It’s not your fault, Daniel. No matter what you may be thinking – none of this can I blame on you.”  
“Maybe not what happened to you in the last day or two, but Sam it was my idea for Thor to transport you and Jack somewhere so you could be together.”  
“And you would not have had to do that if the Government for which we fight to protect would have agreed to allow Carter or I to retire.”  
“And God, Daniel, do you ever think I could be mad at you for this? You helped give me my heart’s desire! Yes, I understand that once we go home, I will no longer be able to have this but you have at least given me something to hold on to until I can have it forever.”  
“I was only trying to give you what Sha’re and I had and what I wanted with Janet. I just didn’t want to see you and Jack lose your opportunity the way she and I did.”  
“Danny, I know why you did what you did and I may have been upset with you when I first realized what you and your accomplice here did (Jack sneaked a look at Thor, who seemed to actually look guilty) but I understand why you did it and I thank you for it.”  
Jack said the words to Daniel, meaning them, he had lost so much time with Sam – Carter already. What would happen to him if her life ended as suddenly as Charlie's had. Jack did not want to think about that. All he knew was he loved the woman sitting beside him and he would fight any government he had to keep her with him. A squeeze of his hand told him that Sam felt the same way. Jack then looked over to where Thor and Teal’c were sitting.  
“Alright, now to get down to brass taxes. Is Sam, um Carter – set right again? If I take her home is there going to be a relapse?”  
Jack asked the question while looking at Thor. He did not want to embarrass Sam but there was no way he was taking her home for those quacks to get a hold of her to experiment on. Jack had been in the middle of quite a few battles where he had actually hidden people from government officials so that they would not have to go through some weird wacky stuff just so his government could figure out what made them different.  
“Yes, O’Neill. Colonel Carter can tell you herself that she is well again. The effects of the aphrodisiacs are completely out of her system. She will only remember what they did to her and for that there is a drug I would give her but it may cause harm to the life form inside of her.”  
“Life form? Are you talking about a baby? Is he talking about a baby???”  
Daniel could not keep his head still – it was moving back and forth from Thor to Jack and Sam. The words were pouring out of his mouth so fast, Jack felt sure they had to trip over each other to get out.  
“Dannyboy, calm down. Our buddy Thor here is convinced that Carter and I are going to have a little Carter O’Neill running around.”  
“I hope we are”  
Sam said the words, thinking that she had said them only so she heard it but when Jack turned and faced her, she knew he had heard them too. At first she could not read his facial expression but then his face broke out into a grin that made her feel as if nothing would ever make her sad again.   
“I am sure O’Neill, there is no doubt that you and Colonel Carter will be bringing forth a new life form in 41 weeks. If you and Colonel Carter need me to, I can perform a test to confirm my knowledge?”  
“That will not be necessary, Thor. Just so you are sure that what happened to me in the past twenty-four hours has not harmed the fetus.”  
“No the trauma you experienced would have done nothing to the life form but caused excitement during distress but you and it should be fine. However, we must discuss going through the gate. I do not know how this will affect you, Colonel Carter nor the life …..”  
“Oh for crying out loud! Please folks it is a baby! Not just a life form. That sounds so cold and geek. The thing inside Carter is a baby – not just a fetus and not just some life form. It is our baby.”  
“I do apologize O’Neill. The … baby”  
Jack and Sam looked at each other. Not sure if they wanted to hear the rest of the conversation. They just wished that somehow, somewhere it could finally be okay for them to be the family they want to be. Going back through the Stargate was not only a new experience for Sam with a baby inside but she knew deep down that she was dreading the whole going home part.   
“I would transport you back to Earth in the same manner I transported you here but that will not be possible. I cannot transport an unborn life..baby.”  
Thor stopped and looked at the four faces in the room. They were his friends, all of them but he and O’Neill for some reason he could not understand had become closer than the others. And what he had to say next he knew it would dampen everyone’s mood – including his.  
“O’Neill, when I placed you and Colonel Carter on this planet, I placed Earth in a time-dilation field. Only Daniel Jackson and Teal’c knew I had done this and they were on my ship. I did this so that you might be able to find a solution for your situation. However, I did not know when I placed you here that my brother had been experimenting on this planet. He had been in the process of capturing DNA from Tauri to see if it may in some way be the cure to our own evolution. He did not know nor did he care that he may in fact harm a person instead of just learning something. When he finally informed me of your situation, I came as quickly as I could. I knew that once I had cured you both, that you O’Neill and you, Colonel Carter, would demand to go home.”  
Thor took a breath and waited. He knew he had to finish.  
“What’s the deal Thor buddy? You’re holding something back -out with it!”  
“The instant you and Colonel Carter step through the gate to go home, the time dilatation field will be interrupted and time will start again.”  
Jack knew Thor was still hiding something. It was plain to see that he had spent way too many years with SG1 – picking up some habits the Asgard never had before. Jack showed his impatience by waving his hand at Thor to continue talking.  
“Once time starts again – it will be as if time never stopped.”  
Jack looked puzzled at Thor and then turned to look at Carter when she let out a gasp. While he may not understand what the alien was saying – Carter’s brain did and from the look on her face, Jack was dreading to find out what he was trying to say.  
“Sir, (Sam said the word and Jack saw her shiver) what Thor is trying to say is that the minute we step into the SGC, everyone will know that we have been gone for four days and counting. We will be considered AWOL. There will be nothing that can stop this. It looks like there may be trouble waiting for us.”  
“Ya think, Carter?!”   
Jack snapped out the short sentence and stood up. He was angry but he had to admit to himself that he was angrier at the fact that she had called him Sir then at the fact that they may be facing court-martial. Because Jack knew that Sam would never have that on her record. He already had a plan laid out for that. She was innocent in the whole thing and there was no one who could say different.  
“Wait – they cannot do that. This was not either of your faults. You did not know you were being transported to another world and you sure did not know that Sam was going to be effected by alien influence. I will tell them.”   
“Oh and you think they will listen to you, Daniel? Come on – you know better that that. If there was anyone that our Government wanted court-martialed, it is I. And yet the jackasses will not allow me to retire. Go figure!”  
“O’Neill, I know you may think it is impossible but there has to be someone who will support you and Colonel Carter. What about General Hammond – can we contact him?”  
“We are not getting anyone else involved in this. We will go through the gate and I will take the ramifications of what needs to be done. Teal’c yours and Daniel’s job is to make sure nothing happens to Carter – is that understood?”  
“Jack, come on! You’re the General of the SGC now. You are not thinking clearly – they cannot court martial you for something you had no part in doing!”  
“Oh but Danny you are so wrong! They can and they will! But they are not going to do anything to Carter. I swear if any of the three of you allow her to be mishandled in any way what so ever – when I get out I will hunt you down and shoot you.”  
“No!”  
The one word stopped all communication in the room. Jack looked at Sam – who was looking straight at him. He knew before he opened his mouth that he was in for a battle but he would fight this one. There was no way he would subject her to what those idiots would want to do to her and want to place her.  
“Sir, I cannot allow you to take all the punishment. And I will not stand by and watch them dishonor you in that way.”  
He hated to do it but Jack knew one way to get her to go with him on this. Carter would never disobey a direct order.   
“Colonel Carter, I do not believe I left any room open for discussion. The decision has been made and as your commanding officer you …”  
“How dare you…. you pompous ass!”  
“Colonel”  
Jack said the one word and Sam remembered a time that seemed like it was forever ago when he had used that same tone when he had addressed her as “Captain”. That had been the first time she had spoken out against one of his decisions. She had flatly refused to allow a 16-year-old to be stoned to death. Jack did not like it but they ended up saving the young girl after Sam had beat her father in a knife battle. She shivered – not just from the memory of the fight but also from the way Jack said her title. He was mad and he was determined -she may not win this battle so easy.  
“Jack please – don’t do this. We need to go through this together, whatever the outcome, don’t push me aside. Don’t make this out to be just you.”   
“Oh Samantha – you don’t understand. I have two to protect now. I cannot do what I need to do if I am worried about you and our little runt. You need to stay out so that you can get me out. Only you and that brain of yours knows how to help me.”  
Before Sam had a chance to protest, Jack grabbed her and pulled her to him. The hug he gave her was full of emotions from both and he could feel her wet tears on his neck. Jack looked over at Thor and gave a simple nod of his head. While Sam stood there in disbelief and shock, Jack disappeared from her arms. He could still hear her screaming as he felt his body being ripped apart and then put back together on the other side.  
************************************************************************  
Alarms were going off all over the SGC and Walter watched as the iris covering the Stargate seemed to wobble and then give and when the lone figure walked through it, Walter could not help but gasp and hide his face as soldiers obeyed the simple order given from the man standing in front of the window. As Jack looked up to see the face of the owner of the voice, he knew already that this was not going to be as easy as the other three had hoped. There was no way Senator Kinsey was going to let him out of this. He felt the bindings as they were tighten on his wrist.


	17. Stubborn Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack will not give anything away besides snide remarks and Sam is ready to kill!

Chapter 17 – Stubborn Nature!

Jack looked around the gate room, into the faces of the men and women that he had laughed with, and went to war with. The same men and women that were celebrating with him less than a week ago because of his promotion. Yet here they stood, guns pointed at him, and putting restraints on him. He would never hurt any of them. That was one reason why it had been imperative that Sam not come back with him. Because he was not so sure that he would not have hurt someone if they had treated her the way they were treating him. But he could not blame them – the orders were coming from the man watching it all happen with that sinister smile plastered on his face. God, how he hated that bastard.  
Jack did not fight with the airmen – they were doing as ordered but he could see the distaste for the one giving the command on each of their faces. He just gave them each a look that let them know he knew who was at fault and he did not blame any of them. By the time a half hour had passed, he had been strip searched, questioned and thrown into a holding cell to “await transport to a more secure facility” was the words the Senator had used. Senator Kinsey was so mad he could bite nails in half and not just penny nails.  
Jack had not told him one thing that had happened within the past five days. Carolyn Lam had insisted on a medical exam but Senator Kinsey was putting that on hold until he got the General where he wanted him. His reasoning was simple – “Everyone on this base has hidden his and Major Carter and all the rest of SG1 faults from the world – well this time I got him and you are not going to give me some story about how ‘Alien Influence’ caused this!!”   
Carolyn just looked at the man and shook her head. She knew he blamed Jack for his lower status. After all it was Jack that proved to President Henry Hayes that Kinsey was plotting against his back to take his place. If it had been left to the Government, Kinsey would have been arrested and put in Federal Prison. But Hayes still had a deep hope for the man that had once been something like a brother to him and instead he lowered him from Vice President to Senator. Even that demotion had pissed Kinsey off so bad he vowed that Jack O’Neill would be dead before the year was up.  
This very statement was one reason Carolyn worried so much about Jack being held somewhere besides at Cheyenne Mountain. The Senator still had his hand in a lot of dirty pockets and with Daniel and Teal’c not at Cheyanne Mountain, the doctor wondered if there was anyone that would be willing to risk court martial to save the General. The knock on her office door jarred her from her thoughts. Whoever was on the other side would beat the door down if they had to wait another moment.  
“Who is it!” Carolyn called from her desk – she was not being rude but she had a lot on her mind and did not feel like listening to simple complaints that could wait.   
“Sorry to bother you but it’s Reynolds. Can I impose on you for a sec, Doc?”  
“Sure, come in”   
Lt. Colonel Reynolds could tell by her short reply that she was as aggravated with the turn of events as he and most the mountain was. Carolyn Lam had not been at the SGC for that long. She had filled in when Janet had first died along with two other doctors but was called back this year as CMO for the SGC. He did not know that much about her but he had liked her attitude the few times he had ended up in the infirmary and her attitude with Kinsey sealed the deal. The lady was a keeper for the SGC and seemed as if she could be just as quick with retorts and needles as Janet had been.  
Albert Reynolds slowly opened the door and poked his head in. He looked at the Doc as if trying to make sure he was safe and not going to get bitten in half. The look on his face made the doctor laugh and it actually felt good to let go of some of the tension. She knew that he was one of the guys that had fought beside O’Neill for almost five years. Since he had first met them at Groom Lake in Arizona, Reynolds was fascinated with SG1 and finally was approved to come to SGC. He would do anything for any of them.   
‘Was that why he was here now?’ Carolyn thought to herself. Had she been too quick to judge the men and women that had followed under General O’Neill’s command?  
“Dr. Lam, as you know we have a problem here with what is going on between General O’Neill and Senator Kinsey. I am going to be pretty frank about my thoughts because they match everyone else’s thoughts I have talked to since this happen. Carolyn, if Kinsey is allowed to leave this base with General O’Neill – we will never see Jack alive again.”  
“Yes, I know. I was thinking the same thing. But what do we do? If I could just examine him, I could prove there was something more to this. I haven’t known General O’Neill as long as you have, but I know him well enough to know that he would not just fly off and go AWOL without something being wrong with him.”  
“And the stubborn ass man will not say a word, which is not helping us either. If he would only tell us something. If he doesn’t remember where he was or doesn’t even know he was gone that would at least help but all that is coming out of his mouth is smart ass remarks to Kinsey – which I might add is not helping his case.”  
“Come on Albert, you know General O’Neill well enough to know that he isn’t going to give up information. Especially if there was someone behind what happened that he wants to protect. You also know that just for the fun of it, he isn’t going to tell Kinsey anything. He hates that man with the passion that a doctor hates an incurable disease. What I want to know is where is Teal’c, Dr. Jackson and Sam? If they were with him, why didn’t they come back with him?”  
“I don’t know? All I do know was the last time I saw any of them was at O’Malley’s. Sam and Jack were throwing words at each other that would kill most people. When I left, Daniel and Teal’c was trying to calm them both down because they had gotten so heated and upset that they were saying things in public about the SGC that they normally would not allow others to know.”  
“Just about the SGC or could they have also been arguing about the tension between them for the past six years, too?”  
“Um, Ok so you do see things! There are people that have been here as long as those two have that doesn’t see the sparks between them!! Yeah, that was the wick that actually set the dynamite off. But we sure don’t need Kinsey to know about that.”  
“Ok so let’s figure this out. First, we know that the General is of sound mind as of right now. The man is too much like himself not to be. Secondly, we also know he is hiding something. Thirdly, I don’t believe that Teal’c, Sam or Dr. Jackson are injured or dead because if they were, he would have come back demanding back up to go get them and bring them home. Kinsey stopping him would not have been an option, because if any of his team were in trouble, he would shoot Kinsey to get help to them. Now what we need to do is figure out what happened to the four of them when they left O’Malley’s on Friday night and trace it from there. We may be able to figure out what he is hiding and who he is protecting.”   
“Hey Doc, you don’t think Jack would have gotten one of our allies to help him with the Jack/Carter situation, do you? I mean Thor can pretty much do anything.”  
Carolyn sat there and stared at Reynolds as if he had another head just shoot out of his neck. It began to bother him to the point where he actually turned to look to see if there was something wrong with him. Then, before he realized what had happened, she jumps up and heads straight out of her office door. Reynolds, not wanting to be left out of whatever she had just thought up, jumps up and runs to catch up with her.  
“Dr. Lam! Dr. Lam!”  
Reynolds hollers out to the doctor trying to get her attention and finally, catching up with her he grabs her by the arm and turns her to face him. She was mad, more than mad, she was so angry she could be put in the running between her and Kinsey to see who was the angriest. If this had something to do with what he had said in the office, he needed to find out before they got wherever they were going. As mad as she was, would she remember that every cell in lock up was bugged. If Jack had used a friend to try to solve his and Sam’s problem – they didn’t need Kinsey finding out about it.  
“Carolyn, listen to me. Whatever you are thinking – watch you say it at. Remember the nut case has the whole place wired almost. If you think you know what may have happened to SG1 – we need to go somewhere that is not bugged to talk.”   
With that, Reynolds turns left at the next corridor and heads towards the locker room and showers. Checking the room to see if there was anyone present – he pulls her inside and then locks the door.  
*************************************************************************************  
“Is it just habit, or do you men – no matter what form or where you are from – even stop to take the time to think before you do what the other asks???? I swear I am going to end up shooting every one of you and him before this is over with. That is if someone hasn’t already shot him!”  
Sam stopped pacing and turned to face Thor. The anger in her eyes was only intensified by the unshed tears that she had yet to release. Oh, she had already shed plenty but Daniel did not think she would ever quit crying – if she did then she would turn cold and callous. Because if she was to ask him right now the question she had asked Thor and Teal’c earlier – he would have to disagree with the other two. No, he did not think they would ever see Jack alive again.


	18. Chapter 18

A woman’s scorn!

Jack sat like a lump on a log (as the saying goes!). He flatly refused to give into Kinsey’s intimidation methods. If he was trying to bait Jack into saying something, he was losing the battle real fast. Even though blood ran from his busted mouth and nose, his eyes were swollen shut and Jack was almost sure that the guy that punched him the last time broke at least one room, he was not going to give them even a groan. There was no way Jack was going to tell this bastard anything and Kinsey should have known that. They had been at this for over 48 hours with Kinsey leaving the room long enough to use the bathroom and take a two to three-hour nap. He was not going to reveal anything about where he had been and who had been with him. But credit had to be given to Kinsey also. He, like Reynolds, knew that Jack would not have left his teammates in trouble and not have come back demanding a rescue operation. So, where ever Carter, Jackson and Teal’s were – they were safe, for now.   
Dr. Lam and Carolyn stood outside the interrogation room, watching through the glass. In a way, they both was hoping that Jack would quit with all the cut throat remarks and give Kinsey a bone to chew on so that he would leave the base for a day. If they wanted any chance at all getting Jack out of his clutches, it had to be done while he and his goons were not around. Carolyn had told Reynolds that she felt sure their allies may know where the rest of the SG1 team were. No, she did not believe that Sam nor Jack would enlist Thor’s help but Daniel would in a heartbeat or he may even have enlisted Lya’s help. Carolyn knew when Sam or Jack would be hurt and in the infirmary, the other would never leave the side of the bed. She would watch the anger wash over Daniel’s face because of the position they were in, how they could not be together because of rules and regulations. She knew it made Teal’c mad also but Teal’c was a soldier like O’Neill and he would not do anything to jeopardize O’Neill’s love for his military -even if it meant him never being with the woman he loved.  
However, and this is the information she told Reynolds and wanted to say to Jack. If someone found a way to put them in a position where love had to come through to save them, they would do it in a heartbeat. Anger was the best way for love to push forward. People do the strangest and craziest things when they are in love and angry with each other. Reynolds telling her that Jack and Sam were angry and fighting the night they disappeared was exactly the reason she knew that they had finally given in to what they felt inside. If that was true – there was no way Jack would ever let Sam come back to the SGC because he would not allow her reputation and career to be ruined.   
Carolyn was also sure that something else has happened to Jack at least. She had noticed that there were times when someone would ask him a question and he would get this lost look on his face, like he really could not remember what they were talking about. She would say that it was just his attitude towards Kinsey and his henchmen, but she had noticed that he had that look on his face when the men or women that served under him would ask him something or try to make conversation with him. Jack would not have an attitude towards the regular airmen here, especially if he knew them. This worried the doctor but she was also worried because she knew Jack would take all the punishment in the world before he would give Kinsey any information, even if it meant death.  
She was still angry that Kinsey had not allowed her to give General O’Neill a check-up. If he did not soon come out of that room, she would take matters into her own hands and call someone higher up. Forget protocol – after all, it was their General that was being tortured. The marks on Jack’s face and hands were already turning black, purple had been yesterday’s color. She also knew from the way Jack was sitting that the two muscle men in the room had played tic tac toe on his stomach and sides. The damn man was just so stubborn. She had to get to him, somehow, someway she had to get him away from Kinsey.  
Just then the door to the interrogating room opened and Kinsey stomped out, screaming orders at one of the men following him. Reynolds and Dr. Lam looked at each other, both with fright shining in their eyes. They had to stop this, and they had to right this very minute!  
“I want him ready to be transferred within 15 minutes. Is that understood?!”  
“Yes sir – we will get the paperwork ready and be ready to go once it comes back from the official office.”  
Kinsey turned on the young man who had answered him and the man could not help it when he actually backed up.   
“I don’t give a damn about paperwork. I want him in a high secured truck right now and I want him on his way to where I am taking him by the time I get to my vehicle. Is that understood.”  
“But sir…”  
“Do I need to find someone else who can follow simple orders!”  
Carolyn saw the young man as he caved in. If they got Jack out of this mountain, he would not live through the night. She had to do something and do it fast. Reaching into her jacket, she pulled out her cell phone.  
“Hi Stacey, is my father in his office?”  
Kinsey turned and looked at her when he heard her talking on the phone. He was not so angry to not remember who her father was and where he worked. He would not allow this nosy little thing to get in his way. He finally had Jack O’Neill just where he wanted him and he would get revenge if it was the last thing he did. Reaching over to grab the phone from the doctor, he had a look of pure hate coming from his eyes. Just then he heard a voice that washed fear all the way through him.  
“Don’t even think about it!! Kinsey if you touch her I swear to all that is holy I will kill you where you stand!!”  
Looking over at Carolyn, Jack shook his head, telling her that she was to put her phone away. She knew she did not have to obey – after all, he was not her commanding officer right now but something in his eyes told her that it would hurt him more for her to make that call then anything Kinsey had planned. Kinsey turned to look at the man behind him and this time he was the one to back up. He looked at the men that were supposed to be guarding O’Neill and realized that neither were standing. “So the best way to get under O’Neill’s skin was to get someone in his clutches that O’Neill cared about.”   
Kinsey thought the words but Jack could actually see the malice all over his face. Noe that would not work either. He was giving him any information that he wanted and Kinsey was not going to hurt anyone on his watch. The best way to solve this was to get his ass out of the mountain and away from the men and women that were under his command. He knew Kinsey would not get to Daniel or Sam – Thor and Teal’c would make sure of that and Teal’c was like he – Teal’c would die before he would reveal anything.  
“Kinsey, I would suggest you leave my people alone. I will go where ever you want me to go but if you touch one person under my command, you will not live to harass anyone else.”  
“First off, you have no command anymore and second, are you threatening me?”  
“No I am not threatening you I am giving you a promise you can take to your grave.”   
Then Jack turned and looked at Reynolds. He saw the helplessness in the man’s eyes and knew that he too wanted to help Jack as much as any of the others did. He and Reynolds had not known each other before the SGC came about but when he met Reynolds at Grooms Lake, he came back and asked General Hammond to transfer the man here. He knew he would fit in well and they needed all the good men they could get going through the gate.  
“Reynolds – you are now in charge. If anyone, and I mean anyone, gets hurt by this swarmy piece of garbage before I can get him away from here, I hold you personally responsible. No one is to be called and you are not to send any one through the gate looking for the rest of SG1 – do I make myself clear?”  
“But General…Jack… you have to let me examine you. You have to allow me to call ….”  
Jack’s eyes cut over to Carolyn Lam and then went back to Reynolds. The man stood ramrod straight and Jack knew he had nothing to worry about. Reynolds was a good soldier – he would follow his command.

SJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJJJSSJJSJSJSSJSJSJJJSJSJJSJSJSJSJJSJSJ

Sam felt the vibrations as the beam transferred her from the planet to Thor’s ship. She tried to understand why he could transfer her to the ship but not to earth but she was tired, and aggravated. Not one of them had given her any hope when it came to Jack. She knew he was still alive now, the reason she knew was because she knew she would feel it when something did happen to him. It did not matter how many miles or galaxies separated them.  
Teal’c kept telling her that Jack was ok – he could get through this – he was a survivor. But Sam knew Jack and knew that Jack would give his life before he would give up on their position. She wanted to be there with him – that’s all she wanted. Together they had come through so much and that was why. Because as a team they had always could get through anything. She also knew that when they faced things alone, it was harder to get through it. How was Jack going to get through this without their help? Without her or Teal’c or even Daniel.  
When Sam realized, she was on Thor’s ship, she looked around to see if the others had made it yet. Then she saw him, standing there, behind the controls of the ship. The fury was wrapped so tight inside of her that she jumped before she even thought about it. By the time Teal’c had gotten on the ship, Daniel was trying unsuccessfully to pull her off Loki. Teal’c hesitated for a moment and then seeing the look on Thor’s and Daniels’ eyes, he calmly reached and down and picked Sam up. The tears were running down her face as fast as the words were rolling out of her mouth. She made it plain to Loki that he was living on very little time and if Jack did not make it – she would dissect him herself and sell him piece by piece to every museum and science lab she could find.  
At the request of Daniel, Thor finally gave Sam a shot that would not harm the baby and she was soon fast asleep. The day was not over but so much had happened that Teal’c and Daniel both decided to find some place to bunk also. Teal’c knew that the fight to get O’Neill back was just starting – and it would be a long one. However, if the men fought with the vengeance that the two women that knew Jack had fought with, Jack would be fine.


	19. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear friends! I am so sorry for the long wait! I hope you have all stayed with me – quite a few things have gone on in my RL and writing had to be put on hold. Please know that I will always finish a story once a start one so it may take a while for me to get a chapter up but the story will be finished eventually. Of course, none of us are ready for this to end, are we?
> 
> To those who have been keeping up with my sister – she was due to come home last Friday but due to circumstances out of our control, she is in for at least another month. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I would also ask that you do the same for my brother – they will be testing him next week for colon cancer. Thank you!
> 
> Now just a thank you again to all my readers and reviewers or just readers – you will never know how much your words help me to carry on with my story and my life. So, a heartfelt thanks to each of you!

Jack was gone. No matter how much they had all fought to try to keep him in the mountain, Kinsey won in the end. They had dragged him away like a dog going to a shelter and not a one of the Airmen inside the mountain had been able to do a thing to stop it. Reynolds had obeyed Jack’s final order and stopped anyone who attempted to interfere. Reynolds was so mad that he had destroyed the briefing room and his office. He had only stopped when he had to finally go see Carolyn to have her tape up his hands. What made him so mad was the fact that he had stood by and allowed it to happen, because he had followed a direct order from someone who was not even allowed to give orders anymore. He knew he could have chosen to disobey it, no one would have blamed him. But how would he have been able to look at Jack again if he had.   
He knew that everyone had looked to him to help Jack and when he had not stopped Kinsey, yet stopped everyone from helping - the whispers had begun and it was still going on. Was he with Kinsey? Did he want Jack gone so he could take over? Would he even try to get in touch with someone to help the rest of SG1? Would he stand by and let Kinsey kill Jack and not get in touch with the President? The thoughts ran through his head. Thoughts that he was thinking about his self-thoughts the others hadn’t even thought.  
Carolyn stood in the doorway and watched Colonel Reynolds as he ran his hands through his hair and then caressed the back of his neck – worry lines etched on his face. She knew the thoughts that were probably collected in his mind but surely, he had to know that not everyone on the base believed what he thought they did. Yes, there were those that thought he had allowed Jack to be taken just a little too easy but then there were those that knew that Albert Reynolds was an Airman through and through. It did not matter if Jack had been in the process of being court-martialed, to Reynolds he was still his commanding officer and therefore he would obey him until his last breath was gone.  
“Colonel, you need to eat. You cannot take the pain meds I have given you for your hands if you do not eat. You haven’t eaten anything for forty-eight hours when Jack left the base. We need you and if you don’t eat and sleep – how are you going to make the decisions we need you to make?”  
Reynolds turned around and looked at Doctor Lam. He studied her as if he were studying an art exhibit. He saw no hint of hatred or contempt in her eyes. Maybe there were a few that understood why he had allowed to happen. Carolyn smiled a small smile when she saw the look cross his eyes, knowing she did not judge him. Carolyn and Albert were good friends, had been since before she was transferred to the mountain. He had worked with her a little at Grooms Lake and was glad that she had been elected to come to Colorado. She too like Colonel Carter was a service brat. Both had fathers that were Generals in the Air Force and both had hurting hearts when it came to their fathers.  
Reynolds was shaken from his deep thoughts when he heard Carolyn call his name again. She had said something again about eating. How could he tell her that he felt if he tried to eat, it would come right back up? He did not even know if it would get past his throat let alone into his stomach. “God, I am such a freaking wimp!” Reynolds thought he had said the words to himself but Dr. Lam was quick to make a remark to him.  
“You know, Colonel, no matter how weak you think you may be – you did exactly what anyone in your position would have done. We all would have obeyed General O’Neill no matter what he would have told us to do, except taking a life. And we would not have had that to worry about because General O’Neill would not have asked any of us to do that. As for not being able to eat because you feel like your stomach is in knots – we all feel that way. We just watched a damn good man get treated worse than a killer by a man that is worse than a snake. It’s not easy to swallow. You could do nothing. General O’Neill would have fought you had you tried to stop Kinsey. He is not going to allow anyone to lose their position or their life because of him.”  
Albert watched as Carolyn walked into the briefing room and put the tray down that he had not even noticed she was holding. Pulling the chair out at the end of the table, Carolyn pointed at him and then at the seat and he knew there was no sense in trying to get out of it. She was that much like Janet. She would stand right there until he had eaten every crumb on that plate if she had to and then she would wait a little while longer to make sure it went down. Reynolds shook his head and headed to the chair. If there was one thing Stargate Command could be proud of – it was the damn stubborn Chief Medical Officers that had been assigned there. There were none better.   
That only made him think again of Jack – no matter how stupid Jack tried to make people think he was, everyone knew he was one of the smartest and bravest man alive. Stargate should be damn proud to have him. They sure should not be allowing someone like Kinsey to treat him or the rest of SG1 the way that he does. Earth had been saved countless times by all of Stargate’s teams but SG1 seemed always ready to go into whatever danger they had to and make sure Earth was still there when the battle was over.  
The two of them sat there in silence for about ten minutes and then several high-ranking officers and airmen begin filing into the briefing room. He watched as each of them either sat down at the briefing table or found places to prop against. After what seemed as if every male and female that was assigned to Stargate had entered the room, Ferretti spoke.  
“Colonel, now that all of the spies have left the mountain and all that remains are people that care about Jack and the rest of SG1 – what are we going to do to get them home. We all understand why you allowed Kinsey to take Jack – we would have done the same if he had asked us to. But that still leaves three out there that we need to find out where they are and how to get them home without Kinsey knowing.”  
“We start by getting in contact with our allies. We already know that for them to be somewhere where we haven’t found them, they must be hidden. Unless of course Ba’al has them but we have all agreed that if they were in danger Jack would have come back through the gate demanding a search and rescue party. He sure as hell wouldn’t have just handed himself over to Kinsey like he did.”   
Reynolds looked over at Walter and was as shocked as the rest of the room as the words spewed out in angry waves. In all the years, he had worked at Stargate command, he had never seen Walter this angry. Worried yes, but not angry. Looking at the man now – it looked as if he himself were ready to go through the gate and find someone to set things straight.  
“I don’t know what to do. Jack’s last comment to me was not to bring them home. He was afraid of Kinsey finding out they were here and using them. Should we even try to find them. To be sure they are safe or Jack would not have left them, so do we bring attention to them?”  
“Well, I do know that one of the smartest brains, if not the smartest brain, is somewhere other than here and God knows we need all the help we can get to get Jack out of the mess he has gotten himself into. We have to find them and bring them home or our chances of saving Jack just plummeted”   
Ferretti said the words and there was a chorus of agreement around the room. Looking over at Reynolds, he saw the look of defiance battling with the look of obeying an order. He had to admit that he was glad he was not in Reynolds boots at this moment. It was only because of his defiance in obeying direct orders that he had not been giving command of Stargate when Jack left. Jack had known that Ferretti would have laughed in his face and then shot Kinsey right there in front of everyone. Damn, the man had too much common sense.  
“I want to do something to bring them home. We need them here and we need the help but where do we start. We cannot use the chatter boxes or someone will inform Kinsey – you know he has people everywhere. We are going to have to be discreet about it. Dr. Lam has already conferred with me that she feels one of our allies is involved in the disappearance of Teal’c, Sam and Daniel. Would you like to tell us how you came to that conclusion, Dr. Lam?”  
"We all know that there is a deep friendship between the four SG1 members, and in some eyes, there is an even deeper friendship when it comes to General O'Neill and Colonel Carter. (several people agreed with her on that point but no one said anything that would be put Jack or Sam in danger of a court-martial) My point is that while the two of them would do nothing to jeopardize the other ones military career, I am almost positive that Daniel is tired of their cat and mouse game. If what Albert tells me is true, and the argument broke out at O'Malley's – Daniel may have been at a breaking point and enlisted Thor to help him put Jack and Sam somewhere that they had to face the fact of how they felt."  
"So, what you are saying Dr. Lam is that you feel that Thor may have put Jack and Sam somewhere safe until they could figure out a way to (using fingers for italics) solve the problem that they were having? But something must have gone wrong or Jack would not have come back without Sam and where is the other three and why didn't Teal'c and Daniel return to base when this all started?"  
Ferretti searched Carolyn Lam to see if she could answer his questions when a voice from the door way caused all the military men and women in the room to stand at attention.  
"I can tell you why Jack came back. Because for some unexplainable reason the idea that Daniel had thought out so carefully, under my supervision, did not go per plan. Jack came back alone because he knew that he and Colonel Carter would be held for court-martial and he would not allow Sam to ruin her career. The stupid jack-ass. Now he has gone and got his ass in a fine mess with Kinsey. So, let's see what we can do to get him out of it. And no, before you ask, the President is not aware of the circumstances but we are going to try to solve this without getting him involved. We may need him later to handle Kinsey.  
Standing in the doorway of the briefing room, looking cooler than a cucumber straight out of a refrigerator stood none other than General Francis Maynard, the Head of the Joint Chief of Staff and the Presidents ear through and through.


	20. Lost Cause

Chapter 20 – Lost Cause

He watched her, his heart crying just as he knew hers was. She was crying for her lover and friend, he was crying for the both him and her. That life had been so unfair to them to begin with was bad enough, but now, now when they had a chance to be together – it still would not leave them alone. He could not help but wonder if Loki had never messed with the planet they had been on, would there had even been a reason for their chance to end? But he also knew that his “brother” would never have been happy not be able to go back home to Earth and he knew that Colonel Carter would have been the same.   
Sam knew there was someone behind her and when she did not hear nothing for quite a while, she knew it was Teal’c. If it had been Daniel, he would have approached her by now and said something but Teal’c could stand for hours and it was hard to even hear him breath. She knew he was pitying her. Even though she had told them not to, they all still looked at her with the same eyes. She knew she should not feel the way she did, she knew she should give them what they wanted. “Eat” they said. “Sleep” they said. “If not for you, Sam you need to do it for the baby, Sam” God she was so tired of hearing that. Tired of not being able to do what she wanted to do. Why had Jack thought it would be so much easier for her to stay here and survive then to go with him and die.   
Because surely that had to be what happened. It had been three weeks since Thor had transported him back to Earth. Three weeks of not knowing what was going on, if he was okay – if he was even alive. Jack would not leave her this long, with her not knowing what was going on. With him not knowing whether or not she was ok, if the baby was ok. Unless he had no other choice and if he was in trouble then she needed to be there. She needed to be where she could help him. But there was no hope for that. Thor had made it plain that he would obey General O’Neill’s last request to the end. “After all, O’Neill had saved his people” was his comment. She was quick to remind him that Jonathan Jack O’Neill was not the only one that had saved his people but Thor seemed not to hear that part.  
Finally, she could hold back the frustration any longer and seeing as he was the only one standing there – she lashed out at Teal’c. Someone who had always been there for her was the one to catch her anger and he took it in stride.  
“Teal’c, my god! Do you not have something else you could be doing besides staring at me as if I am a helpless woman?”  
“Colonel Carter, I have never in all my time of knowing you ever considered you a helpless person. I would let you know that I am here if you need to talk.”   
“Yeah because talking really helps the situation, doesn’t it? Well, let’s just pop a squat right here and have a nice little campfire conversation about how we are sitting up here floating around in the atmosphere while Jack is going through God knows what with God knows who!! Do I need to talk? My what a strange question. No! I don’t need to talk. I need that little grey butt over there to take me to where Jack is before I kill his brother for screwing up what may have been the best thing for me and Jack!”  
By the time, Sam had finished screaming at Teal’c, they were not the only two in the observation room. Loki was hiding in a corner, frightened for his very life, Daniel was looking questionably back and forth between his two friends and Thor looked as if he might just disobey O’Neill’s last request. Sam was barely standing and was pulled into Teal’c’s strong arms just before she hit the floor. The tears would not stop and the anger was still there and no matter how bad she wanted to tell him that it was not his fault – she wished to God Daniel had never talked Thor into transporting her and Jack to another planet.  
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJS  
Jack felt the bone break but he refused to cry out. He had had broken bones before – last time he counted he was up to fourteen. That was quite a way from the nine that he had told Sam – Carter what seemed like ages ago. God! That was ages ago! If only he had started putting in request then to retire, maybe he would have been fortunate enough to been allowed to do it. He could admit to himself now that even then he had had feelings for his Captain but they had pushed it aside. Now it was too late.  
Jack was brought back from his memories when another sharp pain ripped the other shoulder out of place. They were getting nasty now. He knew he would not be able to last much longer – they had been at this for so long that he had lost all sense of time. The bones that weren’t broken were bruised and his skin was cut and bloody. And yet he still gave nothing out. He had slipped a couple of times, thinking he was back in the prison cells in the Middle East, and had recited his old service number. But he soon came back to reality, realizing the hard truth, this was not aliens nor was it terrorist that were attacking him this time. This was th sorry s.o.b’s that he was risking his life for every day. That the men and women he worked for were risking their lives for.  
“Jack, we can continue this for as long as you want us to. I will not give up until I get the information I seek. Just three things is all I need from you. One, how did you get the ancient information downloaded into your brain and then removed. Secondly, where do I find your team mates so that I may court martial Carter, send Teal’c to Area 51 for the scientist, and have Daniel locked so he can never interfere with my plans again. Third, you will tell me where the Asgard home planet is. Oh, the information when could gain from them to begin the leading planet is unbelievable.”  
Jack looked at Kinsey as if he had finally lost the little bit of brains he did have. Did he really think for one minute he would give up his team? His friends, let alone his lover?  
“Kinsey, you can break every damn bone in my body but you won’t gain any information from me. As for where my team is – hell I don’t even know where they are. And if I did – you would be living with a snake in your head before you would get the answer from me!”   
The retort cost Jack a hard punch across his broken ribs and he could feel his consciousness slipping away. His last thought went to Sam and the baby. He prayed as he had every day since this had started ‘God don’t let me give her and my child away – please let Thor stick to his promise, no matter how hard she tries to come to me!” And then Jack was gone and this time, whether it was because God had said it was enough or if the captors had grown tired, they did not wake him up. He hung from the chains on the wall like a broken ragdoll.  
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJS  
The table was crowded, not a chair was empty and the wall of the conference room was barely able to be seen because of the crowded bodies surrounding it. Every SG team from two all the way to sixteen was present. Every one of them there to report that they had had no luck trying to find SG1. The men from the Special Forces unit located in Virginia was there also – to report that they had had no luck tracking General O’Neill at this time but they felt they would find him. Their chances of finding him seemed much greater than the chances of the SG teams finding SG1. Every person in the room had stated several times that they would not quit searching until they were found – all four of them.   
Colonel Reynolds listened to each person and as he assessed the situation, Carolyn saw the worry grow more on his face. She knew what he was going through. Every person on the base knew how he felt but they had to believe that they would find their friends, they had to believe that or all hope would be lost.  
Walter came into the conference room and said something to Reynolds who at first looked as if Walter was playing a joke and then he jumped up and ran to the control room – followed by every person that could fit in there. On the screen in front of them was an Asgard but Reynolds knew it was not the Asgard he had been hoping for. There really was not much difference when it came to the Asgard’s looks but he knew Thor and this was not him.  
“How can we help you?” Colonel Reynolds asked the question hoping that it was in fact the alien that could help them.  
“Is O’Neill no longer in charge of this base?”  
So, that answered some questions, the Asgard knew no more about Jack then what the SGC knew about SG1. Hopefully this Asgard at least knew where they could find their missing team.  
“General O’Neill is not present at the time. I oversee this facility. Do you have information regarding our missing team members?”  
“I do. I know where they are but I cannot send them to you. My brother will not allow them to leave where they are without direct order from O’Neill. Is there no way you can get a message to him?”  
Everyone in the room heard the groan that escaped from both Reynolds and Ferretti. So, it was Loki they were speaking with. Did that help matters or make them worse. They, as had other members of the SGC had learned that when Loke was involved with something – the outcome was never great.   
“Loki, I am Colonel Reynolds. Has something happened to Colonel Carter, Doctor Jackson or Teal’c? If you know where they are, you need to give us this information now!”  
“There is nothing physically wrong with any of the three you mentioned. However, their emotional state is reaching high levels – I am most worried for Colonel Carter. You must tell O’Neill to release Thor from his obligation or I am afraid for her and her child’s safety.”  
Colonel Reynolds looked over at Dr. Lam. What was Loki talking about?   
“Dr. Lam did you give Colonel Carter an evaluation before SG1 left on their last mission?”  
“Yes, they were all fine and there was nothing to indicate Colonel Carter expecting.”  
Then Reynolds watched a long of dismay cross over Carolyn Lam’s face. He dreaded to hear what she said next.  
“Wait, we are forgetting that time stopped for us here but it did not for Jack and Sam. It has been over a month since they left here to go to celebrate at O’Malley’s.”  
“In other words, it has been long enough that Jack and Sam could be expecting a little one?”   
The words came from General Maynard. The look on his face was one of complete calm and control yet Reynolds wondered if that was the way he was feeling on the inside. He too had had been searching for O’Neill with no good results.  
“There is only one choice left for us now. We must inform President Hayes of the situation. He has resources that I do not. He may be able to locate Jack. What can you tell us of where the other members of SG1 are at?”  
Loki did not have a chance to answer General Maynard. Just as he started to give the latitude and longitude of the star that Thor was circling, everyone on base saw the Asgard shriek away as a grey hand reached over him and turned off the intercom. There would be no more contact from Thor or the Asgard again, Reynolds and General Maynard both knew this. They had seen Thor’s face and for him to be an alien and Jack to be human – the look of determination matched them both.


	21. Dream Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I am proud of myself! I was able to push through and bring my wonderful readers a chapter sooner than I thought I would. Mr. Muse is a very cruel person, so I will understand the anger in the reviews. LOL. I will let you know – as some of you who read Jack’s Samantha already knows, I try to stay as close to the time-table as possible but I do stray once in a while, as the story fits.  
> I would once again thank each and every one of you – both readers and reviewers – you will never know how much your words mean to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.   
> I wanted to let you all know that I have finally gotten a website somewhat together and there is other things besides just fanfiction on it. If you would like to check it out – let me know and I will be happy to give you the address.  
> Again – thank you all and I would say enjoy – but I am not sure you will!

Chapter 21  
Jack knew that things were getting to the point where death was closer than life. The fight was not even fair anymore – “not that it ever was”, he thought bitterly to himself. The smart-ass comments were gone and the begging (he hated to admit it) was starting to become a good idea – although he had not reached that point yet. At one time the thought of deserting would have never crossed his mind but he could not help but wonder if he made it out of this mess alive – would he be willing to report in. After all, it seemed the friends he had left here on Earth was not making much of an effort to find him.   
‘Now Jack, you know damn well you told them not to send anyone to you because you were not going to risk anyone else getting court-martialed or worse yet – winding up dead, so lay off.’ ‘yes, but now really – how many of us at the SGC really follow orders? To be sure I am not the only one that crosses the line.’ The thoughts went back and forth – fighting within his mind but at least he was awake enough to do that. The last torment session (he would call it that) was not fun at all – not that any of them were. But Kinsey and his goons had gotten really mean and dirty and there was not a place on his body now that had not been violated. He was broken, bruised, bleeding, and burned. Parts of him he knew would never be the same and he prayed that his mind was not one of them.   
He had realized when he had awakened that morning that the dream he had was just that – a dream. He was so into it that when the cold, gray walls of the dungeon they had stuffed him in became clear in his vision – the reality of it almost destroyed his last sense of hope. It had been such a wonderful, warm feeling. Holding her against him, feeling her heart beat. Tracing the tiny fingers that clung to one of his huge fingers while the others were sucked happily into her little mouth to be suckled on. He had known it was his child, his little girl. There had been no doubt about it. She had looked just like her mother.  
His Samantha. God! How he would give anything to feel her near him. To feel her body, as it tightened up just as she reached the point of release. Watch her as she grew large carrying his child. Be with her when the first movements of the baby caused her to giggle. Maybe he had played it wrong, maybe he should have allowed her to come with him. Maybe she would have been his ticket out of here. Hell, she was the smartest person the world had ever known. He had told her that once. Sitting on his couch in the cabin. He had told her that without her, not a damn one of them would ever make it back home, alive. And yet he felt he did the right thing make making her stay away. And in the back of his mind – he knew he had.  
Jack was jerked from his thoughts as he heard the key turn in the lock. He had been hoping that maybe the psychopath had decided to take the day off but he was wrong. As they loosened the chain that had him pinned to the wall, he prayed in the back of his mind for unconsciousness. Or death.   
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
The room was quiet as the General watched President Hayes. The look on the President’s face did not reveal much but General Maynard had been around President Hayes enough now to read his eyes, not his body. And right now, his eyes were saying so much that even the fighting man that the General was, he was glad he was on the Presidents side.   
“You know what Francis, when I hear people talk about enemies – I expect them to put a name there that I don’t know. I don’t expect to be talking about someone I grew up with – was best friends with most of my life – as an enemy!!   
“I know you are upset Mr. President and I …”  
“Upset – Hell! Upset is when you rip your favorite jacket or spell your coffee first thing in the morning. Upset doesn’t even cover how pissed off I am right now! When he was here in my office last year and we were talking about the Goa’uld, I never thought that I would find someone I distasted more and trusted less than them. I knew he had some dirty ways, most politicians do – but to take a man who has saved his ass and mine countless times and do God knows what to him.”  
“Mr. President, I take the blame for not bringing you in on this sooner. I will not give excuses but I will be blunt. General O’Neill does not have much time left. The look and determination that Kinsey had on his face when he dragged General O’Neill from the SGC – he will kill him, Sir. Even if General O’Neill gives him what he wants, I have a feeling he will kill him anyway.”  
President Hayes looked up at General Maynard as he made this last statement. Shaking his head, he picked up the phone and dialed a number. General Maynard sat patiently while the President made several such calls. He had been correct in telling the SGC that the President had resources that no one knew of. Hanging up the phone, the President stood from his seat and walked towards the door. General Maynard was quick to follow him and was surprised when the President begin the long walk to the landing pad on the Whitehouse lawn. Not sure what he was up to but not about to question him, General Maynard walked quietly behind his Commander and Chief - praying the whole time, his thoughts never leaving General O’Neill.  
Two hours later, the chopper landed outside a military base that General Maynard knew had been shut down several years before. There was surprise shown on his face when dozens of military units poured out from the barracks and came towards the President. The General had known of this place, had known that most of the military men and women here had been trained in black ops – and had even been believed to have died for their Country. They knew it was a better way to keep others from finding out about their operation. Being prepared in case the Goa’uld or something worse invaded their homeland. The President could not believe he was having to call them out again on a secret mission, this time against a fellow American.  
But Maynard knew the President was the only one who could invoke the protocol to bring these men and women into action and he was planning on doing just that. Leading the men and women out was a young man that General Maynard knew very well and the last time he had seen him, he was leading on air strike on a bunch of nasty Goa’uld and bad guys. He had come close to losing his life, in fact some thought he had. However, the grin on his face alone showed the General that he was not only alive and in great shape, but they all were ready for whatever mission the President had laid out for them. Suddenly the fate of Jonathan Jack O’Neill did not look so grim.  
“Alright people – listen up! We have a man out there and we need to find him. He is somewhere right here in our own backyard. I am leaving it up to Colonel Mitchell to lead this investigation but I want this man found and brought to me – no matter who you must take down in the process. Is that understood?”  
“Sir, may I ask who it is we are looking for?”   
The question came from Mitchell and President Hayes had hoped he would not have to tell him. The Colonel had looked up to SG1 since he had read their mission files while lying in a private room in the back of a Marine hospital. When General O’Neill, at that time Colonel O’Neill, had visited the young man in the hospital – the President had been told that was the turning point in the man’s survival. His goal had been to fight side by side of SG1 until General Maynard and Colonel O’Neill had talked to him about coming here and being a special unit of fighting Black Ops. Someone that SG1 and the SGC could call on if there was ever a foothold situation, again.   
“Its General O’Neill. I need you to find him and bring him to me.”  
“Sir I would never dispute anything you say to me about anyone but please do not stand there and tell me that General O’Neill has gone against this Country. I will not believe that.”  
“No son, someone has taken him prisoner and he should not have. He is being tortured for information as we speak and General Maynard has informed me that he is running out of time. So, I would suggest we stop talking about him and go find him. Can you do that?”  
“Yes’ Sir!”   
Before the President had stepped back onto the chopper, General Maynard had filled in the teams with what information he had and Colonel Mitchell had begun the distribution of where each team was to hunt. The look in the young man’s eyes seemed to match that in the Presidents earlier and General Maynard almost felt sorry for the bastard when Mitchell would find him. Because there was no doubt now – General O’Neill would be found and as for Kinsey, the chances of him making it out of this one – well, General Maynard was glad he wasn’t in his shoes.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Jack felt the slam against the wall but his eyes would not open. He knew he was back “home” again. The time with Kinsey and his goons did not seem to last as long but Jack would never complain – it had lasted long enough for him to hurt again in places he thought he would never feel again. The broken bones that had started to heal had been rebroken and the things that he had gone through in a prison in the middle of Iraq, well those things were kind compared to what he had just experienced. So a little less time was a prayer.  
Kinsey had been distracted by what he was doing when a young man had approached him and whispered something to him. Jack had heard President Hayes mentioned but he could not tell what else was being said. All he knew was that after Kinsey received that message – his torture time was over and he could not help but be very grateful to the messenger.   
As he laid his head against the cold stone, he felt his mind begin to drift again. Back to Sam, Daniel and Teal’c. He still prayed every day that no one had found yet where Thor had taken them. He prayed even harder that Thor was strong enough not to give in to the demands of the three of them and bring them here to Earth. He knew how easily Daniel and Carter could bend someone into believing they are correct and nothing else matters.  
He felt his body start to relax and knew that sleep was coming. He only allowed himself to do this because after years of experience, he knew the only way to stay strong was to allow his body to rest. Besides if his dreams allowed him to escape this hell-hole just for a few hours then sleep would be a blessing. As he felt himself drifting off, he saw her again, the tiny bundle that he had seen earlier. She was such a cute and wrinkled little thing, not at all like Charlie had been. Charlie had been long and lean – she was tiny, just big enough that you would have to use both hands.   
Jack knew he had passed out when the sleepy eyes of the babe in his arms opened and his breath caught as her beautiful blue eyes bore into his brown ones. As he took a deep breath and gave in, the thought crossed his mind that maybe he had been just good enough to make it to Heaven.


	22. My Only Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Here is another chapter and I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to AlIMOO1971 for the idea. I liked it and it came in handy – Judith (JackGyver), there is a surprise waiting for you!   
> Guys the reviews and kudos are awesome – thank you so much!

Sam knew that voice. It still haunted her even when she was awake. The dreams had turned to nightmares but the voice had remained calm and soothing. Not allowing itself to be taken over by her fear, he always left her calm and at peace when he talked to her. But why was she hearing it so clearly, as if it was not coming from her mind but beside her instead. Was he here? Had he somehow escaped the fierce grasp of hate and come at last to her?  
Sam turned when it sounded as if the voice was right behind and her heart fell. She should have known it had not been that easy. But then if he could find them, why could the SGC not find them? Or was the SGC even looking for them? Had they given up on rescuing them? After all, it had been 7 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours and 18 minutes since Jack had left her in Thor’s care. Her heart told her he was still alive, her mind told her different – sadly, she had started leaning more to her mind instead of her heart.   
Sam instinctively placed her hand across her belly, as she reached up to hug the young man standing in front of her. She could not believe how much he looked like Jack. In the one year since he had been made – Thor had increased his growing speed since his mind was much more advanced than a 16-year-old should have been. The anxiety that he had been going through with trying to fit into the mind of a teenager was wearing on his body and Jack cornered Thor about it the last time he was suspended from school for calling a teacher a liar. They could not see that he was brilliant – all they saw was a trouble maker. Made Sam wonder if that was the reason Jack had cold chills the first day he dropped Jonathan off in front of the school.  
The man standing in front of her was no longer a 17-year-old looking for young girls to date and trying to inform professors that there really was life on other planets – not because he had seen them but because he just knew there was. That did not go over well with the adults so at Jack and General Hammond’s bidding – Thor stepped in and now the 24-year-old in front of her was the exact image of the man she longed for at night to hold her.  
“Hi Sam. Sorry about scaring you – didn’t mean to. I keep forgetting how much I look like Uncle Jack.”   
Jonathan pulled her tight against him and Sam felt as if she was surrounding by Jack and not Jonathan. She knew it wasn’t him but the smell was almost the same and as he held her she felt the comfort that Jack would give her almost being matched perfectly. Pulling back from him, she reached up and using her hand, tried to sooth the hair on his head. He laughed and pushed her hand away. The hair was not going to lay down – no matter what he did or anyone else tried to do.  
“Hey yourself! What brings you up here floating around with your Uncle Thor as you call him? I figured you would be in Washington helping General Maynard with the computer virus that had attacked the hard drive in the Dulles Operation System about 3 months ago, I heard it was nasty. You know, I would have loved to have had a look at that – the mechanism on which the display itself was allocated with was made out of pure titanium and then you had the computer base that was made with a synthetic that allowed for protection against anything – even naquadah and then…”  
“Sam, Sam! Sorry didn’t mean to yell – and although I get into that a little more than Uncle Jack does – um that’s not what I am here for. I came to let you know that we haven’t stopped looking, I haven’t stopped looking. I came to let you know that Uncle Jack will be found. I promise you that!”   
“Oh Jonathan – how can you promise me that? How do you know where he is? I know he is not still at the SGC, I found that out when the spineless snail of an Asgard tried to let SGC know where we were. They said that he wasn’t there….  
Then a look passed over Sam’s face – a look of determination. A look that said no one was going to make her stay where she did not want to stay again.  
“You know where he is? You know where they are searching? Do you?! I want to go – I want to help. I cannot just sit here and wait. Please Jon – you know what he means to me – you feel it. Please let me go back to Earth with you!”  
“I can’t do that, Sam. You know I cannot let Uncle Jack down like that.”  
“Why the hell is everyone so worried about what Jack wants?! What about me?! I can help him, I know I can.”  
“Do you even know the reason he left you with Uncle Thor? Do you know why he didn’t want you to go back to Earth with him? Have you given it a minutes thought of why he would do this to you, as you say?”  
“Because he was being an egotistical male!”  
“No Sam, it was because no matter what they put him through – no matter how many hours of torture he has to live through – he will live. He will live because he knows he has you and he baby to come home to. Remember how you felt when he told you he made it home after busting his head open from the parachute incident – remember how he said he made it home because he had Sara waiting on him. Now think about it – if you had gone with him and was going through what -yes I will say it- the hell and torture he is going through – how would he survive?”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
Colonel Reynolds was exhausted but he had not wanted to quit. They had searched almost twenty – two states total. The men and women that had been put together were searching for someone they knew had saved their six’s more times than one. General Maynard had been both surprised and shocked when he had realized that the hide – out he had known of in the great state of Montana had not been the only such place.   
The places had been hidden all over the seven Continents and each place had been notified. There were searches going on 24 hours a day. Teams taking turns and some of them fighting to keep going. But that was not allowed. A team searched for twelve hours and then traded out with the next time for twelve hours. Each person in charge had been ordered by their commanding officer that no man or woman was to go without rest. They wanted everyone on their best and that required sleep and food.   
Colonel Reynolds looked at his watch with pure aggravation. He could start searching again in one hour. He knew that they had to be getting close, he just felt it in his gut. Yeah, his Uncle had told him once that was an old cliché but for him it just felt as if his gut could tell him things that his eyes could not.  
There was one state left and he had to admit that he himself had decided to search that state last. To be sure Kinsey would not have taken Jack back to his hometown to torture him. But if he was in the United States – then he had to be in Minnesota. That was the last place to look here. He knew that Great Britain, Russia and France had been searched from top to bottom with no luck.  
Reynolds watched the last-minute tick away and before it hit the twelve, he was up and getting his team together. They would be searching General O’Neill’s hometown today and in the pit of his gut, Reynolds knew that his hero would be safe before morning. Safe if he was still alive.  
“Hold on General O’Neill just hold on!” Reynolds said the words to himself but it seemed to whispered from each and every person searching the world over.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Jack was tired. He had been awake for a long time – waiting. And yet no one came. He had not seen Kinsey in quite a while. Although he had lost track of time, he knew he should have been gotten by now for a new torture session. He was not wishing for one but being kept waiting could be as bad as the thing itself.   
Besides, his mind had started playing tricks on him and he hated that. Hated it with a passion. It had happened before when he had been a prisoner in the Middle East. The hallucinations would torment him then also. Seeing Sara or Charlie and thinking they were with him – and then the pain of realizing he was all alone again.  
Now it was Sam. Everywhere he looked, she would be there. Talking to him, telling him about their new house and how they were both retired and never had to worry about anyone keeping them apart again. Telling him about Judith and how much she looked like him. How her eyes were such a beautiful light brown. But there was no Sam here, and there was no baby. And each time reality hit – it hit harder.   
Maybe he should give in. Death had been right within his reach here lately and maybe taken that way out wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, he was beaten, bruised and broken. And even if he made it out of here alive – did that guarantee him that he and Samantha would be able to be together. And to be honest – just the thought of living without her hurt worse than anything those wacked out bastards had put him through. Maybe death was a good way to go. She would be safe. Teal’c, Daniel and Thor would make sure of that. And Jonathan Cassie could look after her also. “Just close your eyes and let it happen, Jack” Slowly he closed his eyes and he could actually feel the cold beginning in his chest.   
His last thoughts were of Sam and his babe. “Goodbye my love, please know I tried.” He said the words out loud as he felt his heart begin to slow down.   
But this was not what God had in store for Jack O’Neill and as the noise around him became louder, Jacks forhead creased. Trying to go back to that place he had been at, he ignored what he figured was his imagination. But it would not stop.  
Jack slowly fought to open his eyes, wishing he did not have to. Seeing what was in front of him, he squeezed them shut. “No, God, please no, not him!” The words mixed with the tears running down his face. He could not take this much longer. And now him. He had thought of him as his son and he, like Charlie, had been taken away from him. But where Charlie had been taken away because of an accident – Skaara had been taken away because of someone’s greed.  
“Go away! Please do not torment me with his ghost. Can’t you see what you are doing to me, God? Why must the torture continue even when it is not physical.”  
“O’Neill, it is I. I am really here for you. I am not here to torture you but to bring you hope. You must hold on, O’Neill. Hold on just a little longer. Help is coming.”  
Jack laughed a haunting laugh. Sure, that would be just what he needed. To go around floating in the air above people he loved and never be able to help them again. Surely Oma Desi knew by now that he was not going to be taking the easy way out that way. If he was going to die – then die he would. If there was a heaven, he would go there but he would not be just a spirit to haunt the ones he loved.  
“O’Neill, I am here. Do not allow the heaviness to win. I promise you – you will live, you will see Carter again. Just wait – they are coming for you. If you care at all for her do not allow your body to give to the peace it wants. Not yet.”  
Jack looked at the young man in front of him. Maybe he was really there. Maybe there was a chance someone was coming – just maybe tomorrow he would wake up and be with her again.


	23. Is it too late?

He watched the man through the small window in the steel door. He had been with this man almost two months now and he could not believe that he was still alive. Oh, he knew that the Senator had stopped the sessions each time just before the General would have died but he was really worried about him. The man had been through more being a prisoner of Senator Kinsey then anyone he had heard about in the deserts of Iran and Iraq. He did not know what the man had done to the Senator but he was glad that it was over and the Senator had fled. He had fled so fast that his aide did not even cross his mind and the young man had to admit deep in his heart that he was glad of that.   
He had not known the Senator that long before becoming his aide, and this was his second year as his aide. He had been swept in by the Senator’s “love” for his Country but Thomas Robert Kennedy soon found out that the only thing the Senator loved was himself. He had begun to doubt him long before this had started but now he hoped and prayed never to see the man alive again. He quietly shook his head and looked back at the man in the cell. He could go in now and turn him loose if he could only figure out which guard had the door key.  
He turned to walk away from the door but a sound behind him stopped him. He had heard the General talking to himself quite a lot lately but this time it seemed as if he really believed there was someone in the room to answer him. He kept hearing General O’Neill say things like “But I know you’re not real” and “Please just leave my tortured mind at peace and let me die!” The young man shook when he heard those words, he had expected them a month ago, but he could not allow the General to give up now – not when he was finally in a position to help him.   
Thomas Robert Kennedy, known as Tommy by his closest friends, had always wanted to be an aide to a President. He had assumed that becoming a Senator’s aide would be the most effective way to climb that ladder. He had great respect for President Hayes, had met him at a couple of luncheons that the Senator had been invited to and he really enjoyed him and trusted him. He had made Tommy feel as if he were cut from the same cloth and that had been so different than the way the Senator had made him feel.   
Tommy was not a big man, had been sickly as a child and that had stopped him from joining the service like most of the men in his family, even though it had been his ultimate dream to do so. When President Hayes had introduced him to General O’Neill– he was awe-struck. The man was a Colonel then but his attitude and spunk made him seem so much larger in Tommy’s eyes. He did not hold General O’Neill on a pedestal, but the man deserved respect, had earned it at the greatest level. When he had seen that it was the General that Kinsey had chained in this cell, he literally had gotten sick to his stomach. The guards had laughed at him and called him a sissy but he did not care and he made it his goal right then to somehow get the General away from this madman and his goons.  
Thankfully, it seemed someone had already taken care of the Senator. It had been over forty-eight hours since Tommy had seen the Senator or any of his henchmen around – there were only two other guards still here. However, they had become lazy and non-caring on what was happening to the General – all he needed to do was supply some liquor and he could help the General get out of here. He rushed back to where he had parked his car earlier that morning. The alcohol he had purchased was still in the bag in the backseat. With the sleeping aid, he had gotten from the drug store – this should work perfectly. He could not help but smile to himself at his great plan – this had to work.   
Turning back from the car and heading towards the building that looked totally different on the outside then the inside, he heard something on the gravel behind him. “Oh No! Please don’t let it be the Senator returning, give me time to help him, please!!” He prayed to himself. Surely God would not have let him get the plan going this far and then send that demented monster back to finish his fun, surely not.  
“Stop right there – or I will shoot you where you stand. Although I may still shoot you!”  
Tommy heard the command and did not dare turn around. He was so scared he knew at any moment he was going to piss his pants or worse. The bottle of liquor crashed on the ground beside him, and all he could do was stand there and cry out that he was unarmed.  
Colonel Cameron Mitchell had watched the young man for the past twenty – four hours. He had seen him leave and go to the drug store and then to the liquor store (per his intel). Cameron wandered if they were planning a party or something. He had not seen anything of Senator Kinsey or any of his body guards but caution was the key here and they had to be careful or the Senator could put a bullet into General O’Neill’s head.  
He heard the order given by the Lieutenant under his command and he watched the young man as he seemed to literally shake where he stood. The bottle of liquor crashed to the ground and the young man seemed to think that maybe that’s where he ought to be as Cameron watched his knees buckle under him and landed him hard on the gravel. There was no way this young man knew what he had gotten into beforehand. He was scared beyond belief but that may work for their advantage.  
Cameron watched as Lieutenant Colonel John Shepherd helped the young man up and then headed him over to where the rest of the team were hiding. The man was shaking – seeing him Cameron knew right away who he was. He had seen him at the hospital when the Senator had paid a visit one time for show and he had watched the look on the young man go from trust to distrust, from respect to total disgust when he had been around the Senator. So, it seems the Senator had lost another fan. Cameron knew he had been right in his earlier assumption - this could work to their advantage.  
“I am Colonel Cameron Mitchell of the United States Air Force. I am here on official government business, and I must be honest with you, son – you are in deep shit!”  
The young man looked at Colonel Mitchell and then over at Lt Colonel Shepherd and Cameron could have sworn he grew another foot taller standing there. Confidence seemed to spread across his face along with relief.   
“You I have seen before – I don’t know how you are standing here in front of me but I know for a fact that I was at the hospital in Arlington when they pronounced you dead. You, sir I have never met but if you are with him I take it you are finally here to help the poor man inside.”  
Cameron looked over at John but covertly shook his head, silently telling him not to give anything away – though his gut told him he could trust the young man, it could be a trap. Cameron questioned Tommy for almost 20 minutes – going back and forth with the same questions phrased differently. The longer the process, the more at ease Cameron became with the young man. He could also tell that the young man was very anxious for them to do whatever they needed to do to get to General O’Neill.  
“Listen, Sirs – I don’t mean no disrespect but Senator Kinsey beat it out of here almost forty-eight hours ago, and I have not seen him nor anyone with him besides the two guards inside. However, I don’t know if he is gone for good. I can tell you this – that man in there cannot take anymore – he is giving up and he is giving up fast. If we don’t get in there and get him out now – there will be no sense in trying.”  
Cameron watched him take a deep breath and begin again – the young man may think he was too small to help in major situations but his idea of getting the key from the guards was good, really good and if it worked – they may be getting the General out a lot easier than he had thought. The two guards he would deal with later – his main concern was to get the General out and to safety.   
Sam watched Jonathan as he worked on the computer system beside her. It still puzzled her how he had found Thor’s ship yet no one else seemed to be able to find them. She knew that if the right ones from the SGC located them, she would have no problem getting back to Earth. Jon had told her that the reason he had been able to find the ship was because of the chip installed in him when Loki had first created him. But that had been so long ago, or so it seemed.   
Jon had been working with the Nox when he found out about Jack – the next thing he knew he was with Sam on Thor’s ship – whether it was the locator chip or if it was the Nox – he did not really care. His main concern was the same as Thor’s – keep Sam safe and away from Earth and get Uncle Jack out of trouble. “God, did that man just make it a habit to constantly walk right into trouble?” He thought to himself.   
The plan he and Thor was working on was complicated to say the least. With the aging device installed in him, he could age all the way up to the age that Jack was right now before stopping. That was as long as Jack remained alive. That was what he and Thor were hoping for. The plan was that when Thor got the word from whomever he was talking to on Earth that Jack was safe – he would return to Earth, the exact image of General Jack O’Neill. Taking on that position himself, would leave Uncle Jack and Sam to finally have the life that they wanted – that they deserved. All they could do was hope that when they got Senator Kinsey out of the way – the thoughts of court martial would be out of the way also. If it was, then Jack and Sam would be ok to retire. If not than Jon would lead the government on a wild goose chase while Jack and Sam lived happily with their little family.  
It was a lot of hoping, luck and faith – but somehow it would work – it had to. No matter how bad the situation had been, it seemed SG1 had always been able to get themselves out of trouble just in the nick of time. Jon and the other four were praying this time was no different.  
“O’Neill, you are not a man who quits. Why do you not want to believe me when I tell you help is coming?”  
“Because I know that you are not really there – you are not standing in front of me. Why would Omi send you to me? I am not the worthy person that Daniel is – I have more blood on my hands then you may want to acknowledge. Having a happy ending does not exist for me, there is too much in my past that I have done.”  
“Do you really believe that O’Neill? Do you really believe that you are not worthy for my friendship? I promise you will see that you are worth every chance a person can get. I have to go now for help is just outside the door. Hold on O’Neill – you have so much waiting for you.”  
With those last words, Skaara was gone and just as the door opened from the outside, General Jonathan Jack O’Neill took one final deep breath and let it out.


	24. Death destroys the heart!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear friends!  
> Well as promised here is another chapter - although I did tease a couple of you that I would be taking a month off - may do that now - hehe  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter - please read to the end, I know it will be hard.  
> I thank each of you for your continued support with my story and also with my RL. Kat is still in the home, not sure when that will change but we will continue to pray.  
> Again thank you for reading and reviewing - it means more to me than you will ever know!
> 
> Vanessa

There was no way he would ever tell anyone that he had been kept up to speed by Thor and Thor had been kept up to speed by him. He knew it was hard on everyone else not knowing where the other three members of SG1 were at but he also knew he was doing it for their protection – for their very lives. Now knowing the fate of Jack had ensured that he was right in what he had done. He would not give Kinsey the satisfaction of finding Colonel Carter, Teal’c or Daniel. It was not going to happen on his watch. He was still the Big Dog in the Star Gate program and by God if it was the last thing he did he would keep the other three alive. If he had made it to the SGC before Kinsey had – Jack’s fate would not have been the same. Knowing the news, he was going to have to tell Thor was bad enough – but General Hammond held it together long enough to tell him. He just hoped whoever told Sam, Teal’c and Daniel the news they were quick on their feet. He hated to admit it but he was glad he was not in the same space as they were.  
General George Hammond had been moved from the Stargate program when President Hayes thought it would be best when the public found out about the program if they thought that a civilian ran the thing. That did not last long – one year and another Air Force General was back in charge of the program – although Jack did not get to sit in Hammonds chair for that long. He still found it hard to believe that Sam and Jack had disappeared the night Sam had received her promotion and Jack had received his two days before. Gone, to the point that no one knew where they were or for how long they had been gone – not until Jack had stepped back through the gate. It was as if time had speeded up when the Gate begin to spin and suddenly they were 4 days into the future and Jack and Sam had been declared AWOL.   
Senator Kinsey had arrived at the mountain only seconds before Jack had stepped onto the ramp. He had looked like a cat that had just swallowed a canary – the simple fact of thinking he had finally gotten rid of General Jonathan “Jack” O’Neill seemed to thrill him in more ways than General Hammond wanted to think about. It was when he had gotten the news that Jack had been arrested by Kinsey that he had gotten the unexpected visitor in his office at the Pentagon.   
Thor explained everything. How he, Daniel and General Maynard had tried to figure out a way to get around military protocol and give Jack and Sam a chance at happiness. This was something that none of them would have been willing to do if they had not already known about the times that both Sam and Jack had put in request to retire or in Sam’s case be transferred. What made Hammond so sick was that for every request that crossed his desk – he had tried his hardest to get it approved but there was always a reason why it could not happen yet. “Too many Goa’uld’s still out there to fight” “Her brain is too good to be used anywhere but at the SGC” “We need a top Black Ops man to handle the flag team” “They are where they need to be – end of story!”   
Hammond really liked President Hayes – but President Hayes liked to keep things calm and in control. Jack being in charge at the SGC and Sam being at the SGC to handle any computer glitches kept things and bureaucrats calm. Now they had lost not only the leader of the flagship team and the smartest brain in the world but they had lost the whole flagship team. Because Hammond knew that if what he had just heard from General Maynard was true, then they had not only lost Jack – but they had lost the other three also.  
He had gotten the call that morning from General Maynard– exactly 68 days from the day Jack and Sam had disappeared. General Maynard had gotten the call from Colonel Mitchell who had been the one to declare it. Jack was gone. They had not been fast enough to keep Kinsey from doing exactly what he had hoped to do. They had lost the one man that, with the help of his team, had saved the world countless times. The high-profile people did not think he was worthy enough to be able to retire – well what the hell did they think was going to happen now?   
Before he realized it, the man broke. His friend and comrade was gone. There would be no more sarcastic remarks from the man who made them the most and there would be no more cutting remarks to the ones who deserved them. A great man had left this world and there was not a damn thing he or anyone else could do about it. General George Hammond went from being sorrowful to angry in less time than it takes for a child to eat an ice cream. He was mad and when he got through tearing new asses in Washington – a lot of heads were going to roll. Starting with Senator Kinsey and he did not care whose friend he was.

SJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJ

Teal’c held Sam as she beat her fists against his chest, her screams showing both the anger and the loss of love that she was experiencing. He too had tears on his face but he would not give in to his anger until he had the person responsible in his hands – and he would be the one to rack revenge on him. Teal’c was not sure what had happened. All he knew was that Thor had told them that Colonel Mitchell had found Jack in an old mining shaft in Minnesota. The mining shaft was a decoy – once you went far enough inside, it turned into quite the place for a torture chamber. And it seemed Kinsey had been using it quite regularly. Teal’c did not want to think what his ‘brother’ had gone through while he was being held there but his mind raged with what he planned to do to Kinsey when he got him there.  
Daniel had left the main chamber when they had received the news from Thor. He had taken a walk down one of the halls but had not gotten very far when the weight of the situation caused him to hit his knees, sobs wracked through his body. It was his fault. The whole situation could be blamed on him – he had killed his best friend. It was true, he may not have done the torturing but he sure as hell had a hand in it. Why did he always have to follow his heart? Every damn time he tried to help someone, they ended up in worse shape. This time was the worst yet. How could he ever look Sam or her child in the eye. He had caused a child to be born and grow up without a father.   
The devastation of the situation had Daniel hyperventilating by the time Jon had found him. He got the man to his feet and helped him to one of the chambers that Thor had set up for them when they had first come aboard the space craft. Jon was hurting also but he too was like Teal’c, the anger and need for revenge had stopped him from breaking down completely.  
The only thought that kept crossing his mind was Cassandra – who was going to be with her when she found out? He wished it could be him, but he knew he had too much to do with the situation that was going on. Thor had stopped the aging process seeing as it would not be necessary. He held Daniel until he had him completely on the bed. He knew the man was hurting but blaming himself was not smart – Daniel did no more than any of them would have done if they had thought of it. After all, one of the greatest General’s in the history of Earth had been right there with him in the planning. And it would have worked had it not been for Loki.  
Loki!! God, how that brought up a sorrow taste in Jon’s mouth. First Loki totally screwed him up when he had cloned Jon from Jack and now he had totally screwed up the two people Jon considered family. Maybe that was who he needed to seek his revenge on. Let Teal’c have Kinsey, the slippery weasel would be hard to find. But Loki was here, still right here on this ship and there was not a damn person here who could stop him when he wanted to do something bad enough. After all, he had talked a Colonel into buying him beer once.  
Thor heard the thunderous roar coming from Jon as he called out for Loki. He had anticipated this but had expected it from Sam, not Jon but why not Jon. Jon had been affected by Loki more than anyone standing here. Even though he was a clone – his feelings and heart worked the same as a human did. When he had completed Loki’s mistake and made Jon completely human, he left nothing out. And though he may call O’Neill Uncle- to Jon, Jack was almost a father. Thor knew he had to get Loki off the ship as soon as he could. He knew when he considered Jon’s eyes that Loki would be dead if Jon got to him first. There was no denying the hatred that was running through the young man’s body for Loki.  
“Please Jon, do not do this! Loki has been paying and will continue to pay for what he did to O’Neill and Colonel Carter. Please do not do something that will cause our alliance with your planet to become extinct. I do not blame you for the hatred you are feeling right now – but do not something you will regret later. I give you my word as a friend of O’Neill – Loki will be punished more severely than any of our people have ever been.”  
Jon looked at Thor, the anger was still there but he heard the words of this alien that his uncle held so dearly. He would do nothing to cause harm to come to Thor and by harming Loki he would harm Thor. He would wait and if Loki crossed the line again- there would be no talking out of it again. He turned from Thor and headed over to where Sam and Teal’c were sitting. She had calmed down but the tears were still streaming down her face. He allowed Teal’c to move and took his place, holding Sam’s head on his shoulder. The grieve she felt was so overwhelming it caused Jon to feel even more at a loss.  
Just what were they going to do? Life at this moment seemed so hopeless.

JSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJJSJSSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSSJJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJSJSJSJSJ

Jack opened his eyes and looked around him. He knew this place, it was very familiar but he could not get it to come to him. Looking down he saw something that made him jump and then really made him mad. It was as if he were watching a movie. He was seeing himself on the cold floor of the cell he had been in for over two months. Over him was Colonel Mitchell – taking a sheet and covering him with it. “Oh, no they did not! There is no way Oma did not listen to him!” He knew now exactly where he was – Kheb!  
“Skaara!! Oma! I would suggest you show yourself now. I am not playing this do-good person for you. If I am dead, then let me be. If not then send me to my woman, now!!”  
“O’Neill, do not be angry. You needed time to heal. I will not go against your wishes, but you must heal or you will die.”   
Skaara said the words, pleading with Jack. He knew his friend did not want to join the ancients but he also knew that it was not his time to die either – not like this. He would keep him here on Kheb and then he would send him back to Sam – but not before everyone and everything that held them apart was taken care of. And he did not care if the Ancients got angry for him interfering – they had all eternity to get over it.


	25. Friends or Enemies

Chapter 25 – Friends or Enemies  
Jack knew this was not going to end the way Skaara wanted it to. He knew there was no way he was spending the rest of his life floating around the people he cared about and not be able to help them when they needed it. He also knew that when Daniel finally went against the Ancients – he was sent back to Earth with his memory completely erased. He did not want that to happen to him – but if it would get him back to Samantha – then he may be willing to take the chance.  
Jack could not believe how the pain he should be feeling was not there. It actually made him feel really weird. He did not like being a part of something he could not grasp and being here – in this type of reality really messed his head up. Why had he even made it to this realm? He was not a good person. He could understand why Daniel would have been chosen by the ancients because he was a good man. Jack remembered the arguments he and Daniel had each time they came across someone Daniel felt deserved another chance, no matter what they had done. Yet, Jack always pulled the M-5 or his Beretta 9 out and was ready to solve the issue that way. Then again, mentioning Daniel – just why had he looked like he wanted this to happen to himself? It was not like he could help anyone and Jack knew that Daniel not being able to help someone was as hard on him as it was on Jack.  
He should not be here. He should have been left alone to die in that damn cell. This was worse than death. At least if he was dead he would not feel his loss so great. He tried not to think about them, about her. But God! What was she going through? Surely, Thor had been told by now that he was dead and if Thor knew then so did Teal’c, Daniel and Sam. How were they handling it – how was she handling it? Was the baby ok? Was there a baby?? He had never even had a chance to confirm that. All he had was Thor’s word that there was one. And the way the Asgard were sometimes – well no since in getting petty now.  
But then again, Jack could not help but wonder how he had all these friends and allies all over the freaking galaxy but not the first damn one thought him important enough to come to his rescue until he was dead and then it was a damn spirit. God! How he hated the position he was now in. He had to get out of this – he had to figure out how to break this ‘curse’ and become alive again. He had to do this for Sam more than for himself. Who was he kidding? He wanted to do this for him – call it selfish if they wanted to – but as far as he was concerned he had done his time and paid for his crimes so he was ready to live the life he had wanted for the past eight years and with who he wanted to live it with.  
“SKAARA!” Jack yelled the name at the top of his lungs. He had been looking for him for – well he really did not know how long since time did not really compute here but he knew he had been waiting and hunting for him for a while. Oma had also disappeared it seemed but he would find someone and whatever rules he had to break he would break them. He was going home!  
JSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJS  
Thor listened in detail to what General Maynard was telling him. It was not only he and Maynard present – there was also a live feed coming from the SGC and from Washington in the President’s office. Behind Thor, but as close to the camera as they could get stood Teal’c, Daniel and Jon. Sam was there but she felt safer across the room – not for herself but what she may say to the others who were listening. So, it seemed that Oma had pulled another trick from her bag and now Jack was not even Jack anymore.  
They listened as Maynard explained how Mitchell had gotten there just in time to hear Jack take his last breath and then the next second, he watched as the sheet just kind of landed on the floor where Jack should have been. Mitchell told the President that he had heard about this happening to Daniel and the whole planet of Abydos – but to Jack – well, he just figured even in death Jack would fight it. Then he stated that they had searched all of the area for miles and had not located Kinsey. According to his aide, he had pulled out the day that he received the phone call that President Hayes was now in the middle of the investigation.   
“So, that means you have a leak in the White House, Mr. President.”   
The words came from Jon but they all knew he was correct. That was how Kinsey had known that Daniel, Thor and General Maynard had been talking about trying to get a life together for Sam and Jack. And that also proved why he was at the SGC so fast on Jack’s return. The leak was there and it was deep – how deep no one knew but they would find out. The slamming of the fist against the computer monitor made everyone in the room jump – they had not heard her approach – but they could actually feel the anger coming from her like a hot branding iron.  
“When will you find out, Mr. President? When?? When someone else has to lose somebody they love? Or does that even bother you anymore? That damn bastard should have been shot years ago, but oh no you just put him down a step. Do you even realize how many times Jack saved your ass from him? From the man, you feel you must allow to keep living. Does it even bother you – any of you – that Jack has been begging for retirement for over 3 years now – but no one gave a shit. Now all of a sudden, he has friends everywhere – he is dead and cannot be used by you people anymore – so he has friends gathering everywhere.”  
Sam felt the arms as they tried to encircle her, to try to calm her down but she wanted none of it. She was tired of it always being the good guy that finished last. She was tired of watching men and women die for a Country that did not seem to give two cents for them. She could barely see in front of her because of the heat of the tears in her eyes but she was going to look at every one of them and let them know how she felt and not a damn person was going to stop her.  
“but then why should I expect anything different from any of you? You stood by and watched Kinsey and half of dozen other’s run Jack down every time he tried to tell you that something was going to happen – that we should not be trusting everyone just because we expected them to obey the laws. We have been fighting the NID for the past eight years and still, they have more help and government support then we will while our asses are being killed and mutilated on other planets just to bring our government back alien technology. Well guess what Mr. President, General Maynard and staff, and all of you listening at the SGC – you have gotten your last help from me with any alien technology or anything else. You want to play with people’s lives – I suggest you find someone else’s to play with – I am no longer a part of the United States Air Force or the United States of America. Hope you all of good luck when the next Goa’uld invasion decides to take place!”  
Teal’c saw Sam as she turned from the monitor and was just able to catch her before her legs gave out. She was weak from not eating and worn out from the emotional stress that she had been under. Now, knowing that Jack was not even in a position where she could mourn his death was too much for her and she had used her last bit of energy to lash out at the ones that had hurt her beloved.   
Yes, they were to blame and Teal’c agreed with her. Something should have been done a long time ago to this Kinsey. In his home of Chulak – someone like that would pray for death if they had caused the dysfunction and hurt that Kinsey had caused. And yet, this government had put up with it, even giving him command when they knew what his intentions were with O’Neill. But he hoped they did not find Kinsey – not yet because in his heart the only thing that gave him solace at this moment was the fact that he would be able to pull Kinsey limb from limb while he was still breathing once he found him – and he would find him. As his brother used to say – he would die trying – and he was not planning on dying!  
SJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJ  
General Hammond heard the words coming from his god-daughter and he wanted nothing more than to be able to take her in his arms and hold her. But he was at the SGC awaiting the new General to arrive. They had been waiting to see what was going to happen with Jack before the top men decided it was time to recommission someone else to command the SGC. He knew General Landry – knew him and his daughter. He also knew that the General and the CMO had the same problem that Sam and her father had once had.   
Carolyn would rather be in any other room besides the one her father might be in. But Hammond also knew that Landry was the type of officer that would work with the men and women on this base and would not back down in front of any official no matter what they wanted. Hopefully, Landry would be able to get the three members of SG1 back here and they could all work on a way to get Jack back home for good. Because he just knew that if Daniel could end up being completely human again then he had no doubt whatsoever that Jack would. He knew the circumstances were sad but he could not help the chuckle he gave when he thought about his sarcastic friend and what havoc he was incorporating on the people of Kheb.  
SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJS  
Freya listened to what the leader of the Tok’ra was saying but she found it hard in her heart to listened to her. Colonel – no wait he was no longer a Colonel -he was promoted so that would make him per Earth – a General. General O’Neill was dead. They had stood by and let one of their greatest allies die without even lifting a hand to help him or his people. Why? Why were they so stuck on doing nothing to help others? Had not the Tau’ri always been there when they had needed them?  
“Silence, little one. I know you had strong feelings for that Tauri but you must watch who you allow to see you show such affection.”   
Freya listened to Anise and she knew she was right. There were certain Tokra that felt the same about the Tauri as they did the Goa’uld and having General O’Neill gone was most pleasing to some of them. And that was when the thought hit her. What if it had been one of their own that had been the leak for Kinsey? What if they had a Tokra operative hidden in the White House of their president but he was not on the side he should be on. It could happen – it had happened before.   
“Watch where your thoughts travel, your face shows too much. You must find a way to get to Major Carter, or Colonel Carter. I will help you for Selmak’s sake. And also, Jacob, his daughter needs to know this. But we can not say anything for we do not know who all is involved in this.”  
Freya went back to her chamber and looked around. She did not need to pack anything but she had to have a reason for leaving or a diversion to help her get away. Because if she was right – and there was a Tokra involved then it would not take long before they found where Thor had hidden Colonel Carter, Teal’c and Dr. Jackson. She felt Anise become very unsteady with that thought. And once the Tokra knew then Kinsey would know. Three more lives were hanging in the balance as Freya used the crystal to make a new tunnel to get above ground and the hidden rings.


	26. The Ugly Truth

Chapter 26 – The ugly truth  
Jack yelled out again, waiting for the spirit to once more appear where he was – where ever he was. Oma was getting very frustrated with him and although he was pissed for this being done to him, Jack could not help but feel a little satisfaction at her discomfort.  
“What is it, Jack? Why do you keep summoning me when you already know the answer? I cannot willingly send you back to Earth. You know this when you chose to come here to Kheb.”  
“Wait a minute, back off lady or spirit or whatever you are. I made no choice on this at all and you will send me back to Earth, alive or dead, or you will wish you had never left Earth to become a pestering roaming spirit.”  
“Colonel O’Neill, if you did not choose to be here, how may I ask did you achieve the will to become an Ancient?”  
“Well I don’t know, lady. Why don’t you ask some of the idiots that left your mind-boggling equipment laying around for us to find? It wasn’t my idea for my head to get sucked into one of your stupid thingamajigs stuck on Goa’uld walls. Now we can do this really peacefully and you can send me back home or I can cause hell to find you right here by the time I am through with you. And don’t try none of your stupid voodoo on me because I don’t fall for it as easily as Space Monkey does. Oh and by the way – no since in getting formal – no Colonel here just a spirit roaming around called Jack.”  
Oma stood for what seemed like an eternity just looking at Jack. How in the world had he been able to cause himself to ascend? She knew that Skaara had not done it because he had not achieved that goal and yet here stood one of his closest mentors. If he was correct and he had been allowed to download the ancient text, then the possibility of him being able to ascend would not be such a stretch.   
The worse part of this, if Colonel Jack O’Neill had achieved the ability to ascend himself than there was nothing they could do to stop him from doing exactly as he pleased. The last thing Oma wanted was for Jack to find that out. If he found that out – there would be chaos unbound on earth and in the spirit world until he got just what he wanted. And sending him back to Earth alive was not something she could do. She would not reap the repercussions again of being a rogue ancient.  
“Um, I don’t know how much you know about me, but I have this beautiful – well I think she is more on the cute side when she wrinkles up her nose while she is thinking (Jack shook his head to clear his thought from Sam) blonde hair blue eyed angel at home and when she gets to thinking, you can actually see the thoughts crossing through her eyes. Now I don’t know what you may be contemplating standing there, but whatever it is, let me insure you – it will be in your best interest to send me back home – preferably alive.”  
Oma took one final long look at Jack and then walked away. She heard Jack as he yelled her name again and she shook her head. The love the man had for his home was astounding. To want to go back to a place that had caused so much pain and heartache instead of being able to live in total tranquility was something she just could not understand. It puzzled her.   
“It should not puzzle you, Oma Desala for you have known others that felt this strongly once they have learned to love someone. After all, I gave up my entire being and started life over again as a child because of my affection for love. There are others also. Your favorite pupil – Dr. Jackson – was willing to give up this life to save a planet he did not even belong to. The love that humans have for each other is much stronger than anything we have ever known. I honestly believe if we had experienced that type of love – we would not have wanted so much more.”  
Oma listened to the voice in her mind though she knew where it came from. Orlin would never allow any of them to forget how they had lost all of what they were just because they thought brain power was so much more important. There were days that even in a place where regret was never supposed to happen, she did. She regretted the choice they had made and she felt that maybe that was the reason she toed the line so much. But could she toe the line on this one?   
“You can try to ignore me if you want to but you really should have checked with the people who know me best – I AM NOT A PERSON TO BE IGNORED. I will haunt you until you will wish you never knew me, Oma Desala!”  
“Believe me, Colonel, I am wishing that now.” Oma thought to herself.  
Jack stopped yelling and closed his eyes. His mind drifted to Sam and their little one. She should be feeling the baby moving by now – if the baby was ok. He knew in his heart that it was. He thought even deeper of Sam, of their love for each other, of how much they had come through to be together and suddenly he could see her.   
He watched her as she lay there, arms wrapped tight around her belly, tears streaking down her beautiful face. OH, he loved her so much, more than anything he had ever loved before. And suddenly as that feeling flooded him, he could feel her – feel her beside him. Feel her give in to him and allow him to press her body against his. 

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Freya listened to the conversation going on around her. She had made it to the SGC and was in the General’s office. The new General had arrived but Freya did not know him as she did General Hammond and therefore, she would only speak to him. She could feel Anise’s unease at being here but she did not care. She also knew that Anise was just as worried as she was about Daniel. Finally she stepped up and made her case.  
“General Hammond, Anise and I feel there is something that the Tauri have failed to understand. It is not only Senator Kinsey that you are having to worry about. We feel there has to be a person on the inside of your President that knows every move he is planning. We feel this may be partly the Tokra to blame. We had placed an operative inside your security to make sure that the Goa’uld could not take effect again as they had in the past but now we feel they may have been compromised.”  
“What the hell do you mean, they may have been compromised? Are they still on our side or on Kinsey’s?”  
“That is what we would like to find out, if you are willing to try an experiment.”  
“Nope, not gonna happen. We do not do experiments anymore for anyone. We have been picked, probed, punched, stuck, cloned, and played with for our sex drive – no more, we are tired of being aliens fun toys.”  
Freya turned and looked behind her to see the face that belonged to the voice that sounded so much like General O’Neill. Her mouth gaped open when she saw him standing there – but then it dawned on her who it actually was and you could see the disappointment written on her face. With the look, Jon softened up a little but he was determined that they were no longer being anyone’s experiment.  
“I do not believe I have made your acquaintance? I take it you are Freya/Anise? Um, you do understand why I am determined that no one is going to be the Tok’ra’s guinea pig anymore? I am sorry but we are tired of being pin cushions for people that are never there when we need them. Sorry to be blunt but I think it is about damn time that we started getting that way.”  
Jonathon took a breath before he started again. He realized just how angry he was at every alien race out there. It seemed that the Tauri could always be counted on when their allies needed something but where were the allies when the Tauri were in trouble. He saw the surprised looks he was getting from the woman in front of him but at this point he really didn’t care.  
“Besides, no offense but how do we even know we can trust your experiment – I mean I do believe the last time you Anise tried something on Uncle Jack, Sam and Daniel – everything went wrong and they all three almost ended up dead. The only reason they didn’t is because of Teal’c. And now, because of another alien – Jack is dead and Sam will never be the same again and there is a baby that will grow up with no father. Thank you but no thank you ladies – this is one experiment you will have to try on yourself.”   
With that, Jon turned to look at General Hammond and making a slight nod, walked into his office with him. The conversation was over. If Freya was indeed there to help, she would be doing it on her own it seemed.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sam lay on the bunk that had been hers since this whole ordeal had started. At one time, she would be sitting in the dining area with the others, trying to eat. But not tonight, tonight she wanted to be left alone. Just her and her little one. She had felt movement earlier in the day and in a way, it was a mixed emotion. In a way, she was happy her little one was still alive but in the back corner of her mind, she felt a great disappointment that Jack would not be here to experience this time with her.   
As the tears begin to fall, she felt a strange warm presence that seemed to envelope her. Feeling it so strongly, she turned to see if there was a reason why the air would be so warm but there was nothing there – nothing she could feel anyway. And yet the feeling stayed – as if someone were wrapping their arms around her, holding her, keeping her and her peanut safe.  
Suddenly it dawned on her who it was she felt. He was here, right here behind her. She was warm and safe. The arms around her securing her to his firm body. She had not lost him, he was here. She did not need to worry about being alone. She had found him again and her solace was complete. Sam no longer cared about what her friends may or may not be worried about. She could stay here in this bunk forever if he stayed here with her.   
With that being her last thought, she slowly drifted off to sleep, with his voice whispering in her ear that it was going to be alright – somehow, someway he would be with her again.   
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK  
In a dark tunnel, on the west side of Washington, a dark colored Lincoln SUV was pulled over on the side of the road. Across from it was another vehicle but the driver of the Lincoln could not tell if it was the vehicle he should be meeting there or not. Cautiously, he blinked his headlights twice and then waited. He knew that by coming here, he was putting his life on the line but it seemed he had no other choice. The man that should be in the other vehicle had complete control over him. One stupid mistake and it had caused him his soul.   
Woolsey waited until the other headlights blinked and then he proceeded to leave his vehicle to cross the street. Just as he reached the medium, he heard the vehicle as it started pulling out from the side of the road, motor roaring and he knew he had made a mistake. As he stood frozen, the headlights blinding him – he silently prayed for forgiveness.   
The newspaper would report the incident as a hit and run and the evidence would be hidden beneath piles and piles of paperwork. The person behind the homicide would once more think he had gotten away with no repercussions but unknown to him – there is always someone watching.


	27. Nothing stops love!

When he saw her laying there, his heart could not contain the pain he had for her and before he had known it, he was laying in the bed with her. He knew his body was not there but his spirit was. It was just like when Daniel had visited him in Ba’al’s dungeon. As the night progressed. he had felt her wanting him more as the time went by and he wanted so bad to be able to help her.   
Putting all of his power into his feelings, he placed his hand on her, imagining moving it to where her breast was. Without knowing she did it, he felt her hand as it followed his path until it was covering her full breast. Then she turned and laid on her back, facing where he should have been laying and the tears begin again and his heart cried out to her.   
For some reason, she could not quite understand, Sam could feel the warmth covering her breast and she knew it was Jack’s hand. Moving her own hand to cover his she slowly begin massaging her breast. Feeling the need rising between her legs, she closed her eyes and saw his hand as it caressed her, slowly moving down to her stomach and rubbing where Peanut’s feet were actually pushing.   
Going further down, Sam felt as Jack’s hand followed the path her own hand was taking and she slowly opened her legs wider as she felt his fingers skim across the tiny hairs. Sam felt the need rising the closer her fingers came to her point of desire and she knew Jack’s hand was there with her. She did not know how or why but she was not going to push it away. She needed this so much, she needed to feel him even if it was just her imagination. She needed to feel him give her the pleasure he had given her before. She had to have it tonight to still feel him because she was so scared. So scared of forgetting him, forgetting his touch and she could not allow that to happen.  
Jack put his fingers in her and could feel the pulse as it increased the more he touched her. God, how was this happening? Was he with her – was this just a dream? Had he been alive this whole time and it had all been a bad night mare? But he knew it wasn’t because even though he felt her as her desire grew – his did not. Oh, he wanted her, there was no doubt about that but his body did not respond the way it should have if he had actually been alive and laying here with her.  
His name escaped her lips and drawing his attention, he looked back to her face. Biting her lower lib, he could feel the aggression and aggravation increase as she tried to achieve her goal. Feeling for her, he increased the speed of his own hand, not really believing it was doing any good. Suddenly he felt her tighten and he could not believe it when he suddenly felt a warm gush as she gave in and passion ran down her legs. He felt her tears as he placed his other hand on her face and hearing her calling his name again, caused his heart to hurt more.  
Suddenly Jack felt the urge to kiss her. The first normal feeling he had since all of this had begun. He wanted to pull her to him and lay a good hard kiss on those lips that were looking so desirable right now. Especially the lower one where she had been chewing on it. Bending down, he did not quite understand why he was doing it, he placed his lips against hers and the warmth from them seem to seep into his soul. It was as if his body was there and their lips were actually touching.   
Sam felt the warmth on her face where she knew Jack would have placed his hand and slowly coming down from her high she wanted so bad to feel his lips on hers. Wetting them without even realizing it, she suddenly felt his lips there – becoming more intense the longer they kissed. How was this happening? Was she dreaming? It had to be a dream – that was all it could be.   
Laying his head back down, Jack laid his arm above Sam’s head and instinctively, she seemed to know it as she moved up a little and placed her head where his shoulder should have been, and to her it seemed she could feel the hardness of his shoulder as she laid her head down on it and Jack could have sworn he felt the softness of her hair as it ticked under his arm. For the first time since this ordeal had begun, they both sensed a measure of peace and were soon sleeping.   
***********************************************************************************  
Freya watched as Jonathan left the General’s office and her mind still tried to comprehend that it was not Jack walking down the stairs. To her, he looked just like him and to Anise he acted just like him. Either way, he was not going to be helping them with their plan and that would put just her and Anise trying to figure this out. Freya wanted to go on with their plan but she could feel Anise hesitating. She knew since she had spent so much of her time with her, that if Anise did not get her way – she refused to help. Jonathon telling her that they would no longer be used as “guinea pigs” put a real damper on Anise wanting to help  
Anise knew who the spy was that worked for the President but telling General Hammond that she had known he had switched sides would be a very hard thing to do. Jonathon had been right – she finally had to admit to herself that the Tok’ra, along with some of the others had done nothing but used the Tauri since aliening themselves together. It was not something that was easy to admit. After all, admitting that proved that they were more Goa’uld now then human. Of course, she would never say that aloud.   
The Goa’uld were pretty much beaten at this point but there were still some nasty characters out there and sad to say, a lot of them were gunning for SG1. Whether these Tauri wanted to admit it or not, they may just have to call on her to help bring the others home. If she could be located she may see what she could do. She knew getting Freya to drop the whole thing would be hard, but she would resort to a little pain if she had to. After all she had caused Freya pain before to get her way, and she would do it again. Freya felt the tension as Anise prepared to make her leave but this time she would stand the pain or die one or the other. Because she was not going to give up and allow another person to die that they should be protecting.  
Freya walked with General Hammond as he led them to the Gate room. She did not want to leave but she had to convince him that she was willing to be on their side to help, not allow others to be harmed again. Suddenly, Freya felt the pain as it slashed through her brain. She felt the hard cement floor of the gate room as she fell to her knees holding her head. She screamed as the torture increased. She had not realized that Anise could be this hateful. There had been other times when Anise would inflict a small measure of pain to get her to change her mind but this was straight out killing her.   
General Hammond bent down and seeing the pain across the girls face, he told the Airman standing beside him to call Dr. Lam to the Gate room. Freya tried to stand as the pain eased up a little and seeing Jonathan’s hand reaching down to hers, she took it. Just as she stood and started to tell Jonathan that she did not want to leave, she grabbed her head again and bent double. Yelling from the pain, she begged someone to stop Anise.  
“What is going on? You have to tell me what to do!” Jonathan asked as he bent down beside her.  
Carolyn had reached the gate room and could tell that Freya was close to passing out. Taking her pin light, she tried to examine the girl’s eyes but just as she got close enough to see the pupils the eyes glowed and Jonathan caught Freya just as she passed out. Janet looked back at General Hammond who was as puzzled as Carolyn and Jonathan looked.   
Picking her up, Jonathan started towards the infirmary. Following close behind, Carolyn knew the woman was in trouble because she could actually see the chest slowing down from her breathing. Jonathan looked over at Janet and knew from the look on her face that this may not end well for Freya. He did not care a lot for the Tok’ra but like so many of the others at SGC, he did not want to see the host suffer and this host was suffering in the worse way. Even passed out, she seemed to moan from the pain.  
***********************************************************************************  
Jack felt Sam as she left the bed. He was not amazed that he could feel the coolness creep into the area where she had laid. After last night, he was not amazed at anything anymore. He had never imagined anything so real in his life. He figured he was dreaming but it just did not seem like it and when she had snuggled back into the bed with him, he knew then that she had felt it also.   
Turning on the bedside lamp, Sam blinked at the brightness of the room. She forgot that when she had asked Thor for a light – that he seemed to have given her the brightest star possible. Finally, after her eyes adjusted, she turned her body to lay flat on the bed. Placing her hand on the warm area beside her where she knew he would have been had he really been there with her – she was surprised when she felt something hard.  
Sam turned her head slightly and before Jack could catch her – she was off the bed, screaming at the top of her lungs. He did not know how it had happened but he knew now it had not been a dream – he had really been with her. How or why he did not care, all he knew was that he was again with his one true love.


	28. Contradicting Behaviors

Chapter 28 – Contradicting behaviors   
Jack was trying to scramble off the bed when the bedroom door came crashing open. It was proving more and more difficult for him, having a sheet wrapped around one’s body did nothing to help the situation. When he did finally succeed in getting the sheet off, he was staring into the face of one very angry Jaffa. By the time he had gotten his voice back and was attempting to ward off any thoughts of mutilation towards his body, he noticed that Teal’c had stopped mid-stride and was looking at him as if he had seen a ghost. One eyebrow raised and head tilted to one side made the best picture Jack had seen in months.   
“Teal’c, buddy – just listen. I know it is crazy – I don’t even know how it happened but it is me – I swear man it is me.”  
Before Teal’c could say anything, Daniel and Thor was in the room. They stood and stared at Jack as if he were a dream, meanwhile, Sam had decided that screaming was not doing any good so she reached over and picked up the lamp – aiming it towards Jack’s head.  
“Oh, for crying out loud!” Jack mumbled as he reached over and grabbed the lamp from her with one hand while he wrapped the other arm around her. Pulling her towards him, he made a gesture towards the others and they left the room, Teal’c trying to reassemble the door on his way out.  
“I know it is frightening and I know that part of you does not want to accept that it is really me – but babe I promise that it is. I am as confused as you are but I am willing to accept it as a gift and be done with it.”  
Sam looked up at Jack – into his eyes, touching his face, feeling the hair at the nape of his neck and before Jack knew it, she was pulling his face down for a kiss – not a soft one either. Everything she had gone through in the past five months was in that kiss. Her desperation at trying to find him, her loss for him, her desire to have him and her need to feel him. It was all in the kiss she gave him.   
Jack gave back as much as he received. The aggravation and deception, the isolation and the betrayal – it was all there. And they realized through that kiss that it was real – that they were back together and that no matter what had happened to them their love for each other was stronger than ever.   
Just as Jack started to pull away, he felt a kick in his mid-section. Reaching down, he placed the flat of his palm against Sam’s stomach and waited. Sure enough, in no time he felt the kick again. His reaction was something that Sam will always remember. Falling to his knees, tears streaming down his face – he pulled her towards him and planted kiss after kiss upon her abdomen. His baby was alive, he had thought last night that he had felt it but last night he had thought he was dreaming. Now was not a dream and he laughed through the tears because of happiness.  
“Peanut, I would like to introduce you to your father. He is a little strange to you right now -but I think you know him. Give daddy a good kick in the head for mommy.’  
And just like that Jack felt the tiny foot slam against his head. It in no way hurt but it thrilled him more than he had been thrilled besides being back with Sam. He was home, well not technically home, but he was with family and family was home.  
An hour later – Jack and Sam were dressed and all persons aboard Thor’s vessel were gathered around the table to discuss what had happened. Of course, Sam nor Jack went into complete detail although by the curiosity on Daniel’s face – he would have loved to figure it out. With Sam’s scientific background and Daniel’s knowledge of the Ancients, Jack was afraid they would want to investigate the whole thing and he prayed not. He did not want to have to remember anything he had gone through since he left them all standing in his cabin on a planet he knew nothing about.  
“O’Neill, did the Ancients agree to send you back?”  
“To be honest Thor, I don’t know how I ended up back as a living breathing human. One minute I am arguing with Oma Desala….”  
“Jack, what did you s….”  
“Don’t even, Danny boy! Not the way they have treated me. I never wanted that ascension crap. But someone decided that I was going to be ascended. Now I did not do anything more to her then I would have done to anyone else that was holding me against my will.”  
“In other words, shooting off at the mouth General?”  
Jack looked at Sam when she made that statement and for a second she could have sworn she saw a deep scowl pass over his face, but just as quick it was gone. “Surely, he did not think that she was going back to SOP with him, did he? It was obvious from just the fact that he had to be ascended that he had been beaten to death if not more – surely, he did not think that she expected him to stay in the service and even more – he did not expect her to stay in.”  
**********************************************************************************  
Jonathan watched Dr. Lam as she hooked Freya up to the life support machine. Freya was not gone completely yet but she had slipped into a coma and Janet was making sure she was prepared for the once possible scenario. Just what Anise thought to gain with this depth of torture was beyond him. All he did know was that if the snake kept it up, they both would be dead. “Unless of course Janet could extract the snack. She had done it before, was it a possibility?”  
“Doc, what is the chance of you extracting the snake out of Freya? I mean, we have done it before, haven’t we? She’s not gonna last much longer if this keeps up.”  
“I can do that if the General agrees but it would have to be okayed by one of them. However, I don’t see what Anise hopes to gain with this. If she kills Freya, to be sure she doesn’t think we would allow her to go into one of us.”  
Looking over at Colonel Reynolds, Carolyn asked him had anyone gotten in touch with the Tok’ra concerning what Anise was doing. His comment was just a shake of his head, so once again their allies were hiding. Carolyn thought to herself the ever since Jacob had died, their help had become less and less. Well, to be honest they weren’t that helpful when Jacob was alive. No offence towards Sam but the truth was the truth.   
At that moment, the heart monitor begun to go off. Looking at the numbers Jonathon knew exactly what was going on. Freya was dying and going fact. Even if General Hammond or General Landry had given the okay for the extraction – it was too late now. Anise, it seemed had won in the fact that Freya would not give away any information. Yet she had lost also – for with each faltering beat of Freya’s heart, Anise had lost her own battle with life. She had been so stubborn and so bent on having her way that instead of healing Freya and allowing her to life, she had killed them both.   
The infirmary was solemn as Janet slowly slid the sheet over the young girl’s head. Another person lost for the greed of the Goa’uld.  
**********************************************************************************  
The door opened to the secluded hospital room and Woolsey sit up slowly in the bed. He knew who the visitor was, the young man had come by every evening as far as Woolsey knew, at least every evening since he had awakened.   
When young Mr. Kennedy had walked into the hospital room the first day that Woolsey had been awake, it had taken him quite a while to convince the older man that he was there to help not to harm. He had shown Richard Woolsey the newspaper that had his obit in it and the photos from the graveside funeral. Woolsey did not know how he had made it alive to the hospital but he was thankful to whomever it was that had helped him. Now, however it was time to pay the piper and this young man was here to make sure all paid.  
When Tommy had heard that Mr. Woolsey had been ran over on a deserted street, he knew exactly what had happened and went to the President immediately. He had nothing but his word of what had taken place with General O’Neill but he also had back up now with his word.   
After being found by Colonel Mitchell, Tommy had been taken straight to General Maynard to inform him of what had been going on in the deserted bunker in Minnesota. Of course, when Colonel Mitchell had called the General later to inform him that O’Neill had died, Tommy had felt as useless as an ashtray on a surfboard. To think that he had been too intimidated by Senator Kinsey to get out and get help when he knew what was going on ate the young man up on the inside.  
Yet, after telling all he had to tell, the President had informed Tommy that Kinsey had a way of manipulating even the strongest of men and somehow Tommy knew that the President felt himself in that category. They still had no word on the whereabouts of the man, but something told Tommy that Senator Kinsey would not be hiding long. There were two reasons he knew that for a fact.  
One reason was that he had fouled in his attempt to kill one of the men that was in on his scheme from the beginning – Mr. Richard P. Woolsey. The second reason and only a select few knew this – Jack O’Neill was not dead and he was no longer military. As far as anyone in the United States government or military was concern Jack O’Neill was a free citizen of the United States – and by such had all rights to do exactly what he felt needed to be done when he found the man that had beat him and tortured him and had caused his love to suffer.  
And somehow in the back of their mind- both Tommy and Woolsey knew if Jack ever got ahold of Kinsey, a lot of people would be turning a blind eye to the very death of a person.


	29. Twists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers! Here is another chapter for your enjoyment (I hope). No throwing things through the computer at me, please! I also wanted to let you know that I have reread some of the previous chapters, and Lord I don’t know how you all were able to read them but I do plan on reposting them after I make the corrections in the grammar I can find. Anyway – I hope you all enjoy and until next time, Read on!  
> Nessa

Chapter 29 – Twists 

Jack laid in the bed with Sam curled up beside him. She knew he was not asleep, yet he did not talk. As a matter of fact, he had not said anything directly to her since dinner. She was not quite sure what the problem was but she had a funny feeling in her gut that it had to do with what she had called him when they were eating. Was it still bothering him that she had called him “General”?  
Sam sat up on the bed and scooted back until her back was against the head board. Jack watched her but did not say anything. She had something playing on her mind. He knew because her bottom lip was stuck in between her teeth and her forehead was all wrinkled.   
“What’s traveling around in that brain of yours?”  
“I am trying to figure out why you would think I would fall back into protocol with you?”  
Jack looked at Sam, trying to figure out how to answer that question. However, before he had a chance she continued talking.   
“I called you General at the table because I was picking on you. We all know what a smart ass mouth you have and since you were promoted, it seemed to have increase. I would hope that you would know me better then to think I would ever expect you to stay in the military after what they allowed to be done to you.”  
Sam turned a little so she was looking directly at Jack. Taking her hand, she ruffled his hair and then kissed his forehead. He smiled but she could tell that he still had doubts.  
“Jack, I will never be under military protocol again. I have already informed the President and General Hammond of this. My day for retirement was three weeks ago – and when it came I signed the papers. I have no intention of ever putting anything before what I love again. You and this child will always come first in my life. Now, I would be upset if you decided you were going to see if you could get back in – but I really don’t think I have that to worry about. Do I?”  
Jack’s only response to Sam was when he pulled her head down and met her lips with his own. She had answered his question. He knew he was out, but he also knew that President Hayes could pull strings and if Samantha Carter really wanted to stay in – he would let her. Knowing that she stood behind him enough to walk away from the Stargate made him realize just how much she loved him and he really didn’t know if his heart could handle that much love.   
Sam slid back down until she was lying flat on the bed beside Jack. Jack had lifted himself up so that he was lying on his side with head prompt up on his hand. Looking down at Sam, he realized just how long it had been since they had made love without her being in a dire need for release or them being mad at each other. He thought to himself that maybe it was time to see how just a good long night of love making would feel.  
Seeing the desire rise in his eyes, Sam could not help it when her breathing seemed to speed up. Jack laid his other hand on her stomach, rubbing where he felt the little bumps of his daughter’s feet. Smiling when he felt a light nudge against his hand, he bent down and once again claimed Sam’s lips. Before long, he pushed his tongue through and fought his way in and felt her own tongue doing war against his. The heat burned and was soon spreading from the dancing of their tongues to the rest of their bodies.   
Pulling back, he moved so that he was stretched out on the bed and then helped Sam as she straddled him. However, before she had a chance to cover him so that he would slide into her, he pulled her up a little on his chest. Taking his hands, he began to massage both breast. Taking her nipples, he rubbed them between calloused finger tips – watching Sam as she leaned back, her eyes closed and her bottom lip clenched tightly between her teeth. Pulling his knees up, he soon supported her back and moving his hands down he continued to massage her body, not missing any spot, he soon had her squirming – trying to get her body positioned where she knew it would do her the most good.   
Jack noticed Sam’s breathing started becoming irregular and knew she was coming close to an orgasm just from him massaging her body. The need had been there for both for what seemed like ages. Taking his fingers down, he touched her to see if she was as wet as he believed she was, and once realizing he was correct -he lifted her and placed her on him. As he entered her, he felt as if he was at last coming home. There was no denying it, he was finally back with the one he needed, he desired, he loved.   
Sam felt Jack as he entered her and she sat still for a moment – savoring the fact that she was, once more, whole. This is what being with someone you love felt like and she wanted to keep the feeling as long as she could. Unfortunately, her body wanted more and it was not long before she began to feel the desire build up inside of her. Moving slightly, she felt Jack also move and soon they had a rhythm going that made Sam feel as if they were dancing to a song made just for them. Soon however, the need became too great and her movements were becoming hurried.   
Reaching up, Jack took Sam by the nape and pulled her down to him so that she laid on his chest. He slowed down with his movements and soon she was matching him – the slow paced did nothing to destroy the passion between the two. In fact, it was not long before Jack felt Sam tighten around him and he knew she was close.   
“Jack please – I don’t want to do this alone – please come with me.”   
Sam said the words but Jack could barely hear them – her body said it more than her voice did. She would hold off if possible to make sure they reached ecstasy together. Jack kissed Sam on the forehead and then moved a little faster – and just that action ensured him and Sam that he was not that far behind her. Moving his hands so that they rested on each of her hips, Jack begin to move Sam faster and faster. Just when he thought there was no way he could wait any longer, he felt he tighten completely up and then she released. Jack followed right behind Sam, pulling her tighter against him, as his arms wrapped her into him. Her nails had left their message plainly on his chest and upper arms and Jack continued to kiss her, moving from her lips to her checks where tears covered her face.   
Lifting her face, he looked at her and there was no need for words – the love shining out of her eyes told him, assured him without any doubt – that yes -he was home.   
************************************************************************************  
Kinsey heard the words coming from the cell phone against his ear and before the man driving Kinsey’s car realized what his boss had done – the phone came flying by his head and slammed into the windshield of the limousine. What the hell did he have to do to kill that bastard?! He just knew for sure when he had walked out of that old mining tunnel that Jonathan Jack O’Neill was dead – well close enough to dead that he should have been. Yet, he was being told by his informant that the man was alive.   
There was no way he could ever be in the military again, that was a certain. No matter how good he was, Hayes would not be allowed to let the man serve. And Kinsey knew that sooner or later, someone would slip up and the next one he got a hold of, he would make damn sure she was dead for himself before he took off. If the only way to ensure Jack O’Neill’s death was to kill the thing closest to him, then he would set his sights on Samantha Carter. Yes, it was true that she had deluded him so far – but his reach had just gotten a little further out and before long she would be in his grasp. Bringing pain of that sort to O’Neill would be sweeter than anything else Kinsey had ever done in his life.   
He would get his way with this one – and when he was through with her – O’Neill would be worse than dead – he would be a pitiful, lonely man with no one to love him ever again.  
*********************************************************************************  
Carolyn watched with Jonathan as the Tok’ra carried Freya’s body through the Stargate. They had told the General that it was agreed when Freya became a Tok’ra that upon her death she would be buried back on her home planet. They felt the least they could do for her was to fulfill this request.   
Jonathan had questioned them as to why they had not answered the call from the SGC. The only response he got was that they had been trying to keep the radio cleared in case any calls came in from any of their operatives that were still stuck in places with some of the Goa’uld that were left. Yet, as Jonathan tried to explain – wasn’t what Freya had tried to do just as important for the security of the alliance as any other operative.   
However, according to the High Chancellor of the Tok’ra, Freya was not acting on orders per the Tok’ra hence she was no longer considered under their safety. They also admitted to General Hammond that there had been some talk of how Anise had started being a little more rogue with her experiments. To the point where the Goa’uld seem to be taking over and fair judgement was no longer in play.  
“So, was there a chance Anise could have been the spy that Freya had come to warn us about?”  
Jonathan asked the question, looking at the High Chancellor but like so many other questions that had been asked in the past, no actual answer was ever given and the Tok’ra left the SGC with even more unresolved problems.  
“I’m telling you General, if it were up to me – we would put all snakes in the same category and treat them all the same -not trusting any of them.”  
General Hammond looked at Jonathan and shook his head. Did the young man even know how much he sounded like Jack just then? Maybe they should have heeded that advice a real long time ago.


	30. Frustration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all – Thank you! Every one of you that read my writings, Thank you! It is like fairy dust to me and makes me believe in myself and sometimes we all need a little bit of fairy dust to help us with our trust and faith. Secondly – I must admit that I have gone further with this story then I thought I would and I still don’t know when it may end.   
> Now to my faithful readers who have been kind enough to point it out – yes, Janet Frazier is dead in this story – as was evident I believe in chapter 2 – I have gone back through the last four chapters and changed Frazier to Dr. Lam – which is who has been in the story from the beginning. Sorry!   
> Please continue to read – and if you want to leave a review, by all means do so – my writing does not depend on how many reviews I receive – Just thanks to the ones that have given me hope again!

Chapter 30 – Frustration  
Jack lay on the bed watching Sam get dressed. He had been back with the living for almost 2 months now. It was so hard to believe – it was as if every minute passed like a second. Would this be the way time would be with her from now on – would it go by so fast that it would seem to be over just when it got started. He knew he had a lot of years over her – and with all of his previous health problems – he knew he would go first when death came calling unless it was not natural. Was he ready to face the fact that he could lose her just when he got her?  
They still had not found Kinsey, the Tok’ra was still as arrogant as they always had been – even worse now that Jacob had passed. No one at the SGC or the White House had figured out who was giving Kinsey information and to be honest, even after all this time – he was still waiting on Oma Desala to extract her revenge on the fact that he had become mortal again.   
Jack laughed to himself when he thought about her revenge and he realized that without a doubt she had definitely extracted it. He had been healed at the time he was taken but now since he had come back against her will – he was not completely healed. Oh, the broken bones were healed but the scars, aches and pains were still there. The arthritis, the chronic pain and the headaches were all back – he knew this because he felt them now. So, did he really want to tie her down to an old man that could not even make love to his wife without feeling like he had been ran over by a mac truck the next morning? Did he really want to know that he left a grieving widow behind that should not have married him in the first place?  
Jack knew he would always be there for Sam his daughter, there was no doubt about that – but could he be a father without being a husband? Could he be a friend to Sam without being a husband? What if there was someone else out there that could give Sam and the baby so much more happiness? Time together meant so much but would it mean that much if it was spent with a crippled old man? As it was by the time his daughter reached twenty – he would be pushing almost sixty-five. Damn, what was he thinking? Just because you love someone does not mean you can always have them.   
Sam turned around and looked at Jack – she saw the faraway look in his eyes and the furrowed brow. “He’s doing it again, damn!” She thought to herself. Walking over to the bed, she scooted one of his legs over so that she was sitting in between them. Taking her hand, she gently rubbed the scar that was still showing on his chest where the artifact had nailed him to the wall.  
He winced.   
Then she took her hand and rubbed it on the shoulder where the arrow pierced through it when it came through the glass.   
He winced again.  
Taking her knee, she pushed gently into his abdomen where the staff blast had landed that would have ended his life if it had not been for the new vest inserts that the SGC had invented, although she knew well how he felt about them – knowing it did not help Janet.   
He actually pulled away this time – taking a deep breath.  
“Carter! Are you having fun?”  
“I was just wondering if you were still alive and feeling anything or was I looking at an old cold dead fish?”  
“What? Carter don’t confuse me”  
“Don’t act dumb and I won’t confuse you”  
Jack attempted to turn his head but Carter caught him and turned his face back towards her. She was not going to let this go on any longer. For the last week, every time they had made love – he had awakened with something on his mind – something that looked like regret. She knew what it was. She had heard it enough in the past every time they would start to become too close. He had never said it out loud but he had hinted that she needed to get her a “younger man”, that he had been around the corner too many times for such a young woman to want to be with.   
In the past, it had made her feel as if he did not think she could trust her own feelings – now it just down right pissed her off. It was time for it to stop. She would not be leaving this ship without being his wife – no more playing around. It was over and done with. General Jonathan “Jack” O’Neill would be married before they were sent back to Earth. And when Samantha Grace Carter set her mind to something, nothing was going to stop it from happening besides God himself. For some reason, she did not feel she had God to worry about on this one, He was on their side.   
“Jack O’Neill, I am tired of babying your ass! For you to want to go around claiming to be so damn old all the time you sure want people to feel sorry for you! I know what I want – and it is not some younger jackass that may have made it through college but doesn’t even know what a supernova is. I don’t want some smart ass that things I should stay home and cook his meals and change diapers all the time.”  
Taking a deep breath, Sam pulled herself up on her knees until she was face to face with Jack – locking her blue eyes onto his brown eyes – she watched his face for a few minutes. She could actually see the torment in his eyes because he did not want to cause her anymore pain. She was going to have to get really mean and ugly but if it proved to him that he was what she wanted, what she needed – then so be it  
“Jack – how many times are we going to have to go through this – I love you! I have never loved a single man as much as I love you – no one. You have had the opportunity to love someone that loved you back but I haven’t. Do you think I cannot handle you when you become old and ornery? Do you think I will shy away from you when I may have to start changing your diapers at night because you can no longer control your bladder? When you become disoriented and lost because your mind does not work as well any longer – do you think I am going to pack up and leave because it is too hard a job for me? Do you think I am weaker than Kynthia?”  
That got a reaction from Jack that she wanted to see. He was angry now. Sitting back on the bed, Sam kept a hold of Jack’s face with both of her hands. She knew the tears were falling down her face but she did not care. It hurt to think of Jack where he could not take care of himself but it was a reality that they would face.   
“Jack – you are so worried about growing old and leaving me behind but what if I walk away because I have been injured and cannot function anymore? Just because we are not going off world does not been we are now completely safe. I mean – didn’t you just die at the hands of your own country men? Will you walk away and leave me if I can’t control my functions anymore? Or are you saying you are stronger than I am?”  
“No Carter – I know that is not true! I would never think you as a weak person. You are one of the strongest people I know. I just don’t want you to live with regret.”  
“Jack, I would never regret being with you for the rest of our lives and besides….”  
Sam got a devilish grin on her face as she finished her sentence.  
“when you finally pass away with your old crippled self – I will just marry someone younger and more energetic and live off your insurance.”  
Jack caught Sam as she struggled to get off the bed, tickling her until she was withering and giggling uncontrollable.  
“No giggling, Carter”  
And just like that – Sam stopped. Eyes wide she looked at Jack – a look of pure fright written all over her face. Jack watched her and then he felt it – a wetness that seemed to cover the entire area where she laid. Maybe she had a problem controlling her bladder now that she was pregnant when she was tickled crossed his mind. Then he saw the look change from fright to fright mixed with pain and he knew what had happened. Their daughter was going to make an appearance whether it was time or not.  
***********************************************************************************  
Kinsey listened to what the alien standing in front of him had to say. He found it very hard to believe that not one of these creatures knew where SG1 was. By now he had expected to have Major Carter where she would do him the most good – fighting for her life in front of a camera so that he could bait O’Neill into coming to her rescue.   
Simmons being taken by a Goa’uld had been the best surprise he could have ever encountered – and to be able to use him in Washington for as long as he had -well, even that had been more then Kinsey had ever hoped for. Now, with Thor’s brother acting like the scared kid on the playground instead of experimenting, it was harder for Simmons to be able to track down Thor’s whereabouts.  
Everyone at the White House had known that each time Loki had done an experiment – Thor had always informed the President what it was and what the consequences of said experiment was. However, Thor had obviously gotten tired of bailing his brother out and had enforced his law that no experiments were to be done on humans again. Which meant that the device that Anise had slipped on Loki’s ship was not doing them a whole lot of good right now.   
In the past where Loki was, Thor was not too far behind so the beacon on the brother’s ship had been able to keep up with SG1’s favorite alien and hence allow Kinsey to know if any of them had been aboard but ever since he had found out that they were on a deserted planet and Jack was coming home he had not been able to track Thor or SG1.  
Kinsey looked over at Simmons – Goa’uld or not he knew he could get rid of the man if he needed to – he had always been able to get rid of the ants that did his bidding when he was finished with them. He just had to use the snake a little longer and then it would be over – once he had Sam Carter in his hands and the Goa’uld had gotten rid of Hayes – he would discard him as he had anything else of no value to him.   
“Do not think I am something to be played with, Tauri – I can assure you – I have no alliance with you. I will snap your neck as soon as I would Jack O’Neill’s.”  
The comment caused Kinsey to shudder against his will, yes – the time of usage for this one was almost up. He no longer had to worry about Anise – she had ended her own life, a form of regret he did not know or care. Woolsey was taken care of and this one was the last one he would have to trash but first he would use him to get what he wanted. He would kill Sam Carter in front of O’Neill and then he would kill O’Neill.


	31. Whisper of Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! I know - I know, please don't have a heart attack. I do apologize that it has been what seems like ages since a chapter was posted and I will let you know now that I don't know when in the next 3 - 4 months another will be posted. RL has been kicking me in the arse and not let up. Please understand that I hope you are still with me and enjoy this chapter as you have the others. PS - no throwing things at the computer aimed at the author, please!

Jack watched with great concern as Sam tossed and turned on the soaked bed. Soaked from her sweat and tears. He knew she was in pain but there was nothing he could do to ease what she was going through. He hated to think that he may have caused another woman to hate him by them losing a child before the child was even born. He could not help the wince that showed on his face when he heard her moan in pain again.

“Thor!”

The roar echoed through the ship and bounced off the walls. Something had to be done. Enough was enough. Jack didn’t care if no one did like his plan – his ass was going to the SGC and bringing Dr. Lam back here to help his wife. They could argue until they were blue in the face. He flatly refused to watch another love one die by his hand. And yes, it was his hand. If he could have kept his emotions intact and never showed how he really felt about her, Sam would not have had hope last as long.  
That wasn’t true and he knew it. They were in love with each other the first time they saw each other. May not have chalked it up as love but it was. And if going back to Earth and risking his life could save his wife and runt than that is what would be done. Jack started towards the door when he felt Sam grip his wrist even tighter. Looking back at her, he realized her eyes were opened and his heart tore at the pain that was showing there. 

“Jack please don’t – don’t leave me. I won’t make it a second time not knowing where you are or what is happening. You have to understand – I can no more lose you then you can me.”  
Jack looked down at Sam. She looked like a rag doll laying on their bed. He knew she was right, if he went to Earth – he would not be coming back. But what was he supposed to do? She could not just lay there – the babe was coming and it was coming early. It being Sam’s first made it twice as dangerous. Worried was not half of what Jack was feeling – helpless was a major part of it.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. Lam stood in shock while others around her seemed to think nothing had happened. There was no doubt about it, she had seen his face, it was there one minute and then gone the next. She knew she was not going crazy – although the man that owned the face she saw was well capable of driving a human – especially a doctor – crazy.  
Carolyn had not seen Jack in over 6 months. She was not even sure if he was alive, rumors being just that – rumors. She felt sure the last communication she had from Jonathan was correct and that Jack was alive. But if he was alive and with Sam, why was he contacting the SGC? She knew Jack was a glutton for punishment but even he should know that there were still spies at the SGC, and any of them would be ecstatic to turn him or information on him to Kinsey. Although if Reynolds and Cameron had their way – soon the SGC would be clear of all that had a problem or still has a problem with SG1 and its commander.  
Carolyn stood very still, not wanting to move – scared she may miss the image if it should appear again. She knew that if it was Jack then there was a very serious problem with someone one his team and Jack would risk hell every day of his life to keep someone he cared about alive. And if it was Sam – well he would risk more than hell, he would risk death every minute of his life.  
General Landry stood and watched his daughter unsure of what was going on. He had see the look of shock that had crossed her face, then quickly switched to confusion. What had she seen that had eluded everyone else? He stood there observing her, waiting to see if her face changed again.  
While observing her, he also watched the others in the room with her to make sure they had not seen her reaction. He was sure between certain air men, most of the spies were gone but you never knew who was being paid on the side to play dirty. After all, who would have ever thought that Colonial Mathews would have turned on Jack, not after all the times they had fought together and saved each other’s butts. But then money and power can do a lot to people.  
Kinsey had been underground now ever since Cameron had found the place he had used to torture Jack. And from the information coming in quietly, the good guys were finally gaining on Kinsey and his crew. With the information that Woolsey was handing over – every place that Kinsey had been at was now information that the President and the Air Force had. He had to be running out of hiding places, he had to be. Somehow Landry had to believe that one day Kinsey would get his due.  
Suddenly he saw her, Carolyn had literally jumped back from something – just what he did not know because he had not seen anything. But Carolyn definitely had. As he watched her, she turned and walked from the examination room she had been in to her office, looking slightly flustered. Okay so maybe it was time to investigate exactly what was going on.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Jack was becoming more hopeless each minute. Sam had been in severe pain now for almost six hours and they had gotten no closer to getting help for her. The baby was coming – there was no stopping it but what would be the result? From what Sam had calculated a few days earlier – she still had at least two months to go before her due date. This was not good – as Daniel kept reminding everyone. Jack almost swore at him as he said it again. Jack rubbed his face, damn he knew it was not good but what else could he do?  
Thor had been trying all morning to get the relocation beam activated so that maybe they could beam Dr. Lam aboard but so far all they had achieved was to get the hologram working. Jack had paid a quick visit to the base through that for Dr Lam’s eyes only, but she had only confirmed what he already knew. If the little stinker came now there may be danger of her vital organs not operating, especially her lungs. She did state what had been thought by most of the ones on the ship, both Sam and the baby was in danger. Without proper medical care he could lose both people he loved.  
He watched Jonathon as he worked with Thor on the equipment. He could not believe what he looked like. He had been pissed when he had found out about the aging process that Jonathon had talked Thor into doing so he could take Jack’s place. The whole damn plan was stupid and he told them both off about it. But that was past, and Thor had stopped the aging process but for some reason it had not quit aging Jonathon. Jack could not believe the man that squatted on the floor by Thor – he looked just like himself at the age of thirty.  
Jack thought back to his early thirties. God, what a strange life he lived. He was in his thirties when his life was torn apart with the loss of the other two people he loved more than life. Hopefully, Jack thought to himself – as much as Jon looked like him he would not have all of his luck or traits. And then he cringed as he heard Jon.  
“Oh, for crying out loud! What is the deal with this piece of crap, Thor.” And then the wrench he was holding flew across the room.  
“Young O’Neill, I do not have a piece of crap, I have a ship. I do apologize that it is not functioning correctly. Please control your anger, it will not help the situation.”  
Thor turned from talking to Jonathan and looked at Jack. He knew what he had to say but he also knew the rebuttal he would get. But he knew it was Colonel Carter’s only choice. If they wanted her and little O’Neill to live – they had to take this chance.  
Jonathon stood up and walked over to where Sam and Jack were. Teal’c and Daniel were over in the corner and he could hear Daniel repeating over and over ‘this is not good, this is not good’. He understood why Jack would swear at the man, but he also understood where Daniel was coming from. Sam meant more to them all then most would ever understand. If they lost Sam they would lose the baby - If they lost Sam and the baby, they would lose Jack – it was that simple.  
Looking at her lying there with pain etched on her face caused his heart to hurt. He knew what it was like to be in the hands of Loki and he was not so sure the suggestion Thor had given Jack was the safest one. He knew Jack would do anything to save Sam, so he would sooner you later agree, but he would watch the slippery creature more than Jack would. He knew Jack would eventually give in and allow Thor to go ahead with his plan, he knew this because he would do the same for Cassandra.  
“Jack, we have to let him try. I know what you are thinking and believe me I can fully understand but if we don’t at least try, we are going to lose them both.”  
Jack looked at Jonathan, and then over at Teal’c and Daniel. Was he even considering this? Were they all really that desperate? Looking down at Sam, he knew he was.  
“Fine, but Thor, I don’t mean to disrespect you – I think of you as more than a friend but if anything happens and my wife or child dies – I will kill him.” (Jack pulled the 9mm from his holster and pointed it at Loki’s head)  
Loki shivered as he looked into the eyes of Jack O’Neill. He knew the wrath this man held and the contempt he had for him. He just did not understand like his brother – he did not understand why love was more important to this species then the mind. After all, would that not be enough – she would be helping her people in so many ways. Would his brother really allow this human to kill him?  
Thor watched Loki. Was his brother really that cold? Loki knew he could read his mind if he tried and yet it did not bother him to think these thoughts.  
“Loki, I will kill you – destroy the thing you hold most dear – your mind completely if you attempt anything other than saving Colonel Carter’s life.”  
Loki actually gulped, and Jack looked back and forth between the brothers to see if he could figure out what had developed between the two of them. But then again, did he really want to know what Loki had thought to cause the remark from his brother?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Teal’c walked from the room into the control room. He knew that in his lifetime he had watched many a man weep over the loss of their loved ones but Jack O’Neill – his brother. Could he stand there and watch him fall to pieces any longer. When Jack had hit his knees and opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out – he knew he could not stand there any longer. He had to find a way to help his brother – there had to be a way.  
The hologram was still in operation that Jack had used earlier to contact Dr. Lam. Would there be a chance that he could reach someone else on there, someone that could bring the dead back to life? Was there a chance he could give his brother back his wife?


	32. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear friends – hope you enjoy this chapter. I love your reviews and knowing that you are enjoying the story. Hope to have another chapter soon. Thank you all for your continued support.  
> Vanessa

Teal’c watched the image as it became clear and knew he had finally made contact. Whether they would be able to help he was not sure. While he explained what had happened upon Thor’s ship, he watched Daniel as he walked quietly to another room holding the tiny bundle. He knew the babe was close to death for it did not make a sound. How was his brother supposed to handle another blow like this? Teal’c knew one thing for sure, as soon as he could get his hands on Kinsey, Teal’c would hurt him so bad Kinsey would live a long time wishing he was dead.

“Teal’c, we would be honored to help in this situation. We will do everything in our power we can, but we can do no more than what the Giver of Life allows us to do. If it is not in His plan than it cannot be done.”  
“Thank you –but here is the other issue, Thor has no way to beam you aboard his ship.”  
“Teal’c, that is not …..”

Suddenly the image was gone. Teal’c looked around to see if something had happened or if Thor may have done something but he seemed to be the only one in the area. What had happened to cause the interruption? He had to get them back or there would be no chance at what he was praying could be done. 

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Simmons watched Kinsey while trying to figure out just what his options were at this point in the game. He knew whichever way he went, his life as he knew it was over. But he felt he would be better off spilling his guts to the government then taking his chances and being caught red handed with Kinsey.  
Kinsey knew what Simmons was thinking. He was no idiot. Obviously, the idiot was the one sitting in front of him and he obviously did not remember what had happened to Woosley. Maybe Simmons needed a refresher course and he would be more than happy to give him one.  
Simmons look of shock was quickly changed to pain. He could not believe what had happened until he looked down at his hand and saw the blood pooling around the hole that should have been his fingers. Simmons had not even seen the gun, let alone realize that Kinsey was aiming it at him. The man was insane and now he was right there in league with him. He had heard about Jack O’Neill and about Woosley, but Simmons never thought about the consequences when the time came for Kinsey to turn on him.   
Before he had a chance to think anymore, the gun went off again and this time Simmons did not scream or see the blood covering his chest– all he saw was darkness. Darkness that surrounded all the wrong things he had done. Darkness that seemed to dig up every demon from the underworld to crowd his mind and make him feel cold. With a look of complete horror frozen on his face that actually caused Kinsey to shudder, Simmons was dead.   
Kinsey looked at the heap slumped over in the chair. He did not understand why some men became weak when things became difficult. He thought sure Simmons was made of tougher stuff then that piece of crap Woosley and he did not even want to talk about his aide. Kennedy, he wimped out before the government came crawling in. Although he may have gotten away, Kinsey would find him before this was over and he would torture him worse than he ever had Jack O’Neill. And even though he had not had the pleasure of seeing O’Neill die, his sources had confirmed that he was in fact dead. His next great challenge was that alien lover Daniel Jackson – he would torture him just for the fun of it and then have him locked up in some psychiatric ward where no one would ever find him. How dare him think that aliens from other planets were in the same level as God’s own people on Earth.   
As for Sam Carter, he got his pleasure in her pain knowing that she was living every day without O’Neill. She deserved that for thinking that she could betray her family name by screwing with her commanding officer. It did not matter what the two of them claimed, he knew they had been messing around the minute they met each other. Jacob was rolling over in his grave knowing how he had always put his service for his Country above everything – even his family and now this whore trampled on everything he stood for.  
That Java – Teal’c – well there was only one way to handle him and that was to give him to the rogue N.I.D. – what fun they would have with him. They could use him in any way they pleased and find out everything they needed to about his chemistry.   
Kinsey still had enough friends – well acquaintances, he did not have friends, they were too much of a liability. Power, hungry acquaintances is what he had, and he had enough of them that he would eventually be able to come out of hiding and when he did the world he called home would see what having a true American in office could achieve and could destroy. Stargate command would soon be his.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Thor had known since meeting the Tauri so many years ago that the Asgard had lost so much more than just their physical appearance. With all their experimenting, they had also lost the need to feel love and give love. They had never realized this before – the brain was their only concern and how great they good make it. So many of the great species in the great galaxies knew now what it was to care for another – but Thor had to admit that the Tauri was the only one he knew of that seemed to be at the point of death with grief when they lost the person they loved. Now seeing O’Neill kneeling at the edge of the bed that Sam Carter laid on and looking at the hopeless, lost look on his face – Thor could almost feel the emotion trying to release itself from his inner being.   
Thor had tried to find a way to express his sentiment to Jack and the others but unfortunately, he did not know how. Words came out sounding hollow to his ears and he was lost after that. So, with head held down in shame, he quietly left to work again on the transporter. Knowing that Teal’c had gotten back in contact with the Nox on the intercom, he knew that the transporter really was not necessary for them to be able to board the ship but the desire to have another Tauri here that O’Neill may talk to move his desire even more to fix the transporter. Even though Sam and possibly the baby were lost, he still felt that Dr., Lam should be here. Someone needed to check on the man who considered him such a dear friend – a dear friend who had no comfort to give at this time. Someone had to help him, or Thor feared what his next move would be if the babe in the other room did not make it.   
Jonathon stood, fear mixed with dread showing on his face. Surely fate would not play such a cruel trick on this man whom he felt as close to as a son would a father. Why did it seem that life liked to kick those who were already down? His eyes drifted over to Jack kneeling by the bed, arms wrapped tightly around Sam, tears on his face, the look of pain and sadness so deep that it cut to Jonathan’s heart. Jonathon could not help the praying and cussing that escaped him at the same time.   
Jonathan knew that Loki had not gotten a chance to try anything before the life monitors that the Asgard used were going off. Looking in disbelief he watched Thor shake his head confirming what he already knew – Sam was dead. As for the tiny bundle, Jonathan had watched as Thor handed her over to Daniel who walked away with the baby. Whether she was alive or not Jonathan did not know, he did not even know if it was a little girl but whatever the sex he prayed with all his might that the little Tyke was alive. That would be at least some comfort to Jack.  
Jonathon had seen pain in someone’s eyes before when they had lost someone, but he had never experienced the look of death and despair as he saw now in Jacks. His whole body resonated of failure as if he had killed Sam and possible the baby himself, with his own hands. No matter what Daniel had said to him to try to comfort him when they had first realized that Sam was gone, the words seemed to bounce of Jack as if there was a stone wall between him and his friends.  
Finally, seeing Thor working on the transporter, he walked over to him to see if there was anything at all that he could do to at least take some of the pain away. He knew that Teal’c had been trying to get the Nox here to help but he could not understand how that would be possible. Unless they also had a locator chip placed in them as he and Jack had. Loki had placed his in him when he had cloned him from Jack and Thor had placed one in Jack. Jonathan had also heard Thor make the comment when they had tried to get Dr. Lam here that when this was all over with – every Tauri that Jack trusted would be given a locator chip.   
Teal’c had barely finished his conversation when he felt someone beside him. Though it was hard for some at the SG1 to realize that it was not Jack they were talking to, Teal’c knew the difference without even looking at Jonathan. He felt the despair coming from the young man but more than the despair he felt the anger. The young O’Neill wanted to get his hands on someone and hurt them bad. Teal’c had a feeling it was the alien hiding in the corner that young O’Neill wanted so bad. Loki had played it very smart and found it very advisable to keep his mouth shut and his presence to a minimum.   
“Hello young O’Neill”  
“Teal’c, what are you trying to do? I don’t know if this will work since we are not on their planet or in a battle.”  
Teal’c looked at Jonathan – amazed at just how much he had in common with the man he was cloned from. The doubt was so present in his voice that Teal’c even wondered if he had been mistaken and the man standing beside him was O’Neill. Sadly, he shook his head. It hurt him to know his brother in arms had been through so much pain and sorrow that it had even reflected straight through the young man that passed so easily as his son.  
Before Teal’c had a chance to respond however, there was a noise from where Thor was working on the transporter and before anyone realized what had happened, Loki was disappearing. When the glow faded, standing in the same place Loki had been standing was Dr. Lam. Surprise shown on Thor’s face as much as it did on Dr. Lams. Could he believe what the back of his mind was telling him? Had his brother deceived him once again and had messed up the transporter until the time he needed it to escape. He prayed he was wrong, but he knew he was not. At least there was a small comfort from this, his brother had not known that the location beam had still been fixed on Earth – on the SG1 to be exact. So, he had not only brought Dr. Lam to them, but he had landed himself right in the middle of the home base of Sam Carter and O’Neill. Thor had a feeling when some of the Tauri realized which Asgard had been beamed there – Loki may be just wishing he was back here.  
After getting an idea on her bearings, Dr. Lam wasted no time finding where Jack and Sam were. Sadness welled in her eyes as she saw the lifeless body lying on the bed and the man kneeling by the bed that wished he was dead.

jsjsjsjsjsjjsjsjjsjsjsjsjjjjjsjsjsjjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsj

Loki looked around him and then turned and tried to escape back through the beam, but it was too late. He was stuck here – with these beings that his brother thought so much about. But he was not worried. They were dumb to say the least. His brain power would be able to convince them that it would be in their best interest to not harm him. Especially when he gave them the one man they wanted more than him. He was after all the only one who knew where the Tauri Kinsley was hiding.  
Or so he thought….

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Two of the men hidden safely in the woods looked at each other with shock as they listened to Kinsey ramble on aloud to himself. Their first reaction when they had heard the gun go off was to bombard the place they were watching. But the man in charge just shook his head and held his finger to his lips. They were not sure what he was waiting for, but they did not question him at all.  
Cameron listened to the ravings of the madman. They had finally gotten a lead to where Kinsey was when they followed Simmons from his home earlier that morning. The phone call that had been traced had told Cameron that Simmons had an idea his life was about to end. The conversation had gone from a confession to a will, leaving all his investments to his daughter. Kelly had walked away from her father almost six years ago when she had found out that Simmons had been in league with Kinsey.  
As events unfolded, Cameron knew that Simmons had been right on track on his assessment that his death was near. Cameron knew men like Kinsey and they did not keep loose strings untied. Kinsey was through with what he needed from Simmons, so he could be discarded. Cameron also knew that there was no way Kinsey could be allowed to escape – if he got away from them there would be other deaths.   
Although Cameron knew he could not disobey a direct order, but he also knew that if he had his way about it, he would walk in that building right now and shoot the bastard with every bullet he had in his Glock and then start over with a new clip, never hitting a vital organ.


End file.
